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Unread 08-12-2017, 04:20 PM   #11
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Default Re: New to having a relationship, am I supposed to feel like this?

Hate to sound like the party pooper, but you can't have a relationship without actually knowing the person irl first.
Because the simple truth is, you don't know this person.
Who they say they are, how they behave online are only what they want to show you.
When you get to know someone irl you see it all even the bits they you wish you didn't.
Even Skype and face time can only give you enough to know if they are physically attracted too you.

A LDR happens when for whatever reason, your real life partner and you have to live a distance apart. Wether through college, work , military, prison.

I don't know what to call these online things...fantasies I suppose, since it's mostly projection and guess work.

I am not saying it couldn't work if you met. Or that it is an impossibility.

I think the reason your so apprehensive is because you know all this, and that some part of you knows this isn't real.

Maybe you should say you liked things better as they were, before the labels.
That your saying never you would just rather meet first before making that kind of step.?

Of course you might disagree with me entirely, and you know, that's fine too.

Just do whatever puts you most at ease.
All the best, and take care.
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Unread 08-12-2017, 06:18 PM   #12
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Confused Re: New to having a relationship, am I supposed to feel like this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Erebos View Post
Hate to sound like the party pooper, but you can't have a relationship without actually knowing the person irl first.
Because the simple truth is, you don't know this person.
Who they say they are, how they behave online are only what they want to show you.
When you get to know someone irl you see it all even the bits they you wish you didn't.
Even Skype and face time can only give you enough to know if they are physically attracted too you.

A LDR happens when for whatever reason, your real life partner and you have to live a distance apart. Wether through college, work , military, prison.

I don't know what to call these online things...fantasies I suppose, since it's mostly projection and guess work.

I am not saying it couldn't work if you met. Or that it is an impossibility.

I think the reason your so apprehensive is because you know all this, and that some part of you knows this isn't real.

Maybe you should say you liked things better as they were, before the labels.
That your saying never you would just rather meet first before making that kind of step.?

Of course you might disagree with me entirely, and you know, that's fine too.

Just do whatever puts you most at ease.
All the best, and take care.
No, you just made perfect sense. You're right. Online is so different than in real life and yes we get along so well now but I know it might be completely different in person, we could possibly not "click" as well. In the long run it's better to stay friends now so later on it won't hurt as much for him and me if things go wrong. I'm just, I'm so nervous to tell him this, how can i? He was excited. I was too in a way, we told our friends. I know this is selfish but I don't want people to think badly of me if I cause him to get upset (not in a bad way, in a sad way). I'm honestly not sure if it's just online relationships aren't for me or relationships period.
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Unread 08-12-2017, 06:39 PM   #13
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Default Re: New to having a relationship, am I supposed to feel like this?

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Originally Posted by Bill3 View Post
What are the pros and cons of having a relationship with him?
I can't think if any cons about him, just about my feelings towards this relationship
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Unread 08-12-2017, 06:59 PM   #14
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Default Re: New to having a relationship, am I supposed to feel like this?

When you find the right person IRL or he becomes a IRL person. Im sure you will be quite capable of having a good relationship with the person. Its hard enough gettkng to REALLY know someone IRL

Bad relationships often happen becausd the people desperately want a relationship even when they are incompatible. Initially they want it so bad then the reality that they really didnt know the person is & they dont like what they ended up with. Add the inabiluty through internet of only knowing what they wany you to know.

I would just say that you have been seriously thinking this over & honestly dont see a point in having an exclusive online relationship with someone you have no IRL contact with & if the tkme ever comes when you do get together you will gladly reconsider after hettkng to really know him.
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Unread 08-12-2017, 08:31 PM   #15
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Default Re: New to having a relationship, am I supposed to feel like this?

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I can't think if any cons about him, just about my feelings towards this relationship
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Unread 08-12-2017, 09:56 PM   #16
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Default Re: New to having a relationship, am I supposed to feel like this?

I think it's all online to be honest and you've only known him for 2 weeks. It's not a true measure of a "first" relationship, in my humble opinion.
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Unread 08-12-2017, 10:42 PM   #17
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Default Re: New to having a relationship, am I supposed to feel like this?

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I think it's all online to be honest and you've only known him for 2 weeks. It's not a true measure of a "first" relationship, in my humble opinion.
Haha I actually known him for a year and a half
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Unread 08-13-2017, 03:56 AM   #18
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Default Re: New to having a relationship, am I supposed to feel like this?

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Haha I actually known him for a year and a half
Doesn't matter. It's online. I don't think it's a real "relationship".
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Unread 08-13-2017, 02:58 PM   #19
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Default Re: New to having a relationship, am I supposed to feel like this?

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Haha I actually known him for a year and a half
You have known what he wants you to know about him. Until you are actually TOGETHER IRL, yiu will never REALLY know him. Some people we never get to know even IRL. I honestly NEVER knew my H even after 33 years of being married to him before getting fed up & leaving
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