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Unread 08-11-2017, 04:16 PM   #1
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Default Feeling empty and alone

I broke up with my boyfriend and although I'm happy it's over it's the first time I've been alone since I was a teenager as I've always been in relationships. Now I feel constantly empty and sad and pretty worthless. It's made me realise that I don't have much of a sense at all of who I am and it's painful. I've been chatting to guys here and there since and I feel a boost of happiness once I have their attention but if I'm left alone I feel empty. I am really struggling. I'm not sure what to do, can anyone advise me? Maybe someone understands this feeling?
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Unread 08-11-2017, 04:36 PM   #2
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Default Re: Feeling empty and alone

You need time to get to know you. This isn't the time for a new relationship. I don't mean this in a man-hating way, but you don't need a romantic relationship to be complete or happy. Take time, find hobbies and interests you haven't had time for, or find new ones. If you're an animal lover, volunteer for a shelter or rescue. Go on a trip or vacation, if you can afford it. Maybe go to college. Look on Meetup.com for a group that might interest you, or elsewhere for groups of interest. This is the time to find out who you are. If you jump into a new relationship, you'll find yourself in the same position later, only you'll be older. It gets harder when you're older. Look at all the opportunities you have now.
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Unread 08-11-2017, 08:24 PM   #3
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No advise....I just want to let you know I'm sorry for how you are currently feeling and I hope you find a way to get to know and appreciate yourself. The above poster has some good suggestions. Good luck and take care.
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Unread 08-12-2017, 02:59 AM   #4
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Default Re: Feeling empty and alone

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. This is a wonderful opportunity for you to find or rediscover yourself in a way you might not have been able to do in a relationship. Approach it from that angle. I do know how that feels. I've had a change of status and even though I knew it was coming, it's been really hard. Hang in there. Sending big hugs.
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Unread 08-12-2017, 03:02 AM   #5
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Sorry you're feeling this way. It's understandable. Don't rush for a new relationship.. instead, try to take some time for yourself.
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Unread 08-12-2017, 04:38 AM   #6
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Default Re: Feeling empty and alone

Take time to find out who you are & what you are in relation to you, yourself. We lose ourself when our identity is based on who & what we are when it's only in response to someone else in our life.

I got married while in college & still living at home with my parents. I never had a chance to ever figure out who I was without it being affected by those I was living around. Yes, I was very independent & I was determined to get my accounting & computer science degree & enjoy performing my flute in chamber groups & I enjoyed backpacking & horses & my dogs.....BUT.......

All my living around connections were so dysfunctional that I didn't even notice being knee deep in the mire that they all created. It had become normal.

So when I walked out of my marriage after 33 years & moved 2100 miles away to where I didn't know anyone, I had the perfect chance to get to know me. Get involved in things I had never done before. The stress before had been so great I had no idea how much it affected my retention of information & my ability to get in wonderful discussions. One of the first awesome feelings was going to the grocery store & buying food that only I liked & filling my cupboards with things only I liked. I have learned more about me in the last 10 years. I also learned how dysfunctional I had grown living around dysfunctional people for 54 years of my life. I had a lot of learning to do & still am.

I had never lived alone in my 54 years of life but honestly I have grown to love it. You never know what you will learn about yourself until you give it a good chance & how much personal growth happens when living alone.

It's definitely important before ever getting into a relationship so that you know what compromises you are willing to make & what boundaries are important.

It the right man ever comes along I might be interested but then again, I might not & I am happy no matter what my future holds
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