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Unread 08-07-2017, 06:18 AM   #21
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Default Re: Finding it hard to stay faithful to one man

It's all about wanting to be loved and liked, the attention is what some people seek, you said the guy with bipolar is married so that means you can chat to whoever you like but be careful not to get too involved with a married man and that can cause further heartache and effect you.
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Unread 08-07-2017, 08:28 AM   #22
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Thank you, Claire!
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Unread 08-07-2017, 09:26 AM   #23
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Default Re: Finding it hard to stay faithful to one man

These dating sites breed a lot of 'booty calls'. A lot of people do it, so they have become accustomed to expecting everyone will.

It's true, there's no 100% safe sex. You do take a risk. All the more reason to commit and be faithful.
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Unread 08-07-2017, 09:58 AM   #24
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Thank you for your input.
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Unread 08-07-2017, 10:07 AM   #25
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Default Re: Finding it hard to stay faithful to one man

Quote:
Originally Posted by Patagonia View Post
I did reply that this conversation should be at the forefront. I'm NOT promoting cheating.

And yes I think society has a great deal to do with it. Where does the basic principle come from in being exclusive?
In the primate world it's for breeding purposes only.
So when did humans decide that being monogamous was a moral decision? I'm not wanting to argue here, but bec of our harsh society rules there's many people out there that are dead inside, not really living, bec what they want is not condoned by society.

Why would the original poster even ask if it's ok that they look or talk to other people? Bec they've been taught (by society) it's not really acceptable. Maybe taboo.
^^This^^

That's why I give the finger to society and do things my own way.

As long as you're not hurting anybody than you should have every right to whatever you want. People who disagree are part of the problem and not the solution.

So yeah, I agree that the OP needs to make her own decision about this. She should do whatever makes her happy and stop worrying about what others might think.
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Unread 08-07-2017, 10:34 AM   #26
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Thank you for your advice!
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Unread 08-08-2017, 07:07 PM   #27
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Default Re: Finding it hard to stay faithful to one man

Quote:
Originally Posted by Patagonia View Post
And yes I think society has a great deal to do with it. Where does the basic principle come from in being exclusive?
In the primate world it's for breeding purposes only.
So when did humans decide that being monogamous was a moral decision?
Here it is... long ago in a galaxy far far away... women could not work or in anyway care for themselves by law. Fathers knew that they had to find men to care for their daughters once they passed. They did it by marriage. Which was a contract. This contract was for life. Otherwise the father wouldn't get the benefit of the bargain. Safety insured for their girls.

It was.. you get a woman to bear your children and have sex with forever and probably some money in the form of a dowry -- IF -- you take care of her *till death do you part*.

So if a guy cheated it was a breach of contract because it put the woman wife in danger that you wouldn't take care of her. You had to marry one woman and couldn't get a divorce because that destroyed the entire system. And would leave women uncared for.

When women got liberation - society just couldn't give up the system and devised ways to try to keep people "trapped" in these relationships. Because marriage overall is good for society. Not the individual. The story was recast as "love" yes people got married due to "love" and they stayed together because -- it was love and love, tru luv, was forever.

But then in the 60s that didn't work either. 50% of marriages broke up and even though it makes less sense than ever society continues to try to brainwash these ideas on society so that they can maintain people trapped in bad marriages and trapped in bad jobs because they have to provide for bad marriages and kids.
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Unread 08-08-2017, 07:14 PM   #28
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Default Re: Finding it hard to stay faithful to one man

The first post to your thread sums up my thoughts exactly.
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Unread 08-08-2017, 10:05 PM   #29
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Default Re: Finding it hard to stay faithful to one man

Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
No I didn't know you cheat, it was a response to you saying that there shouldn't be guilt. I misunderstood you then. I thought you meant one can sleep with others with no guilt.

Since you brought up cheating I don't think you can claim that society made you do that. I just don't see how society makes us do anything that pertains to sex and relationships. Yes in the past. Not in 2017 in the western world imho.


Where did I claim exactly that society made me do this?
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Unread 08-08-2017, 10:07 PM   #30
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Default Re: Finding it hard to stay faithful to one man

Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Yeah I think cheating or lying is horrible. I do understand though that in the past when divorce was unacceptable or unattainable, especially for women, so there was often no other choice but cheat. Or when people couldn't openly date and had to hide. It's still the case in many cultures. There is no need to do any of it nowadays in the western world whatsoever. We are free to do whatever within limits. Heck that dude who slept around could probably find a girl who wouldn't mind.


And thank you so much for your forthright honest judgement of liars & cheaters.
Brush that halo your wearing!
Thank you so much.
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