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Old 08-11-2017, 08:17 PM   #11
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Default Re: Storm at the Party

First, I want to tell you that you write BEAUTIFULLY! Reading your story reminded me of reading a novel, I was on the edge of my seat and appreciated the honesty you had and willingness to see your own faults and warts. You are not pretentious and have insight into yourself very few have. If you use it correctly, it will serve you well. You know what the "best" way to handle it was but can admit your few people have this gift.
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Old 08-13-2017, 03:12 AM   #12
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Default Re: Storm at the Party

You were anxious (lack of a better word) on making a good impression on meeting a group of people that are important to someone that's important to you. I think most people are like this when meeting a new bf/gf group of friends. It's pretty natural to want to be accepted and fit it. You had a lot of alcohol in a short period of time to calm nerves/keep up with the group. This is also very common, at least in my experience! The combo of nerves/alcohol can and more likely than not, backfire. I've had it happen to me, my friends and family.
The good news is you got out of the situation and no one but your so saw your breakdown when it happened. My guess is your bf was irritated partially because you were assuming it was a bigger deal to his friends that it was.
If they are the type of people to judge you so harshly after such a short interaction then you need to decide if such people are worth getting so upset over.

Edit to add- I reread your post and replies and it seems you are very much aware of everything I said. If it makes you feel better to know, yes this does happen to others! My brother (along with everyone else in our family) has massive horrible anxiety. He was invited to my very social husbands stag party before our wedding. It was a weekend deal and lots of alcohol. All I heard afterwards was what a *** my brother was, even earning a nickname for himself! I really felt so bad as I knew he was on edge and acted poorly bc of it/alcohol. I know he was so ashamed and probably didn't want to go to my wedding 2 weeks later and face people. He went and it was fine. No one even brought up anything to him to his relief!

Last edited by mama pajama; 08-13-2017 at 03:37 AM.. Reason: Added a thought
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Old 08-13-2017, 07:29 AM   #13
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Default Re: Storm at the Party

And this is why I don't drink in the company of fact I don't drink at all. You vet what I mean though.
Incidentally if your going to post on a public forum, you will get platitudes, attitude, things you don't agree with, and sometimes utter b.s.
If you are hyper sensitive to these things, posting your most delicate moments on forums,especially ones dedicated to those with mental health and personality disorders is possibly not the wisest choice to make.

We aren't mind readers, we can't possibly know what you do or don't want to hear, but most will be honest.

With regards to your post....doubt I can be much help, I don't have any female friends for the very reason I can not be bothered with the drama. It sounds like you walked into Marissa's web and wound up like a thrashing fly.
Still never mind, I would care less about what they think about it and be thankful your bf sat it out with you.
I suspect most bf's would have left their gf in the car and gone back to their friends.
I am guessing this kind of flake out is common, from what you said in your post.
I would offer some insight but I don't fancy getting it shoved back down the proverbial.

I do however wish you and yours all the best for the future. Take care.
I Don't Care What You Think Of Me...I Don't Think Of You At All.
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Old 08-30-2017, 09:31 PM   #14
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Default Re: Storm at the Party

Hi! 🙂

I'm not going to use the coulda, woulda, shoulda logic cause I have been where you are 🙂

Oh I*know* that storm and then the guilt I felt afterwards. I just recently lost my cool, the explosion hit me so fast I didn't stand a chance. It took me 2 weeks to pinpoint what exactly had set me off. It was my husband yet again playing the victim, denying promises he'd made and broken, pretended to be a great spouse yet, when the counselor wasn't looking at him, he was smirking and sneering. I too am a feminist and to have him denegrate the fact that I gave up my career to support his, make comments like Oh you're too sensitive etc well.. put me through the roof. I recently discovered he has set up notifications on *my* credit/debit cards. This limits any help I am trying to get. He tracks everything I do and then I am interrogated. Keeping my wits about me is not easy when someone is intentionally pushing my buttons.
So, I am doing something he'd never even guess - as soon as I have the nerve, I am going to talk to a Priest. I'm not religious but I have always found great support and comfort when working through things with a Priest.
I know if I don't get out of my current situation, it will destroy me. What I want to do is make sure that storm never gets on top of me again. So I am working on forgiving myself, I'm hard on myself, always have been.

I think you handeled your storm very good! You felt it coming and removed yourself from the instigation. Give yourself a huge high five, imo 🙂

Hopefully I don't sound like I'm preaching, I simply wanted to convey - you are not alone. The road we have to travel is a long one, more of a marathon than a sprint 😁

Take care 🤗

Wisteria Rose

Originally Posted by The_DollMage View Post
Normally I would and I realize that would have been the logical thing to do. Unfortunately the logical thing isn't always so easy to accomplish especially when you are already fighting demons and under the influence of alcohol. I would hope that this isn't something I would have to explain to someone on here as I am sure we all would prefer to do the rational thing instead of losing control but, alas, that why we are here.

As far as getting into therapy goes I am working on that. I have been working towards getting my affordable care plan up and going and as soon as it is I will get a therapist and psychiatrist.

I did not come here to be fed platitudes or reminded of what I should have done. Usually I am aware of what I should have done and what I need to do. I am just here seeking support from others who suffer from the same issues as me and assurance that I am not alone. I understand you believe that you are being helpful and appreciate that.
However, let me assure you... this was not.
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