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Unread 07-16-2017, 09:05 PM   #1
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Default Gaslighters and what to watch for

How gaslighting makes you feel like you're going crazy - Business Insider

I noticed this article and have thought about many of the threads I have read in this forum. Knowing the signs to look for in these toxic relationships is important and do not fall into wanting that love bombing back that you liked so much, it was never really love in the first place to pick up and leave.
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Unread 07-16-2017, 10:04 PM   #2
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Default Re: Gaslighters and what to watch for

Thanks for the link.

There is one thing that annoys me a bit about these kinds of articles though - it's psychologists accusations that victims "overempathize". I'd far rather live in a world where people err a bit on the side of empathy and openness than live in a world where people are mistrustful and more closed off. The real wrongdoing here is with people who gaslight, not with people high in agreeableness and openness personality traits.

I do agree it is important to have as much concern and empathy for oneself as one does for others, however (basically, healthy self-esteem). In the absence of that, I can see how anyone could be more likely to make excuses for other people's bad behavior.
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Unread 07-16-2017, 11:53 PM   #3
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Default Re: Gaslighters and what to watch for

Thanks for the link. It's a pretty good article that gives a good synopsis. I went and bought this movie years ago. A most dramatic rendition of an unhealthy relationship. A classic, for sure.

One of the numerous books that I was reading at that time in my life was "Who's Pulling Your Strings". It's about people pleasing. This article touches upon co-dependency which has/had relevance. I say had because not too long ago I looked it up online and codependency, much to my dismay, was rewritten online as a leadup to classification of narcissism. Maybe it changed back, but I've lost interest in being in the know/up to date of the latest and greatest changes.
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Unread 07-17-2017, 09:50 AM   #4
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Default Re: Gaslighters and what to watch for

I can see how that would confuse and dismay you healingme4me. The overall "codependency" theme can get confusing and yet I think when there is a connection to codependency and narcissism I guess the best way to look at that is narcissists look to accumulate individuals that they can manipulate and control so they do practice a kind of codependency. I think the root is low self esteem and how that can lead to behaviors that can either give into others or be the one who practices a lot of gaslighting in order to gain control/command over.

Last month I watched a documentary/movie about these primates and it was actually pretty amazing to see how many behaviors we as human primates practice that is really not very different from typical primate behaviors. What we don't realize is "how" malleable we actually are to practice these basic primate behavior patterns because of our need to thrive in groups.
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Unread 07-18-2017, 05:41 AM   #5
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Default Re: Gaslighters and what to watch for

Thanks for the link. Very informative.
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