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Unread 06-28-2017, 10:36 AM   #1
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Default I just want him back

Just as the titles says, i cant get a grip on this breakup and i just want him back. I want to know what i can do to get him back. Im so lost
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Unread 06-28-2017, 11:27 AM   #2
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Default Re: I just want him back

List ten good and healthy reasons he should be in your life
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Unread 06-28-2017, 11:28 AM   #3
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Default Re: I just want him back

You got to get in touch with him and try to work it out but if someone says their not in love with you then its useless to try. If he does care and he broke up for something else you got to try to fix things right away.
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Unread 06-28-2017, 11:50 AM   #4
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Default Re: I just want him back

I have tried talking to him. He said he just wants to space to make himself happy, he cant make me happy if hes not happy with himself. Which i get, but weve be together 8 years, and i cant handle that hes just gone. He's said he misses me but still needs time. Theres no other girl or anything like that, but just waiting for him to say anything is killing me, and i just want him back now.
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Unread 06-28-2017, 12:00 PM   #5
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Default Re: I just want him back

I am a little confused, from all your previous posts you were saying you wanted out, you wanted to end things.
That he wasn't giving you what you needed, and that he was emotionally abusive.

Then he broke up with you, which seemed like the answer to all your questions about if he wanted to commit...obviously not.
Did you then realise that actually you did want to be with him even if he didn't want any of the things you wanted?

You want him back. In what way did he do or say things to make you feel loved, wanted and needed?
What way was he providing you with what you needed in a relationship?

What will you be getting back, that you need so badly from him, should he come back?

Whatever happens I wish you all the best.
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Unread 06-28-2017, 12:08 PM   #6
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Default Re: I just want him back

Unfortunately, you can't force him to get back to you.. so I think the best decision here is just trying to move on (it's not easy, I know) since it looks like he already made a decision
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Unread 06-28-2017, 01:19 PM   #7
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Default Re: I just want him back

All relationships, even unhealthy ones, form bonds between people and those bonds are not easilly broken. Every relationship I've ever ended, even the ones that really needed to end, have caused me immense amounts of pain and an immediate instinct to want it back. Just try to keep your perspective and remind yourself that it is normal for your body to want equilibrium, for things to be "normal", and breaking a bond is emotionally (and sometimes even physically) *pain*-full. But, that doesn't mean it isn't a healthy thing to sever the chord. Try to wait a few weeks before making any rash decisions. Make lists of pros and cons, make an effort to socialize and/or meet new people, and try to move beyond the initial sting before you make a decision that you may regret.
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Unread 06-28-2017, 04:17 PM   #8
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Default Re: I just want him back

Why don't you continue giving him space (within reason) and don't contact him unless he contacts you first. After some time has passed, sit down and have a heart-to-heart with him about where the both of you are going? Best wishes.
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Unread 06-29-2017, 07:33 PM   #9
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Default Re: I just want him back

Hey friend, it might be difficult for you to wait but just as you said he needs space, so give him some space, some time.. this is good in relationships. Its healthy.
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Unread 06-30-2017, 08:20 AM   #10
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Default Re: I just want him back

its just all literally killing me. as a time line we've been together almost 9 years. we've been broken up three weeks, and i have NC him for a week. its literally killing me inside. i cry everyday. my heart literally races from the time i wake until i try to sleep. i cant sleep more than a few hours. i wake up in a panic everyday. i constantly wonder what he's doing or thinking or if he misses. every sound my phone make i jump because i think its going to be him. i try to do things to get out and distract myself but nothing works. i talk to my friends and they all say " screw him" in every way possible but i can't turn off my feelings. i just want him to call me and for us to talk things out. because i can't go on living this way. and no matter i do my feelings don't change. i don't want to feel like this, i wish i could just turn off my feelings and get on wth my life but i can't. no contact is killing me because i just want to know whats going with him, what he's thinking and if he misses me yet. last time i did speak to him he did say he does miss me, but still wants to make himself happy, before he can make me happy. but i just don't get why we can't work through it together. i know what my flaws in our relationship are and were, and i take responibility to change them, and i told him this and he says he still just doesn't know.
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