Letting go - Page 3 - Forums at Psych Central


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Old 03-20-2019, 05:39 AM #21
Zararose Zararose is offline
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Default Re: Letting go

On another note, he and his mum believe what the Christchurch shooter said about foreigners taking over and thinks immigration should stop. He's said once that white people were the superior race. Thats only half of it. He kind of says it jokingly but why joke about that?? Not to mention he wants to move closer to his family town of 1-2k people (most likely forever) where I would be 3 hours away from mine 😔. I asked him what would happen if I didn't want to move. He said jokingly that wasn't an answer he could comprehend. We drove around looking at land in the area and he kept asking 'could you live here?'. This would be such a huge move for me. Especially because he would want to settle down there forever.
I'm concerned about our future together. I would be absolutely horrified if my child grew up with that mentality about other cultures. Having kids and marriage is a whole other issue between us again.

Sorry again to put this on everyone but this is the only place i can talk about this.
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Old 03-20-2019, 07:28 AM #22
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Default Re: Letting go

I remember once one of his friends sent him a selfie right after she had just slept with someone. She was in bed naked but the covers were up and she was showing off to him that she had just slept with someone. He showed me and I got upset but he shrugged it off like he had done nothing wrong.
There were a number of concerning pictures this particular girl sent him, but also because he thought it was all fine.

Maybe thats why I question his females friends because of the exchanges they had and the fact he thought it was fine? Is he still having these exchanges but just not showing me anymore because he knows now I'll get upset? How is he retaliating when I'm not around?

I haven't heard from her in ages but I know she got a boyfriend so maybe that's why
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Old 03-20-2019, 09:18 AM #23
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Default Re: Letting go

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zararose View Post
I'm concerned about our future together. I would be absolutely horrified if my child grew up with that mentality about other cultures. Having kids and marriage is a whole other issue between us again.
You two are talking about moving, marriage, and kids while all of this other stuff is happening? Do you see all of these questions of yours as red flags?

I may have missed it, but have you told him how it makes you feel that he is communicating with all of these other women like he is? Where is your boundary here?
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Old 03-29-2019, 09:36 PM #24
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Default Re: Letting go

So you are considering moving, marrying and having children with a bigot, selfish, cruel and inconsiderate, inappropriate jerk. He shows you all these pictures because he knows it upsets you. And he thinks itís funny to say that whites are superior race. I bet he sleeps around too or at least contemplated.

I hope you donít have unprotected sex with this man. He is not safe.
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Old 03-30-2019, 02:10 AM #25
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Default Re: Letting go

Just because a person is extroverted with the opposite sex, and/or tends to be immature in their views of other cultures...doesn't mean they are having sex outside of their 'relationship'. And even if this person is a 'jerk' this doesn't also mean they are stupid.

I wouldn't want to be with a person who didn't want to be with me...and I most certainly wouldn't want to be with a person who would condemn me simply because of something I may be thinking. We can't make people be good...and we can't make people be happy...and we most certainly can't tell people to love us, or what to think.
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