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Old 02-22-2019, 12:45 PM   #201
CrystalGirlx
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Default Re: Husband Walked Out

Just my two cents. I haven't read all of the comments but your husband sounds abusive and you would be better off without him in your life. My ex had mental issues, and was abusive. He did something very similar to what you described. He was obsessed with the idea I was a pathological liar and freaked over a Facebook post. I had put birthday flowers instead of saying he gave me flowers after a horrible fight where he called the police on me. He stormed out in the middle of dinner saying he doesn't like "liars". He didn't return until hours later drunk and tried to physically drag me out of the house.

The abuse escalated. I finally left.
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Old 02-22-2019, 07:21 PM   #202
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HowDoYouFeelMeow? View Post
and you certainly don’t deserve his response. You do deserve a mature, supportive partner who is willing to hear your side of an important conversation without walking out or improperly projecting blame.
Well said! I don't think you are pushing him at all, Doglover. In fact, you are being an absolute sweetheart by making him dinner, trying to have a conversation with him, etc. (You are better than me, I don't think I could find grace in my heart to make dinner for someone like that!)

And if he really wanted space, he could spend a night at his buddy's. But he comes home every night, and shows off to you that he is ignoring you by sleeping right next to you with his back turned to you (again, passive-aggressive).

But to second what Open Eyes said, please make sure you get some sleep, eat well, and take care of yourself so you can have the strength to approach this challenge.
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Old 02-22-2019, 07:47 PM   #203
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“There is no point in being in a relationship that is not mutually beneficial.”

My best friend just said to me.
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Old 02-22-2019, 07:49 PM   #204
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Woah.....his comment about that not being cheating would be a HUGE red flag for me. What exactly does he define cheating as? If he doesn't think that is cheating is he doing that in your own marriage because he chooses NOT to define it as cheating so it's ok? If he were my H no matter how short of time we were married he would have some serious answering to do.

Sounds like you are both on different pages when it comes to the definition of fidelity in a marriage. Something that should have been resolved before marriage but since it wasn't it needs to be settled NOW.

You probably could have handled the situation better if you hadn't become emotional BUT no matter what, there is a serious definition problem that needs to be resolved.

He walked out on you for that....I think the comment on cheating was the problem not your emotional outburst. If he had just respected your question & answered you instead of becoming defensive it never would have escalated to that point. There is something seriously WRONG with this picture that needs a resolution. Don't let it be the elephant in the room that no one talks about.....or it will haunt you the rest of your marriage.
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Old 02-23-2019, 05:53 AM   #205
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Well said! I don't think you are pushing him at all, Doglover. In fact, you are being an absolute sweetheart by making him dinner, trying to have a conversation with him, etc. (You are better than me, I don't think I could find grace in my heart to make dinner for someone like that!)

And if he really wanted space, he could spend a night at his buddy's. But he comes home every night, and shows off to you that he is ignoring you by sleeping right next to you with his back turned to you (again, passive-aggressive).

But to second what Open Eyes said, please make sure you get some sleep, eat well, and take care of yourself so you can have the strength to approach this challenge.
I had another ex that would do that. Instead of talking to me, he would just...storm out. Sometimes he would be gone for the entire night. I later found out he had been having an affair. Your husband's actions sound very suspicious to me. Emotionally healthy people do not just "storm out" over things like this or give you the silent treatment. He IS ABUSING YOU. There is no reason to be sleeping next to someone that isn't your spouse and the fact that he felt so strongly about this is bizarre.
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Old 02-23-2019, 09:28 AM   #206
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Well I would never accept my husband sleeping in even the same room as another woman let alone sharing a bed.

Your description of his phrasing however brings me to wonder about the nature of your relationship and past arguments. If this is not the first discussion, and ensuing argument, about cheating I do in fact see cause for him to walk away in frustration. I would really then need to know the history between you two to pass a real judgement on this. What previous actions and situations have arisen causing similar discussions?
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Old 02-24-2019, 06:15 PM   #207
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover View Post
Woah.....his comment about that not being cheating would be a HUGE red flag for me. What exactly does he define cheating as? If he doesn't think that is cheating is he doing that in your own marriage because he chooses NOT to define it as cheating so it's ok? If he were my H no matter how short of time we were married he would have some serious answering to do.

Sounds like you are both on different pages when it comes to the definition of fidelity in a marriage. Something that should have been resolved before marriage but since it wasn't it needs to be settled NOW.

You probably could have handled the situation better if you hadn't become emotional BUT no matter what, there is a serious definition problem that needs to be resolved.

He walked out on you for that....I think the comment on cheating was the problem not your emotional outburst. If he had just respected your question & answered you instead of becoming defensive it never would have escalated to that point. There is something seriously WRONG with this picture that needs a resolution. Don't let it be the elephant in the room that no one talks about.....or it will haunt you the rest of your marriage.

My take on it, from personal experience with being cheated on, tells me that when they get angry over the whole "cheating" issue, means that they are doing something elsewhere.
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Old 02-25-2019, 07:32 PM   #208
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Mmhmmm...thou doeth protest too loudly...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Medusax View Post
My take on it, from personal experience with being cheated on, tells me that when they get angry over the whole "cheating" issue, means that they are doing something elsewhere.
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Old 02-26-2019, 12:10 AM   #209
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TV is TV and reality is reality. On TV what starts innocent will not stay that way, that is just how TV works. Real life is different. I had a visitor not long time ago and we slept in the same room even if they are working on a relationship. I have slept in the same bed for practical reasons with my best friend, and she is in a long term relationship. It's absolutely not sexual at all having her snoring in my ear.

But on TV they put in hints and stuff. And have girls sleep in see through clothes, which no one uses IRL, hopefully.
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Old 02-26-2019, 10:45 AM   #210
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One can qualify their definition rationally without having to storm off. After all....marriage is all about communicating
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