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Old 02-17-2019, 10:44 AM #1
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Unhappy Controlling after fight

Had a fight with my bf..he got upset with something I said and wanted space. Well I started feeling anxious and I couldnít give him too much space which got out of hand. I started following him and trying to force him to talk, later we were texting and he almost broke it off with me. I am not sure why I do this but I am guessing itís anxiety and trying to be in control. Has anyone experienced this? Right now, he wants space so I wonít see him for a few days but we are communicating.
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Old 02-17-2019, 10:56 AM #2
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Default Re: Controlling after fight

my guy gets pissy when I hang out with other dudes. i ignore him till he calms. i never chase him when he acts like **** to me
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Old 02-17-2019, 11:01 AM #3
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Default Re: Controlling after fight

I havenít experienced what you describe but hereís some thoughts: when he asks for space give him the space he wants and needs. Let him come to you, donít force him to talk or communicate and donít follow him. Try to manage your anxiety yourself or with a therapist. The last thing you want to do is crowd someone when they want space. You need to respect their request and boundaries.
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Old 02-17-2019, 11:09 AM #4
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Default Re: Controlling after fight

I'm so sorry, Gymgirl71 I completely agree with bunnyhabit and golden_eve. If your boyfriend asks you to give him some space, give him some space. Sometimes we just need some time for ourselves to reflect on things. Forcing someone to listen to you is not a good idea. You may get the exact opposite results of what you truly want. Anxiety is certainly hard to deal with. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to deal with your anxiety. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you and your boyfriend. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
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Old 02-17-2019, 12:25 PM #5
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Default Re: Controlling after fight

Quote:
Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky View Post
I'm so sorry, Gymgirl71 I completely agree with bunnyhabit and golden_eve. If your boyfriend asks you to give him some space, give him some space. Sometimes we just need some time for ourselves to reflect on things. Forcing someone to listen to you is not a good idea. You may get the exact opposite results of what you truly want. Anxiety is certainly hard to deal with. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to deal with your anxiety. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you and your boyfriend. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
I am having a hard time dealing because he told me he had a wild night drinking..sent me a picture of his alcohol bottle and of course my mind wandered..itís trust I know
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Old 02-17-2019, 01:57 PM #6
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Default Re: Controlling after fight

Has he given you reasons to not trust him?
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Old 02-17-2019, 02:02 PM #7
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Default Re: Controlling after fight

Wild night drinking? Hmm Why sending you pics of s bottle? Was he out partying? While requesting space? Thatís concerning
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Old 02-17-2019, 06:37 PM #8
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Default Re: Controlling after fight

Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Wild night drinking? Hmm Why sending you pics of s bottle? Was he out partying? While requesting space? Thatís concerning
Yes. These issues are far more concerning than him merely wanting space.

Do you follow him around because you don't trust him?
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Old 02-18-2019, 03:38 AM #9
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Default Re: Controlling after fight

Did you ask for space or did he? I think I am confused. No matter who did sometimes that fear of abandonment kicks in and it feels like taking space or giving it is impossible.
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Old 02-18-2019, 05:11 AM #10
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Default Re: Controlling after fight

I agree with all the others, Gymgirl71. That sounds really concerning. Does this happen often? Be careful. Stay safe and take care of yourself. I hope you'll feel better soon. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
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