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Old 02-08-2019, 06:13 PM   #11
healingme4me
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I do find it curious that he'd share this with you. To be played is a complex thing, in my opinion. It's like being backburnered and kept at a distance all the while feeding the need for emotional connection. It's like getting the best of all worlds for him while at the same time getting the best of none. If that makes sense?
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Old 02-08-2019, 10:58 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
It sounds like this man is lonely and his CL relationship doesn't really provide actual companionship for him. It could very well be that he is just drawn to women that he experiences some companionship with. It's a challenge in that a common law relationship can still allow the partner to take a lot of money and materialistic things and even can end up taking a portion of his retirement were he has to pay alimoney to support her.
I really want to be his companion, but I'm just finding out that I don not think that will EVER happen, due to the "common law" issues where he lives. This is sooooo sad because we (he and I), are so good FOR each other, TO each other and would make a great couple for life.
He isn't going to leave his CL for me, period, due to financial reasons.

SAD
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Old 02-09-2019, 12:30 AM   #13
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He basically wants to cheat on his partner- nothing more to say.
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Old 02-12-2019, 12:05 AM   #14
Buffy72
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Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me View Post
I do find it curious that he'd share this with you. To be played is a complex thing, in my opinion. It's like being backburnered and kept at a distance all the while feeding the need for emotional connection. It's like getting the best of all worlds for him while at the same time getting the best of none. If that makes sense?
Yes, that makes sense to me.
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Old 02-12-2019, 12:09 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by Buffy72 View Post
I really want to be his companion, but I'm just finding out that I don not think that will EVER happen, due to the "common law" issues where he lives. This is sooooo sad because we (he and I), are so good FOR each other, TO each other and would make a great couple for life.
He isn't going to leave his CL for me, period, due to financial reasons.

SAD
well if it makes you feel any better, if he were to leave his current mate for you, don't you think it implies he would likely do the same when he tired of you too? He likely isn't nearly as "good for you" as you might think.
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Old 02-12-2019, 12:34 PM   #16
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You might think he is good for you but he also expressing interest in
that wealthy widow and has audacity to tell you that. Plus he apparently stays in common law because of money. So who knows what he thinks and whatís his agenda. Sounds materiastic and dishonest to me. A man living off women and looking for sugar mommas isnít a decent person.
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Old 02-15-2019, 06:43 PM   #17
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Has anyone experienced this issue?

I have known a gentleman for 50 years.
He and I became close friends after I divorced in 2003.
He was in a common-law situation at that time, but was considering leaving that relationship and dating me. Turned out that he did not move forward with me and remained with his CL woman.
Heís still with this woman today.
BUT, he still wants to be more than friends with me.
Yesterday, I found out that he is interested in a woman who just lost her husband from Alzheimerís.
WTH? WTF?
This woman in which he is interested in is very wealthy.
Iím not wealthy but a simple person that loves life and non-materialism.
He lives beyond his means, but is wealthy, too.

My question is this....

Should I still be friends with this man, or is this my clue that he is just playing me?
Man, Iím really upset about this situation.
I feel like an idiot!

Thoughts?
It sound like he is playing with your emotions. He sound like a cheater and will probably cheated on you as well. I would dump him.
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Old 02-16-2019, 04:24 AM   #18
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Just a quick question.

Where did you hear this from? Did he state these words to you directly or did someone else tell you? If it was the latter then you need to have a 1:1 conversation with him to figure out the truth.
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Old 02-16-2019, 03:25 PM   #19
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How are you doing, Buffy72? I hope you're doing ok. It's been a while since you logged in. I hope you'll come back soon. I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. Take it one step at the time. Take baby steps. Remember that you're stronger than you think. You've got this. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I know things seem pretty bad right now but trust me when I say that they can get better. Try to hang on. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. Stay strong, Buffy72. I hope things will get better soon for you. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
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