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Old 01-10-2019, 05:02 PM   #61
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I think both are wrong.

When either one of these things happens, I think it is time to end the relationship.

Good job seeing to that.
I agree that it time to leave this relationship.
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Old 01-10-2019, 05:04 PM   #62
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i think sexting is the same as cheating. In fact I think there can be non-sex romances online that border cheating. Maybe its because I am married that i feel this way.
I agree that it is cheating. That how it start with my brother cheating.
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Old 01-11-2019, 12:13 AM   #63
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I agree that it time to leave this relationship.

I already have.


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I agree that it is cheating. That how it start with my brother cheating.
In my situation I caught her BEFORE it got to the physical side. Either way she was cheating.
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Old 01-11-2019, 12:15 AM   #64
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It doesn't sound like she really cared about you or your feeling. It funny how the person who is being cheated on is always blame.


You're right, it is funny how they turn the blame onto the victim and never accept responsibility - classic move.


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I'm sorry that this has happened to you!
Thanks. Do you think I was right to have checked her phone due to her Whatsapping into the early hours of the morning when she'd claimed to have gone to bed?
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Old 01-11-2019, 10:24 AM   #65
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A lot of times partners play that game. They leave a trail of clues, you become suspicious that they're cheating, they angrily accuse you of having trust issues--and then it turns out they were cheating all along. I think you were right to check her phone, if you had reason to suspect, and it sounded like you did.

Yes, I think sexting with somebody else while in a committed relationship is cheating. I see you've already ended the relationship. Good move. It was the right thing to do.

Something similar happened to my husband with his last girlfriend before he married me. He had two vehicles, a car and a pickup. She had borrowed his pickup, supposedly to go on a "ladies' night out" with friends. Later, driving his car, he happened by chance to pass a motel, and noticed his pickup parked out front of it. He investigated, and found her there with an old boyfriend. (Doesn't that sound like something out of a country song?) Well, there she was, caught, but all she could do was get angry. At him, for supposedly trying to control her, and at the motel clerk for "violating her privacy" by telling him what room she was in. Hey, he had a right to know what she was using his pickup truck to do! But prime example of blaming everybody except herself for the consequences of her actions. Needless to say, the relationship was over, and I'm the one he married.
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Old 01-13-2019, 05:04 AM   #66
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A lot of times partners play that game. They leave a trail of clues, you become suspicious that they're cheating, they angrily accuse you of having trust issues--and then it turns out they were cheating all along. I think you were right to check her phone, if you had reason to suspect, and it sounded like you did.

Yes, I think sexting with somebody else while in a committed relationship is cheating. I see you've already ended the relationship. Good move. It was the right thing to do.


She made it so obvious (to me) that she was up to something. Her Whatsapp 'last seen' times kept changing regularly into the small hours of the morning and I knew she was using it as when I asked her ages ago why she was online so early, she said she hadn't and that it was the automatic backup doing its stuff!!


This is the first time that I've been cheated on and I already feel wise enough to have known the signs to look for in regards to cheating.
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Old 01-13-2019, 05:06 AM   #67
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Default Re: Girlfriend sexted a guy she knew from a dating site: Is it cheating?

UPDATE:

Ok, so two nights ago I got a text out of the blue from my ex saying "Can't we still be on talking terms?" I responded yes sure and then she responded stating once again that she 'didn't cheat and that she didn't do anything'.

What would you make of it, is she trying to get back with me?
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Old 01-13-2019, 05:51 AM   #68
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UPDATE:

Ok, so two nights ago I got a text out of the blue from my ex saying "Can't we still be on talking terms?" I responded yes sure and then she responded stating once again that she 'didn't cheat and that she didn't do anything'.

What would you make of it, is she trying to get back with me?
I could be wrong, but it sounds to me like she's trying to be sneaky. Give her an inch and she'll take a mile, as the saying goes.

My ex-husband used to play that game. He'd ask for tiny little concessions that if I refused, I'd look unreasonable, and then slowly those tiny little concessions pushed the envelope more and more. We'd end our relationship, agree to a divorce, and he'd leave. After that, it would start with "hello." I mean, I can't refuse to say "hello" back, can I? How rude would that be? Gradually it would build up to a short conversation, then a longer one, then meeting for a cup of coffee somewhere.... to talk about the kids, of course. They're his kids too. How can I deny him that? Once I'm comfortable with meeting him elsewhere, soon he's wanting to come over and watch TV together. As he leaves to go home, oh, come on, just *one* little kiss. Next comes spending the night.... Before I know it, we're back together as a couple, just like we never separated, and I'm wondering how the heck he managed to snake his way back in.

Eventually I realized I can't be "just friends" with him. He doesn't respect boundaries or take no for an answer. Everything I permitted, he'd push for more and more. The only way to keep him out of my life is to keep him completely *out* of my life. We have two grown kids together, but nowadays he doesn't even know where I live, or what kind of car I drive, or my phone number, or anything about me.

The fact that once your ex received permission to speak to you, the FIRST thing she wanted to do was deny all wrongdoing and absolve herself of any responsibility is a big red flag to me. You'd feel rude if you don't answer her texts, which will grow more and more frequent, until... well, you get the picture.
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Old 01-13-2019, 06:17 AM   #69
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Default Re: Girlfriend sexted a guy she knew from a dating site: Is it cheating?

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UPDATE:

Ok, so two nights ago I got a text out of the blue from my ex saying "Can't we still be on talking terms?" I responded yes sure and then she responded stating once again that she 'didn't cheat and that she didn't do anything'.

What would you make of it, is she trying to get back with me?
If it was a serious relationship maybe you need to clear the air over coffee.

Yes I think she had an emotional affair but (Iím playing devils advocate) maybe she didnít see it as emotional cheating at the time and there would need to be ground rules set in place.

That or block her on your phone and move on
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Old 01-13-2019, 06:19 AM   #70
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Default Re: Girlfriend sexted a guy she knew from a dating site: Is it cheating?

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I could be wrong, but it sounds to me like she's trying to be sneaky. Give her an inch and she'll take a mile, as the saying goes.

I think you could be right. There is some motive behind her messages, for which I'm not entirely sure what that is yet.


Did you mean she's trying to be sneaky by possibly worming her way back in?

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The fact that once your ex received permission to speak to you, the FIRST thing she wanted to do was deny all wrongdoing and absolve herself of any responsibility is a big red flag to me. You'd feel rude if you don't answer her texts, which will grow more and more frequent, until... well, you get the picture.


I know exactly what you mean and what starts as an innocent 'hello' could turn into a relationship before time once again ultimately as you rightly said.
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