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Old 12-12-2018, 10:11 PM   #1
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Default Would you tell?

My daughter and her friend were over tonight when my girlfriend called. My girlfriend is down with the flu and needed some consolation. My daughter's friend told me she learned some techniques in her psych class 101 and advised me to tell my friend that I too had the flu and I was nauseous, with fever, etc. This sounded strange to me because 1) I don't have the flu and 2) why would I lie to my friend saying I had it??


My question to anyone out there is, would you lie to your friend and tell her you had the flu to allegedly make her feel better? Would she feel better if I had the flu?


I'm not comfortable lying.
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Old 12-12-2018, 10:19 PM   #2
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Default Re: Would you tell?

No, I would not lie. I would empathize about how awful it is to have the flu and offer whatever appropriate assistance you can give.

I believe being genuine is of more value in supporting your friend than having them think you are in the same boat as them. I have no clue what your daughter's friend learnt. When I was in college and taking those 101 level classes, we didn't learn techniques rather a high level overview of the common theories in psychological development.
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Old 12-12-2018, 11:17 PM   #3
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This sounds like someone misunderstood what mirroring is
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Old 12-12-2018, 11:23 PM   #4
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Default Re: Would you tell?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elio View Post
No, I would not lie. I would empathize about how awful it is to have the flu and offer whatever appropriate assistance you can give.

I believe being genuine is of more value in supporting your friend than having them think you are in the same boat as them. I have no clue what your daughter's friend learnt. When I was in college and taking those 101 level classes, we didn't learn techniques rather a high level overview of the common theories in psychological development.

I like your response Elio. My daughter's friend may have been working on some report or idea of her own. My own teachings were more like yours. I'm not going to lie. I'm sure my friend would immediately know that I was making it up.
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Old 12-12-2018, 11:27 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by growlycat View Post
This sounds like someone misunderstood what mirroring is

Is mirroring repeating back the same words said to you? Isn't that an odd thing to do to someone? Wouldn't they notice it? I know I would.
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Old 12-12-2018, 11:41 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cara8tz View Post
Is mirroring repeating back the same words said to you? Isn't that an odd thing to do to someone? Wouldn't they notice it? I know I would.
She definitely has it wrong!!

Here is the Wikipedia definition as it relates to psychology
Mirroring (psychology - Wikipedia)
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Old 12-12-2018, 11:51 PM   #7
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I would not lie.
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Old 12-13-2018, 07:24 AM   #8
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Default Re: Would you tell?

No, that doesn't make any sense to me. Imagine you'd call someone with the flu and they told you they're sick too. You'd probably think you're bothering them or worry about them, you'd most probably not feel like it's nice you're sharing this experience with one of your friends...

I'd listen and talk to the friend, show some compassion. Being sick in bed can be lonely, having a few minutes of talking to somebody sounds like a nice thing in that situation.

Btw, when you repeat the exact words of somebody back, it's usually called parroting. It can be irritating to some people, others feel like the person repeating is listening attentively and it can be sort of comforting.
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Old 12-13-2018, 07:31 AM   #9
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Default Re: Would you tell?

I would not lie about having the flu, i'd try and help if i could.
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Old 12-13-2018, 07:33 AM   #10
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Nnnno....
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