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Old 12-09-2018, 09:09 AM   #11
MickeyCheeky
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I'm sorry you're struggling, roxannejones Is there any reason you know of why shey may be setting up these boundaries? Either way, if she does not want contact with you, I'm sorry to say it, but all you can really do is respect her wishes. I hope that doesn't bother you too much, was she a friend of yours? I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
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Old 12-09-2018, 07:50 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
What prompted such strict boundaries? Did you bother her before? If she asks you not to talk, why do you? Can you try to stop? Are you in therapy?
I agree with divine1966. I don't feel that I have complete information about the history to understand her reasoning...and there may not even be one personally against you. If it seems completely out of the blue, it is possible that:

a). Your group leader was harassed by someone else and decided to set new boundaries for everyone.

b). Another group leader was harassed in the church and the church has set a new policy for boundaries.

I mean, these are only speculations...sometimes you think someone is mad at you but it has nothing to do with you and has more to do with what's going on in her personal life.

If you feel that her behavior was something personal against you (like she's very friendly with everyone else), then try to think back at the times she was giving you gentle clues about boundaries. This may be the first time that she explicitly set boundaries with you.

But whatever the reason may be, it is not worth your time and energy trying to be close with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you. Just pursue friendships that are mutual, where people appreciate and honor your good traits.

Last edited by ennie; 12-09-2018 at 10:24 PM.. Reason: clarity
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Old 12-10-2018, 10:28 AM   #13
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The person who seems to be unaware of boundaries is the OP, not the group leader. The leader is very clear and it seems from the boundaries drawn that the OP has been making the leader uncomfortable and using the small group as an opportunity to be close to and be in contact with the leader.

I agree the pastor should be brought in, but unfortunately for OP it may end up that OP might not be allowed to attend the group any more if she doesn't respect the leader's boundaries.
I respectfully disagree, and specifically because it is a religious group. But that's ok, all of our comments should be in support of the person who made the original post.

The pastor should be made aware that such ridiculous strictures are being put in place.
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Old 12-10-2018, 03:00 PM   #14
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I respectfully disagree, and specifically because it is a religious group. But that's ok, all of our comments should be in support of the person who made the original post.

The pastor should be made aware that such ridiculous strictures are being put in place.
I agree with IceCreamKid that our comment should be in support of the person who made the original post. We should always give people the benefit of doubt. It's okay to ask questions, but we should not jump to conclusions because we don't know the whole story or even know the person who is posting on here.

Last edited by ennie; 12-10-2018 at 03:01 PM.. Reason: add group hug
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