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Old 12-04-2018, 07:34 PM   #21
DechanDawa
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My extended family does not exchange gifts - but we do get together for a wonderful holiday. There are a lot of traditions in my extended family so we don't get caught up in which religion we should be observing. Instead we gather together to celebrate family.

I have had my nose out of joint in years past when my children have chosen to spend the holiday with their father (and even some years with their step father). I just won't rant about that again. I will take whatever I will get of their time and not waste valuable energy on it.

I do want to comment though on the giving of greeting cards. I was raised on this. I was also raised on writing thank you notes. Both now seem lost arts - and it is a shame. I chalk this up to yet another failure to teach our children etiquette. Again, a real shame.

There was a time when I sent out dozens. Last year I reduced it again - each with a lovely personalised hand written note - to about a dozen. I got only one in return. All it had was my name on it.

I know that most out there will entirely disagree with me but I feel I must comment on what has become the replacement - the block email greeting. Just don't send me one. They are crass, totally impersonal, and (sorry) lazy. I have thought if you can't be bothered to write me a personal greeting then don't bother at all.

also cringe worthy? The lengthy family diary full of far too much personal information.







Ah, I just had to reply to this. When I was a child the card exchange was one of my favorite traditions. I guess my parents were pretty popular in the community and with work because we go hundreds of cards. Every closet door in the house was filled with cards. I was an arts and crafts child so I loved the cards which later my mother let me use to cut up for art projects like bookmarks and stuff.


For awhile, as an adult, I still got a lot of cards but over the years it has dwindled.


When I see all the beautiful boxes of cards in the stores I really wonder who is buying them.


Email generic crowd greetings? Sheez, they should be banned.


The Christmas diaries used to be a big tradition. I never did that but my ex and I used to get a lot of them. We would read them aloud and make fun of them. We also made fun of photos people sent with a few hundred of their relatives.



I think last year I got two cards. Another nice tradition dies.
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Old 12-06-2018, 09:41 AM   #22
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Default Re: One way Xmas gifts and cards...

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....When I see all the beautiful boxes of cards in the stores I really wonder who is buying them.

....The Christmas diaries used to be a big tradition. I never did that but my ex and I used to get a lot of them. We would read them aloud and make fun of them. We also made fun of photos people sent with a few hundred of their relatives.
I work at a large retailer where we are now selling boxed holiday greeting cards and rolls of stamps. Who is buying these? It seems to be the older crowd several generations back.

Regarding the family diaries, yes when I used to get these novels attached to cards, we have shared great laughter over many of these. I to my father, "Did you get so-in-so's card yet?" And we would have a chuckle because life for them was always perfect: the childen extraordinary with great prowess in everything, husband extremely successful, home life and activities unbelievably awesome, and lengthy in your face descriptions of lavish holiday's taken each year. Often these diaries have included far too much information - like their health concerns over the course of the year. Some of these are truly eyebrow raising. Sadly I haven't had one of these for several years.

Oh, in a spot of good news, I received my first greeting card yesterday. There is hope yet!
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Old 12-06-2018, 10:13 AM   #23
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Yeah, the Christmas letters are a strange tradition. They are a summary of the yearly news for that family who you haven’t really been involved with for the whole year, which is why you need the summary. I’ll bet Facebook replaced my those letters as now we see photos of everyone’s meals daily and all.

We received one Christmas letter once from a cousin. It was obnoxiously braggadocious.
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Old 12-06-2018, 11:07 AM   #24
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I'm sorry you're struggling, DechanDawa I don't think you have any obligation to send gifts card if it's hurting you. However the decision is up to you. You could even decide to just do something nice. Still, it's not very nice that you're not getting anything - even something small in return. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
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Old 12-06-2018, 03:44 PM   #25
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I'm sorry you're struggling, DechanDawa I don't think you have any obligation to send gifts card if it's hurting you. However the decision is up to you. You could even decide to just do something nice. Still, it's not very nice that you're not getting anything - even something small in return. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.







Well, I didn't mean it this way. I don't get as many cards because people don't send as many cards.


It's not hurting me. I am sorry if I gave that impression.


I don't put that much stock in the holiday. I was just asking what others did.
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Old 12-06-2018, 03:48 PM   #26
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Yeah, the Christmas letters are a strange tradition. They are a summary of the yearly news for that family who you haven’t really been involved with for the whole year, which is why you need the summary. I’ll bet Facebook replaced my those letters as now we see photos of everyone’s meals daily and all.

We received one Christmas letter once from a cousin. It was obnoxiously braggadocious.





We received one Christmas letter once from a cousin. It was obnoxiously braggadocious.

Well, yes, that's my point. Besides, I never understood the once a year "catch up" when there was no involvement the year through.
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Old 12-06-2018, 03:55 PM   #27
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I think I kind of gave the wrong impression.


It isn't that I do not get anything. It is more that...I have decided to eliminate those who are not reciprocating.



As I said earlier I have one brother who sends me gifts throughout the year...they are small...often handmade (either by him or his many artist friends)...and well, he has such a wonderful spirit of generosity...he is very inspiring.


My son always sends a lavish box of beautiful gifts, including handmade. Not a big expensive thing...but put together with great care.


Finally, my childhood friend sends...treasures. And beautiful cards. And I do the same with her.


The biggest Chirstmas elf was my sister...who died three years ago. She was awesome, creative, generous of spirit. I do miss her a lot.


As far as the grinches...I have decided to eliminate them...and that's what this thread was about. Others have shared the opinion that giving should not be based on reciprocity but I guess I just don't agree with this. Especially during a year when my finances are tight.
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Old 12-06-2018, 03:56 PM   #28
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Default Re: One way Xmas gifts and cards...

There’s a commercial on TV now. It shows an isolated, lonely grandpa and he gets in the mail a handmade Christmas card from his grandchild. Then he smiles.

But I’m thinking “Why couldn’t they see him in person?” The commercial upsets me a little.
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Old 12-06-2018, 04:05 PM   #29
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There’s a commercial on TV now. It shows an isolated, lonely grandpa and he gets in the mail a handmade Christmas card from his grandchild. Then he smiles.

But I’m thinking “Why couldn’t they see him in person?” The commercial upsets me a little.







Wow, I am so glad I don't have television. I am sure ALL the commercials would upset me.
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Old 12-09-2018, 08:14 PM   #30
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Do you send (give) gifts and cards to people who never reciprocate? I send one brother gifts at Xmas but he never sends me any back. However, throughout the year he sends me little gifts...so I think it is a balance.


I send another brother and his wife Xmas cards and gifts and he has NEVER reciprocated so I am trying to take him off my list.


It doesn't seem healthy to have a one-way exchange and I am trying to change.


How about you? What do you think?
It depends. But if it makes you feel sad, you don't have to keep sending. I'm so sorry to hear abut this.
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