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Old 09-13-2018, 06:31 PM   #21
downandlonely
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Default Re: Online harassment and how to handle it

I agree. Unless you think there is a possibility of more than friendship, don't accept the requests.
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Old 09-14-2018, 04:04 AM   #22
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Default Re: Online harassment and how to handle it

Well you can't possibly know that unless you have talked for a while, just looking at a picture isn't enough for me, and I have sexuality issues anyway, so I am best just not accepting them.


If I know the person and they are fine with friends that is different, but not for strangers.
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Old 09-14-2018, 12:05 PM   #23
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Default Re: Online harassment and how to handle it

The attention grows old, really fast when it's at a superficial level. At least it does, for me. After enough attention, it becomes easier and less complex to sift through intention. As cliche as it is on paper, commanding respect truly is about believing in your self worth.
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Old 09-14-2018, 12:42 PM   #24
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Default Re: Online harassment and how to handle it

Yeah I have self worth issues, no doubt about it.


I'm not interested in meeting anyone online anyway, as I keep telling them, it is very superficial. This guy I am talking about appears to have views on certain things very different to mine so we're not compatible; he has just seen a photo and decided I am worth chasing. Am no oil painting but have deleted the photos of myself since then just in case. Maybe if you post a photo of yourself men think you are after someone? I don't know. I am not posing half naked or anything. Maybe just having the right genitals is enough for some guys online.
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Old 09-14-2018, 02:19 PM   #25
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Default Re: Online harassment and how to handle it

What is the "chatting" vehicle you refer to ? FB , chess club , antique cars forum ? The place you chat will possibly makes a difference on who you meet there and what their agenda is , hidden or otherwise .

And yes ..you being a female alone is def enough for a proportion of guys to pursue you . Guys all have a portion of that in them . It's there to ensure the continuation of the species . Some guys are better at controlling that urge than others .

Was it Einstein who said that madness was continually doing something the same over and over and expecting a different result ?

If that's happening to you and you wish for a different result , then you have to change your method . Be that posting a pic of Kim Jong Un instead of your own , or posting no picture at all , or just telling it like it is regardless of people's feelings . Or not speaking to a section of the population who are likely to want more than you seek . We all have to take responsibility for our own actions in the end .
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Old 09-14-2018, 06:45 PM   #26
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I really see no need to continue talking to total strangers online if these conversations bring so much frustration. You donít know them and they donít know you. It should be fairly easy to stop conversing with them.
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Old 09-14-2018, 07:27 PM   #27
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Default Re: Online harassment and how to handle it

Quote:
Originally Posted by romantic rose View Post
Yeah I have self worth issues, no doubt about it.


I'm not interested in meeting anyone online anyway, as I keep telling them, it is very superficial. This guy I am talking about appears to have views on certain things very different to mine so we're not compatible; he has just seen a photo and decided I am worth chasing. Am no oil painting but have deleted the photos of myself since then just in case. Maybe if you post a photo of yourself men think you are after someone? I don't know. I am not posing half naked or anything. Maybe just having the right genitals is enough for some guys online.
I hear you. On a superficial level even a photo of a new haircut or random selfie can seem like some type of signal of approachability.

Do you get anything out of accepting these requests for being on your page? I'm even conscious of those I know or have known through the years. I don't have time for the bs petty pleasantries. A 'friendship' even with an ounce of curiosity better run deep and have some depth and conversational meritocracy.

Nothing horrible, per se, in accepting their requests, if they aren't what you are looking for, they aren't what you are looking for. And if whatever platform you are using isn't working, then change how you do it. If these guys are seeming like hurt puppies in need of compassion or pity then it's a matter of asking why that is.
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Old 09-15-2018, 10:56 AM   #28
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Default Re: Online harassment and how to handle it

It's Facebook. I don't get anything out of accepting these requests. I feel bad when I don't respond to them though, like it's a bit rude. Is it normal just to ignore requests? I seem to think it will annoy people if I don't respond.


Yeah the conversation is not very deep with most of them. It tends to revolve around sex as soon as you speak to them.


Maybe Kim Jong Un is a good idea for a profile picture, I don't have any pictures of myself now and my current picture is of a dog. The friend requests have calmed down now and I won't accept any more from guys. So hopefully won't have any more to deal with.
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Old 09-15-2018, 11:02 AM   #29
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Why would it be rude to not respond to requests from strangers? You donít know these people. Most certainly itís normal to ignore requests from those you donít know. Maybe I am just not grasping the issue.
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Old 09-15-2018, 12:00 PM   #30
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I get friend requests all the time from men. They are nearly all these good looking men in military uniforms. I am suspicious if they are truly who their photo is. Yeah, hundreds of strapping officers are seeking me out. Iím thinking they are secretly con men looking to rob me or terrorists gaining something by accessing my account. Maybe theyíre really Russian spies looking to churn fake news. Who knows? I just ignore them.
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