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Old 04-29-2018, 04:02 PM   #1
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Default Another person randomly told me they loved me

Lol. This was a friend. She's not a close friend. But I think she wants to be. I like her and think she's nice though, also kind of...strange. but not strange enough that I'm running away I guess. We talked briefly on the phone today and when we were hanging up she was like, "ok I love you," and it happened so fast, I wasn't expecting it. I said "ok thank you, bye!" back, and hung up, LOL. I thought we were just hanging up. Lol. And she seemed to sneak it in quickly. Anywho, that happened today.
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Old 04-29-2018, 06:19 PM   #2
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LOL I have done that with some people before because that is what I always would say to my parents and still do my daughter...
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Old 04-29-2018, 06:35 PM   #3
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LOL I have done that with some people before because that is what I always would say to my parents and still do my daughter...
Hehe.
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Old 04-29-2018, 11:20 PM   #4
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Saying I love you comes very easily for some.. especially when its a person from a family that says it often and seemingly (to me) without much thought. Just very natural and easy. My fiances family is this way. My family and myself are NOT so it is difficult for me when my fiances family tells me they love me, not to mention someone I don't know as well! This is something I want to become more open and accepting to actually.
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Old 04-30-2018, 07:29 AM   #5
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Default Re: Another person randomly told me they loved me

So, I don't mind loving and being loved. I just...it shocked me. It really seemed like she just squeaked it in there at the end. Regardless of why she said it (I don't know her well enough to even guess, but she is not close with her family), it surprised me, I'm flattered, and I'm not gonna say it back.
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Old 04-30-2018, 07:38 AM   #6
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Default Re: Another person randomly told me they loved me

I know another person - my cousin's fiancÚ - who says "I love you." All. the. freaking. time. In a sense, it feels manipulative. Because she does not really show it in other ways. She's just very effusive at family parties and says "I love you!" when we text. I don't care for some of the things she does, but I say I love you back, sometimes, because it feels like...especially in person, it's a rejection if you don't say it back. That's why it feels manipulative.

Anyway, I guess I don't freely say I love you? Lol. I think I just have good boundaries, lol. I don't tell my neighbors, acquaintances, friends I want to get to know better, or people who I feel insecure around that I love them.

I do tell my mom I love her. Like all the time. Lol. I guess it's not a word I use freely with others. There is one female friend of mine I say "I love you!" to. Because its true, and she loves me back. I just don't use it freely. I find it inappropriate to do so with the people above I listed (acquaintances, neighbors, etc...)
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Old 04-30-2018, 11:36 AM   #7
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I am super uncomfortable with the words "I love you". I have no idea where it comes from but whenever someone drops that bomb on me it freaks me out. It is likewise difficult for me to say I love you in return (exception being my children) so when I say it it is purposeful and genuine.

I'm not sure what that has to do with your post. I'm in a rambling mood today. Lol. If it felt good, enjoy it. :-)
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Old 04-30-2018, 02:27 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by TheSadGirl View Post
I am super uncomfortable with the words "I love you". I have no idea where it comes from but whenever someone drops that bomb on me it freaks me out. It is likewise difficult for me to say I love you in return (exception being my children) so when I say it it is purposeful and genuine.

I'm not sure what that has to do with your post. I'm in a rambling mood today. Lol. If it felt good, enjoy it. :-)
Ramble away!

At first, when you said "I have no idea where it comes from," I thought you meant you have no idea where the words "I love you" come from. Which actually makes sense to me. Like, we say it to people. But really, to me, it's a form of close affection. It's "I care about you." It's "you matter to me," I just don't throw the word around I guess. There's a Native American or some sort of Indian culture that has no word for "I love you." Heard it on a podcast a long time ago. An anthropologist asked them how they expressed affection then, and care, and they were confused. They were like "you need words for that?"

Anywho, I guess we're all different when it comes to that kind of thing. Some people use it more freely that others, etc. I still feel uncomfortable with acquaintances saying it! (And friends who wish to be closer).
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Old 04-30-2018, 11:20 PM   #9
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Default Re: Another person randomly told me they loved me

I think I mostly only say it to my H, and a very elderly friend who has been very ill. I don't otherwise say it, although I do care deeply - actions are more important IMO.
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