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Old 04-26-2018, 07:14 PM   #21
divine1966
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My Mood: Boyfriend commenting on my body

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Default Re: Boyfriend commenting on my body

There are some cultures were women are forced fed so they get really big (Mauritania I think is one of them). And there are men who have certain fetish so they enjoy encouraging women to eat more and get heavy. “Feeders” I think. The whole thing is sad. Wanting women to look certain way, skinny or big. Objectifying them.
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Old 04-27-2018, 04:40 AM   #22
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I hate to just single out guys. But I was in a relationship where my being very thin was important to him. He didn’t tell me, but it became apparent.

It was important to him because while he was attractive, he secretly was a very insecure man. He needed a partner that looked a certain way - to boost his ego. Like arm candy.

We aren’t together anymore, lol.
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Old 04-27-2018, 03:33 PM   #23
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Default Re: Boyfriend commenting on my body

Quote:
Originally Posted by RainyDay107 View Post
I hate to just single out guys. But I was in a relationship where my being very thin was important to him. He didn’t tell me, but it became apparent.

It was important to him because while he was attractive, he secretly was a very insecure man. He needed a partner that looked a certain way - to boost his ego. Like arm candy.

We aren’t together anymore, lol.


Well I don't think you're being inaccurate by pointing out that guys do this and typically more often than women do. Ofc exceptions are always there but for the most part even as a guy I know this is true. Even in the best of cases men really do care about such things as this more than women do.
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Old 04-28-2018, 05:32 PM   #24
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Default Re: Boyfriend commenting on my body

When I got married, my friend said to me, “Now you can let yourself go.” I thought that was so naive of her and said I could never be confident enough in any relationship to do that. That expression is partly about gaining weight, but it also means how you dress, wear make up, becoming frumpy.

Your bf sounds very body conscious and is telling you that he expects you to be that way too. It hurts that he says that to you, but at least he’s honest.
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Old 04-28-2018, 11:08 PM   #25
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Default Re: Boyfriend commenting on my body

Thank you everyone. It's nice to know I'm not alone and I'm justified to feel a little hurt. He doesn't say these things maliciously. Ive started to get paranoid around his female friends, who I think have a physique more like his 'type'. He's never said I'm not sexy or beautiful or that he doesnt love me. Could it be my own mind concluding that he must not find me attractive if he's making these 'suggestions'? Could it be just him trying to give me constructive feedback about my appearance?
An ex used to tell me females should have curves (I have none) and that I should get 'more boobs and ***' . Another guy I dated said he didn't think fit gym girls were attractive. I get so lost with what I should like to please people. I've always enjoyed exercise.. But now I just feel pressured.
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Old 04-29-2018, 01:00 AM   #26
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Default Re: Boyfriend commenting on my body

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSadGirl View Post
I am sorry to hear that you feel you are the problem here. His comments are not acceptable. I would tell him how they make you feel. Perhaps he doesn't realize. Please do not think you have to change anything because of his rude behaviour.
I agree
You need to change because you want to change, not because anyone else wants to
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Old 04-29-2018, 08:43 AM   #27
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Default Re: Boyfriend commenting on my body

Ultimately you will be who you are. This bf may be too vain for you. See his comments as a red flag.
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