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Old 04-11-2018, 08:27 AM   #1
Falo
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Default Opinions on tattoo please

Good morning,

My gf had a great suggestion for a mutual gift. She already had a small tattoo of an eponymous flower and her suggestion was that we each get tattoos that showed our eternal love and commitment. I had already bought her an elaborate diamond ring and I was planning on being with her forever.

I got the tattoo and I am very proud of it. I wanted to show the commitment and it is very cool and it means a lot to me. It includes her name in writing.

I offered to pay for her to just have my name tattooed through or near her existing tattoo.

To date she has not done it. I've asked her why and she has said money or since it's forever she wants to make sure it's something really good.

It's been almost 4 years. It bothers me and I have used it in our arguments. Not nicely, I should add.

I can't let it go.

What do you think?
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Old 04-11-2018, 09:28 AM   #2
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I donít have tattoos and wouldnít get one of my life depended on it. Saying that, itís ok if other people get tattoos but you canít expect it from people. She changed her mind. Why, I donít know.

Tattooing other peopleís names on ones body is a tricky thing, as the concept of ďforeverĒ. My daughter is a widow, she loved her husband deeply. He passed. She grieved and now is in a new serious relationship. Having her late husbandís name on her body...might not be cool.

Iíd hate if my husband had his ex wiveís name on his body. You donít need a tattoo to show commitment. Now if your gf shows signs of not wanting to commit (not related to tattoos)then there might be more to all this.

You bought a ring and proposed? Did she say yes? Then are you engaged? If not was just a regular ring? Not sure how is purchase of a ring relates to tattoos?
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Old 04-11-2018, 10:06 AM   #3
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Is this a lady that verbally and physically abuse you? If thatís the one, tattoo or lack of it is the least of the problems here
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Old 04-11-2018, 10:34 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
I donít have tattoos and wouldnít get one of my life depended on it. Saying that, itís ok if other people get tattoos but you canít expect it from people. She changed her mind. Why, I donít know.

Tattooing other peopleís names on ones body is a tricky thing, as the concept of ďforeverĒ. My daughter is a widow, she loved her husband deeply. He passed. She grieved and now is in a new serious relationship. Having her late husbandís name on her body...might not be cool.

Iíd hate if my husband had his ex wiveís name on his body. You donít need a tattoo to show commitment. Now if your gf shows signs of not wanting to commit (not related to tattoos)then there might be more to all this.

You bought a ring and proposed? Did she say yes? Then are you engaged? If not was just a regular ring? Not sure how is purchase of a ring relates to tattoos?
These are excellent points. I can't say for sure if it is an engagement ring but as far as rings go, it is of that stature. The agreement seems tenuous now.
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Old 04-11-2018, 10:35 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Is this a lady that verbally and physically abuse you? If thatís the one, tattoo or lack of it is the least of the problems here

That's her. And I guess I was just looking for opinions on whether this is also a valid concern or am I nitpicking. Thanks for the reply!
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Old 04-11-2018, 11:43 AM   #6
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Me and my wife have been together for 13 years and we both got our first tattoo together. I would never get her name tattooed on my body because the way I see it (and I've seen it with a lot of couples) tend to breakup after getting them. May not have any correlation between the two, but I feel that getting each other's names tattooed is a kiss of death. (again, may not be true but it's an assumption I've made after seeing it happen to other).

There could be a lot of reasons she does not want to get a tattoo with your name on it. If I was her and you kept on pushing the issue I wouldn't do it just out of principle. But maybe she sees it as you wanting to brand her and claim her as your own. That's how I would see it. It's like having a permanent engagement ring and a way to tell someone that you are taken by someone else.

But again, there could be lots of reasons as to why she doesn't want to get your name tattooed on her body. To be fair, it is her body, not yours and she is not your property to force her to do so, and if she doesn't want to do it then she doesn't have to. If this is important to you I suggest you sit her down and talk to her about it.
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Old 04-11-2018, 12:07 PM   #7
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I am not sure what you mean, how do you not know if itís engagement? If itís just a ring, it means nothing. I have very expensive jewelry from my ex but we arenít together and weíre never engaged (although we were together for over 8 years), I still own and wear it, we parted amicably (I left but there was no drama) and I am married to someone else now. Itís jusg jewelry. What I am trying to say is just buying her a ring doesnít mean anything in terms of commitment
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Old 04-11-2018, 01:35 PM   #8
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If it's been 4 years, and you have offered to pay for tattooing your name on her body, I am guessing she does not want to do it.


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Old 04-11-2018, 01:44 PM   #9
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Default Re: Opinions on tattoo please

4 yrs is a long time to let something as trivial as a tattoo bother you. It should be clear the decision has been made but by the same token the fact that she's been with you 4 yrs should be a better gauge of her commitment to you than any ink under her skin.
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Old 04-11-2018, 01:48 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006 View Post
4 yrs is a long time to let something as trivial as a tattoo bother you. It should be clear the decision has been made but by the same token the fact that she's been with you 4 yrs should be a better gauge of her commitment to you than any ink under her skin.
I get what you are saying. It's the broken promise that has bothered me. She always says she's planning on doing it, but just hasn't gotten around to it. I can let it go. It really is trivial.

I will just use the tattoo I got as a reminder of foolish behavior.
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