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Old 04-11-2018, 06:50 AM   #11
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Default Re: His mom's own words???

I have two concerns about a joint confrontation.

1. She can still deny that she said it.

2. Calling her out in front of him has the potential to make her permanently hate you.
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Old 04-11-2018, 07:26 AM   #12
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Default Re: His mom's own words???

My ex’s mom warned me too, not right away either, probably as she grew fond of me and I “slipped” deeper and deeper into the relationship.

I didn’t heed her warning, thought that even if it was remotely true, our relationship was different.

I left the 5th year with bruised ribs and blue eyes.

His mom later called me, relieved I had finally left, but sad I waited.

My ex doesn’t see either of his daughters, (mine and another lady’s) not hard to see why.

My own mother?
She warned my brother’s fiancés both times that he’s not marriage material, that he’s basically a pretty bum... They thought she was meddling and married him anyway. He’s now twice divorced...

Dxd BP2 on the 04.06.2010
Dxd BPD and OCPD in 2011

"The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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Old 04-11-2018, 07:32 AM   #13
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Default Re: His mom's own words???

I think you’ve confirmed what she warned about is true. He did take money from his parents, he did have physical abuse with his ex, right?
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Old 04-11-2018, 08:10 AM   #14
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Default Re: His mom's own words???

The warning bells and spidey sense is going off.

Mother's tend to think quite highly and defensive of their sons. Thus, for your boyfriend's mom to speak in less than glowing terms - indeed to warn you - about him is truly something to take heed of. Now, there is a chance she is using such a tactic to split the two of you up because she isn't fond of you but many more ways to drive a wedge between the two of you come to mind. If this was the case there is no way your boyfriend would leave she and you alone together. No, I would then take her warnings seriously.
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Old 04-11-2018, 12:01 PM   #15
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Default Re: His mom's own words???

Thank you all so very much for all your responses!

I do know that he has gotten financial help from his parents in the past. I have not confirmed the physical abuse...I do not know his ex and I have never met her so the only indication of the abuse came from his mom. My bf claims that his ex is "a good woman and a wonderful mother but is a pathological liar." She left him after being together 5 years and having 2 I don't know...

His mom and I have had a really good relationship since we met. So she's either giving me a genuine warning...or is highly manipulative. But I really believe she is warning me because she was happy when we first met and glad that her son had found someone. Maybe she has some kind of guilt of not telling me sooner???

It does frighten me an awful lot about him potentially being abusive. I have never been in an abusive relationship but I have helped friends through theirs...and I know its hell. I also know 9/10 times people who are abusers rarely change. There are are red flags. Mainly his anger...but like I said in previous post nothing physical. He also rarely admits he is wrong...which I think we all can be like sometimes...but he has the tendency to blame others. Which I find extremely immature.

I just don't want to become even more
involved with him and find out he truly is abusive.
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