Psych Central

Go Back   Forums at Psych Central > >



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-09-2018, 09:00 AM   #1
golden_eve
Grand Magnate
 
golden_eve's Avatar
golden_eve has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2015
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 4,731 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

3 yr Member
3,314 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

Holy crap. I just learned or discovered that my oldest nephew who is in college unfriended me on Facebook.

I made a big mistake one night and messaged him there to tell him to have a great time in college and to party it up. UGH. I was a little buzzed when I wrote that to him and I know it was a BIG mistake to do so. So no one needs to tell me that it was a mistake and a bad judgement call, but my family is SO uptight that I felt he needed someone who could tell him it's OK to let loose.

Well, it turns out he is NOT into partying at all.

So now he's unfriended me, I cannot wish him a happy bday on there, and I feel absolutely TERRIBLE. I am a horrible role model and aunt!!!
__________________
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice."

~Bob Marley
golden_eve is online now   Reply With Quote

advertisement
Old 04-09-2018, 09:18 AM   #2
divine1966
Legendary
 
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 12,594 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

3 yr Member
369 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

Thatís a Facebook for you.

Wishing someone to party in college is a bit strange imho (and I am not up tight at all) but like you said you were buzzed (a different issue to look into all together as itís not the first time drinking caused lack of judgement). I think the issue is fixable though. Call your nephew (or text if itís easier) and apologize and talk to him directly. Tell him you love him and he matters to you and you made a mistake.

You donít need Facebook to communicate to family. You donít need Facebook to wish happy birthday. The thing is if you put something out there for everyone to see, it becomes much bigger issue. If however you for whatever reason donít have his phone number (which is again an issue all in itself), ask other relatives for his phone number. Maybe you can try to get to know him better on a personal level.
divine1966 is online now   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-09-2018, 09:24 AM   #3
golden_eve
Grand Magnate
 
golden_eve's Avatar
golden_eve has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2015
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 4,731 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

3 yr Member
3,314 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Thatís a Facebook for you.

Wishing someone to party in college is a bit strange imho (and I am not up tight at all) but like you said you were buzzed (a different issue to look into all together as itís not the first time drinking caused jack of judgement). I think the issue is fixable though. Call your nephew (or text if itís easier) and apologize and talk to him directly. Tell him you love him and he matters to you and you made a mistake.

You donít need Facebook to communicate to family. You donít need Facebook to wish happy birthday. The thing is if you put something out there for everyone to see, it becomes much bigger issue. If however you for whatever reason donít have his phone number (which is again an issue all in itself), ask other relatives for his phone number
Thanks, Divine. Yes, I am aware that I make BAD decisions sometimes when I've been drinking. But let's not make this thread about that topic -- but I am heartbroken and I know I did a bad thing. Argh! I am SO mad at myself. I did apologize to him after I did that, but now I really need to address it again and say something about it being a bad judgement call on my part. I can get his cell # easily enough. I need to respect the fact that he doesn't like to party like I do. I feel SO awful.
__________________
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice."

~Bob Marley

Last edited by golden_eve; 04-09-2018 at 09:39 AM..
golden_eve is online now   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-09-2018, 09:38 AM   #4
divine1966
Legendary
 
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 12,594 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

3 yr Member
369 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

Quote:
Originally Posted by golden_eve View Post
Yes, I am aware that I make BAD decisions sometimes when I've been drinking. And yes, let's not make this thread about that topic, but I am heartbroken and I know I did a bad thing. I did apologize to him after I did that, but now I really need to address it again and say something about it being a bad judgement call on my part. I can get his cell # easily enough.
I am sorry you are hurting

Just address it with him individually, donít even bother explaining to a family. Not their business. I hope he is understanding. Honestly his reaction is a bit extreme. Even if he didnít like what you said, no need to react this way. Itís a bit out there imho or maybe he is a bit emotionally unstable? Or his parents told him to unfrirnd you

One of my stepkids does this friending or unfriending . Blocks people over totally random things and two days later she is their best friend. She calls her dad every few days to inform him that she blocked some cousins or friends and what kind of drama she got into on Facebook. Two days later she calls to say thatís all good now lol She is a lovely person, just very much into Facebook drama

Facebook is drama creating place.

Hope your nephew and you make up and keep a connection going
divine1966 is online now   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-09-2018, 09:54 AM   #5
RubyRae
Grand Member
RubyRae has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 857
455 hugs
given
Default Re: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

It sure doesn't sound to me that you did anything wrong at all.It sounds like you did something nice,which was telling him to have a great time in college.I see no reason for you to call it a mistake or to even apologize.

And,since you did already apologize,there's really nothing more you should do.If you were unfriended for something that petty it says so much about him and this is his issue,not yours.

For real,I don't think this was anything 'bad', wasn't a 'bad decision' or even a 'mistake' you made .I have done the same,even when I wasn't buzzed.And it's not your fault or your problem how he reacted.
RubyRae is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-09-2018, 10:30 AM   #6
golden_eve
Grand Magnate
 
golden_eve's Avatar
golden_eve has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2015
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 4,731 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

3 yr Member
3,314 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
I am sorry you are hurting

Just address it with him individually, donít even bother explaining to a family. Not their business. I hope he is understanding. Honestly his reaction is a bit extreme. Even if he didnít like what you said, no need to react this way. Itís a bit out there imho or maybe he is a bit emotionally unstable? Or his parents told him to unfrirnd you

One of my stepkids does this friending or unfriending . Blocks people over totally random things and two days later she is their best friend. She calls her dad every few days to inform him that she blocked some cousins or friends and what kind of drama she got into on Facebook. Two days later she calls to say thatís all good now lol She is a lovely person, just very much into Facebook drama

Facebook is drama creating place.

Hope your nephew and you make up and keep a connection going
Thank you so much.

I think it's a bit extreme too??? I mean, honestly. We're family. No need to take it that far. He IS unstable, in fact, and is in therapy because his dad is abusive.

So.. there's that piece. And I haven't bothered him on facebook since. I just don't get it. I feel really slapped in the face. And yes, FB IS a drama filled place! Tons of friending and unfriending going on there. I hate that aspect of it!
__________________
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice."

~Bob Marley
golden_eve is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-09-2018, 10:33 AM   #7
golden_eve
Grand Magnate
 
golden_eve's Avatar
golden_eve has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2015
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 4,731 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

3 yr Member
3,314 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

Quote:
Originally Posted by RubyRae View Post
It sure doesn't sound to me that you did anything wrong at all.It sounds like you did something nice,which was telling him to have a great time in college.I see no reason for you to call it a mistake or to even apologize.

And,since you did already apologize,there's really nothing more you should do.If you were unfriended for something that petty it says so much about him and this is his issue,not yours.

For real,I don't think this was anything 'bad', wasn't a 'bad decision' or even a 'mistake' you made .I have done the same,even when I wasn't buzzed.And it's not your fault or your problem how he reacted.
Thank you so much for your support.

It does seem rather petty. And unfair. My main point was to tell him to just have fun. He's got some issues going on for sure. Maybe I should chalk it up to that and not feel so terrible about what I did?!? Thank you again -- this helps!!
__________________
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice."

~Bob Marley
golden_eve is online now   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Hugs from:
Old 04-09-2018, 10:34 AM   #8
Arbie
Poohbah
 
Arbie's Avatar
Arbie has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,018 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

261 hugs
given
Default Re: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

If he's unstable and in an abusive environment, there could be any number of explanations. For all we know, maybe somebody intimidated him.
Arbie is online now   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-09-2018, 10:34 AM   #9
Anonymous55397
Guest
Anonymous55397 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

I don't think you did anything wrong, honestly. What a strange reaction to a well-meant message. I don't party myself, but if a family member sent me a message wishing me a good time in college and to party it up, I would thank them and maybe say my partying would be playing computer games.

Try not to think on it too much, ok?
  Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-09-2018, 10:36 AM   #10
golden_eve
Grand Magnate
 
golden_eve's Avatar
golden_eve has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2015
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 4,731 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

3 yr Member
3,314 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arbie View Post
If he's unstable and in an abusive environment, there could be any number of explanations. For all we know, maybe somebody intimidated him.
TY!

Yes, for all I know, he told his abusive father about my message and he's the one who suggested he unfriend me. That's very possible. His father is a total A-hole and he's afraid of him.
__________________
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice."

~Bob Marley
golden_eve is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:16 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




advertisement

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

 

HomeAbout UsContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer
Forums HomeCommunity GuidelinesHelp


 
Helplines and Lifelines