Psych Central

Go Back   Forums at Psych Central > >



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-09-2018, 10:38 AM   #11
golden_eve
Grand Magnate
 
golden_eve's Avatar
golden_eve has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2015
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 4,756 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

3 yr Member
3,326 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

Quote:
Originally Posted by scaredandconfused View Post
I don't think you did anything wrong, honestly. What a strange reaction to a well-meant message. I don't party myself, but if a family member sent me a message wishing me a good time in college and to party it up, I would thank them and maybe say my partying would be playing computer games.

Try not to think on it too much, ok?
TY! It really helps to hear people saying I didn't do anything SO awful. And you're right. Even if he didn't like my message, he could have just brushed it off and told me that he doesn't like to party, but thanks anyways. My intentions were good.
__________________
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice."

~Bob Marley
golden_eve is offline   Reply With Quote

advertisement
Old 04-09-2018, 10:41 AM   #12
RubyRae
Grand Member
RubyRae has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 857
455 hugs
given
Default Re: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

Quote:
. My intentions were good
Remember that.It's all that matters.

This reminds me of giving someone a Christmas gift and instead of being appreciative they complain.It's hurtful,but it's not your fault,you had good intentions and meant well.
RubyRae is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-09-2018, 10:46 AM   #13
seesaw
Human
 
seesaw's Avatar
seesaw grieving
 
Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 6,005 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

3 yr Member
598 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

Ug, seems rather extreme to me too. I mean, I was very serious in school and didn't have much time for partying, but seriously, college is the time to learn and experiment with all sorts of things (not just drugs and/or alcohol). Telling someone to enjoy this time of their life isn't a big offense, in my book.

But, it does depend on how you worded it. I agree with Divine. Just call him and explain that you just meant for him to enjoy himself during this very exciting time in his life. And to do what's right for him.

Hope you can patch it up.

Seesaw
__________________


What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
seesaw is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-09-2018, 11:22 AM   #14
Anonymous50909
Guest
Anonymous50909 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

(((((((Eve)))))) Something I'm wondering, is if it really has nothing to do with you and what you said to him (his unfriending of you) and more to do with him and what he's going through. You said he is unstable and in therapy. And you said you apologized. I'm just wondering if he's going through something. Regardless, it is hurtful to be unfriended on Facebook!! Been there! I've also been on the side where I've done the unfriending when I was unstable, and then later was like, oh man, what did I do? Anyway, I really like Divine's suggestions on page 1.

  Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-09-2018, 11:41 AM   #15
s4ndm4n2006
Chat Moderator
Chat Leader
 
s4ndm4n2006's Avatar
s4ndm4n2006 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: limbo
Posts: 1,854
3 yr Member
168 hugs
given
Default Re: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

well to be honest this is probably one of the biggest reasons I hate fb in the first place. the whole obligatory "friend" thing is dumb and unreasonable. People on both sides have placed the importance of the friend thing on fb way too high. Thing is there are people that I, for one would be friends with but absolutely do not want to see their daily crap, hear from them constantly or know that the things they might say would be something I don't want to be forced to deal with..


what I mean is, there are people that even as much as I care about them I don't want them in my face all the time. and I should be allowed this. But today's culture and I believe your thinking this way too... makes being friends so significant on fb it means something far more than it should. They unfriended you, their reasons are theirs. They have not cut you off from life, they have not disowned you... it's ... just... facebook.


Turn the tables for a moment without thinking and analyzing the actual situation and let's hypothesize this. What if someone on your friend list did something outside of your acceptable code or rules. Something significant enough that it warranted unfriending them. Do you think you should be allowed to do so? Without explanation? I do. You have that right and your reasoning is YOURS and does not need explanation. You just disconnected from someone on one very finite and singular social media place. Nothing more.


So with the tables turned and all I've said, isn't it fair that they are allowed to do so based on their unknown (by you) reasons?


Let's lower our priority of having facebook friends and consider the real relationships instead first.... use fb as a tool to connect not a gauge as to whether people care about us or not.
s4ndm4n2006 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-09-2018, 11:50 AM   #16
golden_eve
Grand Magnate
 
golden_eve's Avatar
golden_eve has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2015
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 4,756 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

3 yr Member
3,326 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

Quote:
Originally Posted by RubyRae View Post
Remember that.It's all that matters.

This reminds me of giving someone a Christmas gift and instead of being appreciative they complain.It's hurtful,but it's not your fault,you had good intentions and meant well.
TY! And yes, agreed!
__________________
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice."

~Bob Marley
golden_eve is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-09-2018, 11:52 AM   #17
golden_eve
Grand Magnate
 
golden_eve's Avatar
golden_eve has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2015
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 4,756 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

3 yr Member
3,326 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

Quote:
Originally Posted by seesaw View Post
Ug, seems rather extreme to me too. I mean, I was very serious in school and didn't have much time for partying, but seriously, college is the time to learn and experiment with all sorts of things (not just drugs and/or alcohol). Telling someone to enjoy this time of their life isn't a big offense, in my book.

But, it does depend on how you worded it. I agree with Divine. Just call him and explain that you just meant for him to enjoy himself during this very exciting time in his life. And to do what's right for him.

Hope you can patch it up.

Seesaw
TY!

Now that everyone is saying so, I really don't think it was that bad. I worded it just in terms of letting loose and enjoying himself.

It's his bday today and now I cannot wish him a happy bday on his fb page. I am just not too thrilled right now with all of this. I can certainly apologize again and try to smooth it over.
__________________
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice."

~Bob Marley
golden_eve is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-09-2018, 11:53 AM   #18
golden_eve
Grand Magnate
 
golden_eve's Avatar
golden_eve has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2015
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 4,756 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

3 yr Member
3,326 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

Quote:
Originally Posted by starrysky View Post
(((((((Eve)))))) Something I'm wondering, is if it really has nothing to do with you and what you said to him (his unfriending of you) and more to do with him and what he's going through. You said he is unstable and in therapy. And you said you apologized. I'm just wondering if he's going through something. Regardless, it is hurtful to be unfriended on Facebook!! Been there! I've also been on the side where I've done the unfriending when I was unstable, and then later was like, oh man, what did I do? Anyway, I really like Divine's suggestions on page 1.

TY as well!

He IS going through a really rough time. Not only with his abusive father, but also in school. He's not happy and wants to transfer schools.

Maybe I should try to be more compassionate and understanding than so hurt???
__________________
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice."

~Bob Marley
golden_eve is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-09-2018, 11:54 AM   #19
golden_eve
Grand Magnate
 
golden_eve's Avatar
golden_eve has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2015
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 4,756 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

3 yr Member
3,326 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006 View Post
well to be honest this is probably one of the biggest reasons I hate fb in the first place. the whole obligatory "friend" thing is dumb and unreasonable. People on both sides have placed the importance of the friend thing on fb way too high. Thing is there are people that I, for one would be friends with but absolutely do not want to see their daily crap, hear from them constantly or know that the things they might say would be something I don't want to be forced to deal with..


what I mean is, there are people that even as much as I care about them I don't want them in my face all the time. and I should be allowed this. But today's culture and I believe your thinking this way too... makes being friends so significant on fb it means something far more than it should. They unfriended you, their reasons are theirs. They have not cut you off from life, they have not disowned you... it's ... just... facebook.


Turn the tables for a moment without thinking and analyzing the actual situation and let's hypothesize this. What if someone on your friend list did something outside of your acceptable code or rules. Something significant enough that it warranted unfriending them. Do you think you should be allowed to do so? Without explanation? I do. You have that right and your reasoning is YOURS and does not need explanation. You just disconnected from someone on one very finite and singular social media place. Nothing more.


So with the tables turned and all I've said, isn't it fair that they are allowed to do so based on their unknown (by you) reasons?


Let's lower our priority of having facebook friends and consider the real relationships instead first.... use fb as a tool to connect not a gauge as to whether people care about us or not.
TY, but this is family. Family members in my book do not unfriend each other unless they intend to disown them and never speak with them again OR if that family member did something SO outrageous that it calls for blocking and/or unfriending. I did not deserve this. And I saw him just last week and he acted as though nothing were wrong.
__________________
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice."

~Bob Marley
golden_eve is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-09-2018, 11:58 AM   #20
Anonymous50909
Guest
Anonymous50909 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

Quote:
Originally Posted by golden_eve View Post
TY as well!

He IS going through a really rough time. Not only with his abusive father, but also in school. He's not happy and wants to transfer schools.

Maybe I should try to be more compassionate and understanding than so hurt???
Hey Eve, I think...you feel how you feel. I was just giving an alternate perspective. I think you are a compassionate person. Idk. For me, sometimes it help to not personalize. It's hard not to. I hope you get in touch with him!
  Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:26 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




advertisement

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

 

HomeAbout UsContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer
Forums HomeCommunity GuidelinesHelp


 
Helplines and Lifelines