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Old 04-08-2018, 07:20 PM   #1
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Default Not sure if I posted here or not

So just coming out of a second relationship with people that have very similar trusts to sociopaths. It has been two month since I laid eyes on the last however there have been email exchanges. I donít understand and I and grossly hurt by conversations had and plans made during the relationships that just all of a sudden disappear. I donít get it. And how do I end up in back to back relationships like this? I canít make any sense of it. What is it about me that attracts these type people? Surely someone here has had a similar experience and could perhaps offer some insight.
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Old 04-08-2018, 08:18 PM   #2
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I empathize with you greatly and wish you to be well.

Your questions are not simple, nor are the attempts to reply to them easy, objectively true and more.

There are multiple possible explanations as to why you "'end up' in back to back relationships" of similar circumstances, behavior and more. Some examples are how you are (and are not) conditioned, your familiarity to such dynamics in relationships and people, you lack the necessary knowledge to identify warning signs before and/or during your history with the person in familiarizing yourselves with each other, you lack the necessary knowledge to heal from past incidents, whether it is trauma, hurt, heartbreak and others, you might just simply be attracted to people, who happen to be of similar behaviors as one another, and any combination of the aforesaid factors. There are more possible causes.


Also, just a quick note, upon research in such topics, there is no "type" of person. Labels of people are mere attempts to define people in order to speak about subjective aspects, but those labels inaccurately attempt to objectify a person when that cannot be ontologically done.
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Old 04-09-2018, 06:27 AM   #3
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You know..... the gut feelings we get, intuitions, we all over the place with this last yet I ignored them. Why? Not certain. Something was telling me no, donít go forward, let it go. Again, I ignored them. Perhaps only a professional would only be able to answer what or why that is. I never suffered any real trauma as a child other than alcolic stepfather that would get drunk and have rage fits. That in itself is traumatic for a child, that and no real male figure for leadership or guidamce. Yea..... may be time to start looking for professional help.
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Old 04-09-2018, 06:11 PM   #4
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Having an alcoholic father who went on drunken rampages is some major trauma! I donít think that you attract people so much as you inadvertently ignore warnings signs. Have you looked into therapy or self help books about being the child of an alcoholic? I did and got some major insights into why I fell into relationships with abusive people. It changed my life.
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Old 04-09-2018, 08:36 PM   #5
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Default Re: Not sure if I posted here or not

Quote:
Originally Posted by cmar_cmar View Post
You know..... the gut feelings we get, intuitions, we all over the place with this last yet I ignored them. Why? Not certain. Something was telling me no, donít go forward, let it go. Again, I ignored them. Perhaps only a professional would only be able to answer what or why that is. I never suffered any real trauma as a child other than alcolic stepfather that would get drunk and have rage fits. That in itself is traumatic for a child, that and no real male figure for leadership or guidamce. Yea..... may be time to start looking for professional help.

While a professional is indeed capable and supposed to be trained to help, possess knowledge, empathy, patience, objective thinking and more, there are issues with finding someone, a professional, who not only can and is trained to assist you, but also who will assist you.

Even professionals do not have (all) the "answers," insight and so on. Again, there is hardly any, if any at all, objectivity in areas of life like these because certainty is lacking in pinpointing causes, behave in general and more.

After reading countless articles, webpages and so forth, there are even professionals, who admit the complications, limitations and more of what we are discussing. If you choose to consult a professional, I wish for you to find someone, who indeed will assist you. Additionally, just to toss a thought out to you, there is more than a wealth of info online of no charge to assist you as well.

As Shazerac already stated, there are multiple routes for help. You are free to to choose which, how ever many, none at all and so forth.


I wish for you to be well, cmar_cmar.
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Old 04-10-2018, 06:49 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shazerac View Post
Having an alcoholic father who went on drunken rampages is some major trauma! I donít think that you attract people so much as you inadvertently ignore warnings signs. Have you looked into therapy or self help books about being the child of an alcoholic? I did and got some major insights into why I fell into relationships with abusive people. It changed my life.
I am currently seeking therapy now.
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