I feel guilty and hopeless

Gasplessy · 03-12-2018, 08:15 PM

[First of all, sorry for any english mistake... i'm not a native speaker - but I found this forum a few years ago]

I'm almost 30 years old.
I'm struggling with being this old, since I've been suffering for a mix of depression, dysmorphobia, anxiety and I have been isolated and self neglecting in my 20s and I'm having lots of regrets

I don't really know how to face my life. I've been in a sort of mental coma for years, and stayed in bed for years, refusing to act normally.

Long story short: not only I have wasted my life, but i also feel very guilty with my parents.
I just didn't give them enough affection because of my mental disorders.

I have just trashed my life and I'm desperate.
I've gone through a lot of psycotherapy to do a sort of defragment and realize that I just wanted to live but was very disoriented

My parents are now 64 and 65.
I was 16 when things became to get messy. They where about 50 at that time.

I can't even explain how much pain I feel when I think that I've literally trashed not only my life but also our relationship

Sorry I just feel so sad

Crazy Hitch · 03-13-2018, 02:40 AM

You know what?

I have made so many mistakes, some really awful, some unchangeable.

I went through a bad stage of dwelling on things I'd done.

But my new outlook is i CAN'T change it - but I CAN put my best foot forward, step by step, making slow progress every day.

I immediately acknowledge when I think of the way I've been in the past, "This is not helpful to me". and I put the thought aside.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Act now!

tattytr · 12-11-2018, 07:51 AM

Perhaps it's too difficult but you have to learn to act even if you have serious problems it's not the reason to stay at one place. Try to find a hobby, open a talant, meet interesting people. I have social phobia too but it does not bother me to move forward. I even graduated from university.

Buffy01 · 12-16-2018, 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gasplessy

[First of all, sorry for any english mistake... i'm not a native speaker - but I found this forum a few years ago]

I'm almost 30 years old.
I'm struggling with being this old, since I've been suffering for a mix of depression, dysmorphobia, anxiety and I have been isolated and self neglecting in my 20s and I'm having lots of regrets

I don't really know how to face my life. I've been in a sort of mental coma for years, and stayed in bed for years, refusing to act normally.

Long story short: not only I have wasted my life, but i also feel very guilty with my parents.
I just didn't give them enough affection because of my mental disorders.

I have just trashed my life and I'm desperate.
I've gone through a lot of psycotherapy to do a sort of defragment and realize that I just wanted to live but was very disoriented

My parents are now 64 and 65.
I was 16 when things became to get messy. They where about 50 at that time.

I can't even explain how much pain I feel when I think that I've literally trashed not only my life but also our relationship

Sorry I just feel so sad

I am sorry that you are struggling right now.

ennie · 12-16-2018, 10:36 PM

You are actually still very young. You took responsibility and went through psychotherapy instead of blaming others and refusing therapy. Not everyone is able to do that.

Your experience is not a waste: In the future, you can help others who may be going through a similar experience.

Mopey · 12-16-2018, 11:40 PM

Everything you have done is probably contributing to your growth, even though it may not be apparent to you right away. Just don't give up. You have courage!

piggy momma · 12-17-2018, 02:22 AM

It is not too late to make changes! 30 is not old at all...

I too wasted most of my life, and my youth doing nothing or doing all the wrong things because of depression and mental illness. I used to dwell on everything i could have done, or should have done, all the mistakes I made, etc.

Except dwelling on those things and getting depressed doesn't change anything going forward. It just makes you more depressed and despondent.

At the age of 44 I started university! I am working on my degree and I know it will take a good ten years to get through school...I am making changes now so that the rest of my life doesn't have to be like the first half of my life.

I don't want to be on my deathbed regretting my whole life. Yes I wasted many many years, but I'm making change now and feel good about it.

It's not too late! Do you have someone who can help you with goal planning? Perhaps a friend, a mentor, or a therapist? Can you see your doctor and rule out any physical maladies and then work on your mental health? What are your interests and hobbies? If you could change one thing today, what would it be and what is the first step you need to take to do it? Baby steps...you just need to take the first step and want change bad enough to take the second!

G lady · 12-20-2018, 01:06 PM

Please try to stop thinking so much about the past and move forward in a different direction. I believe that once you start making better choices and focus on the future, you will feel much better.

I wish you all the best!

MickeyCheeky · 12-20-2018, 01:27 PM

30 is not old at all, Gasplessy! I understand how you feel, but please know that nothing in our life is wasted. Every experience we make lead us to growth and change, and shapes us into the person we are today. Plus you've still tried to deal with your problems, so be proud of yourself for that. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Don't give up. Sending many hugs to you

03-12-2018, 08:15 PM	#1
Gasplessy Junior Member Gasplessy has no updates. Member Since: Oct 2016 Location: Italy Posts: 23 My Mood: 5 hugs given	I feel guilty and hopeless [First of all, sorry for any english mistake... i'm not a native speaker - but I found this forum a few years ago] I'm almost 30 years old. I'm struggling with being this old, since I've been suffering for a mix of depression, dysmorphobia, anxiety and I have been isolated and self neglecting in my 20s and I'm having lots of regrets I don't really know how to face my life. I've been in a sort of mental coma for years, and stayed in bed for years, refusing to act normally. Long story short: not only I have wasted my life, but i also feel very guilty with my parents. I just didn't give them enough affection because of my mental disorders. I have just trashed my life and I'm desperate. I've gone through a lot of psycotherapy to do a sort of defragment and realize that I just wanted to live but was very disoriented My parents are now 64 and 65. I was 16 when things became to get messy. They where about 50 at that time. I can't even explain how much pain I feel when I think that I've literally trashed not only my life but also our relationship Sorry I just feel so sad

03-13-2018, 02:40 AM	#2
Crazy Hitch ɘvlovƎ Crazy Hitch Just breathe ... Member Since: Nov 2013 Location: ϟϟ☁ Thunder ☁☁☂ Posts: 15,753 (SuperPoster!) My Mood: 10.9k hugs given	Re: I feel guilty and hopeless You know what? I have made so many mistakes, some really awful, some unchangeable. I went through a bad stage of dwelling on things I'd done. But my new outlook is i CAN'T change it - but I CAN put my best foot forward, step by step, making slow progress every day. I immediately acknowledge when I think of the way I've been in the past, "This is not helpful to me". and I put the thought aside. Don't be so hard on yourself. Act now! __________________

12-11-2018, 07:51 AM	#3
tattytr New Member tattytr has no updates. Member Since: Dec 2018 Location: new york Posts: 4	Re: I feel guilty and hopeless Perhaps it's too difficult but you have to learn to act even if you have serious problems it's not the reason to stay at one place. Try to find a hobby, open a talant, meet interesting people. I have social phobia too but it does not bother me to move forward. I even graduated from university.

12-16-2018, 10:36 PM	#5
ennie Member ennie has no updates. Member Since: Oct 2018 Location: Pleasanton Posts: 349 (SuperPoster!) My Mood: 490 hugs given	Re: I feel guilty and hopeless You are actually still very young. You took responsibility and went through psychotherapy instead of blaming others and refusing therapy. Not everyone is able to do that. Your experience is not a waste: In the future, you can help others who may be going through a similar experience.

12-16-2018, 11:40 PM	#6
Mopey Veteran Member Mopey has no updates. Member Since: Oct 2018 Location: California Posts: 555 (SuperPoster!) My Mood: 320 hugs given	Re: I feel guilty and hopeless Everything you have done is probably contributing to your growth, even though it may not be apparent to you right away. Just don't give up. You have courage!

12-17-2018, 02:22 AM	#7
piggy momma Veteran Member piggy momma has no updates. Member Since: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Posts: 705 (SuperPoster!) 33 hugs given	Re: I feel guilty and hopeless It is not too late to make changes! 30 is not old at all... I too wasted most of my life, and my youth doing nothing or doing all the wrong things because of depression and mental illness. I used to dwell on everything i could have done, or should have done, all the mistakes I made, etc. Except dwelling on those things and getting depressed doesn't change anything going forward. It just makes you more depressed and despondent. At the age of 44 I started university! I am working on my degree and I know it will take a good ten years to get through school...I am making changes now so that the rest of my life doesn't have to be like the first half of my life. I don't want to be on my deathbed regretting my whole life. Yes I wasted many many years, but I'm making change now and feel good about it. It's not too late! Do you have someone who can help you with goal planning? Perhaps a friend, a mentor, or a therapist? Can you see your doctor and rule out any physical maladies and then work on your mental health? What are your interests and hobbies? If you could change one thing today, what would it be and what is the first step you need to take to do it? Baby steps...you just need to take the first step and want change bad enough to take the second!

12-20-2018, 01:06 PM	#8
G lady Junior Member G lady has no updates. Member Since: Aug 2018 Location: Midwest Posts: 17 7 hugs given	Re: I feel guilty and hopeless Please try to stop thinking so much about the past and move forward in a different direction. I believe that once you start making better choices and focus on the future, you will feel much better. I wish you all the best!

12-20-2018, 01:27 PM	#9
MickeyCheeky Wise Elder MickeyCheeky My echo is the only voice coming back Member Since: Jun 2016 Location: Italy Posts: 8,647 (SuperPoster!) My Mood: 24k hugs given	Re: I feel guilty and hopeless 30 is not old at all, Gasplessy! I understand how you feel, but please know that nothing in our life is wasted. Every experience we make lead us to growth and change, and shapes us into the person we are today. Plus you've still tried to deal with your problems, so be proud of yourself for that. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Don't give up. Sending many hugs to you

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