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Old 07-03-2007, 10:52 PM   #21
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Default Re: Do you say fine when your not?

I'm a cashier also. I tend to say "Fine" or "Tired" or some other plain non-answer when being ask in a social way. I will sometimes tell a co-worker "crabby." Then he ask me "Why?" I said "I don't know." without even thinking. Then I corrected myself by stating that I do know I just don't want to talk about it. I try not to take my issues to work with me because people want a happy cashier. I remember a cashier who was going throug a divorce. Lots of people avoided her line and complained to me that she never smiled or looked at them. Since I had never seen her happy, I wasn't sure if it was the divorce, a mental health issue or just a bad attitude. But it struck as annoying that people expect customer service people to know the answers and to be happy all the time. I will never forget the co-worker who was complaining of a headache. Then she turned around and cheerfully checked out a customer and then returned to complaining about the head ache.
As for the support group, I tell the truth to them. I tell myself sister the truth--except not at the depth that I tell T. My sister doesn't want to spend an hour listening to me explore my feelings. My T asks a question similar and I tell her the truth. I share what has been bothering me since our last session. Pdoc--I don't go into depth (15 ot 20 minute session) but what I do say is the truth. I hope that you can tell the truth about how you feel to someone. There will always be differing degrees of self-disclosure to customers, friends, family members, mental health providers,etc. But, I hope there is someone to whom you can share your inner-being with.
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Old 07-04-2007, 12:10 AM   #22
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Default Re: Do you say fine when your not?

I agree with everything you said about being a cashier hopefull. it seems that everyone wants and expects a happy cashier as you said. sometimes its hard to do, but i say fine anyways. i agree with all of what you said.
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Old 07-08-2007, 05:33 PM   #23
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Default Re: Do you say fine when your not?

I've been paying attention to what I do these days. I'm noticing that when someone asks "How are you" I say "Hi" in response or just shake their hand in greeting. How about that? No one even notices that you didn't answer the question. Especially if they didn't actually stop and look you in the eyes as they asked. Most people aren't looking at you or are quickly passing when they ask so you don't really have to answer the question with "fine" at all. Interesting huh?
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Old 07-08-2007, 09:20 PM   #24
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Default Re: Do you say fine when your not?

Yes that's true - I think you could say Hi, I really suck today and they'd say "oh that's good"........
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Old 07-11-2007, 07:15 PM   #25
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Default Re: Do you say fine when your not?

i always say i'm fine when i'm not
msn convos always go
hey
hey
hows you
ok you?
i automatically type it
i don't even think about it
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Old 07-13-2007, 12:35 AM   #26
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Default Re: Do you say fine when your not?

I think it is like a ritual or standard greeting kind of thing. It is polite chit chat .. a stranger says hello, how are you today. The expected response is .. fine, how are you. The expected response is .. just fine.

If a close personal friend or beloved family member asks .. it is accepted to give an accurate answer. or to just say 'fine' if you don't want to discuss any further.

Sometimes I say 'fine' because I don't want to burden others with any sadness or grief I might be carrying. It is bad enough that I suffer, why should I pass that along to another. I would rather pass along peace and joy to another regardless of how I might be feeling. I must admit, though, that it would be nice to let someone take my burden every now and then...
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Old 07-13-2007, 11:10 AM   #27
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Default Re: Do you say fine when your not?

No, I don't, any more. Unless I am feeling fine. If I'm not, I usually try to say something innocuous, or ask the person asking the question how they are, or just say "Good Morning" or something like that. You don't have to be dishonest and say you are fine but you don't have to upset someone else either (if you can keep your cool at the time Do you say fine when your not?.)
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Old 07-13-2007, 11:12 AM   #28
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Default Re: Do you say fine when your not?

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
therealme said:( i reply to each question with IM FINE...)

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

That can come to bite you, if you don't listen to the question!
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Old 07-23-2007, 04:08 PM   #29
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Default Re: Do you say fine when your not?

Yeah, I do. I don't want anyone to bother me if I'm feeling bad. If I say I'm not okay, then people badger me and ask why, and I don't want to tell them. Only if I'm REALLY not okay do I ever say that I'm not okay.
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Old 07-23-2007, 08:06 PM   #30
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Default Re: Do you say fine when your not?

No, I don't reply with "Fine." Sometimes I don't answer but ask them how they are. If they say fine, and I sense otherwise, I then ask, Ok, now how are you really??? That lets them know we understand the formalities, but that I care to know the real answer. Do you say fine when your not?

I had a lawyer tell me years ago to never say I'm ok or fine if I'm not. That stuck with me, adding to the idea that I want to always give a good answer, even when I know most ppl are asking just as a greeting.
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