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Old 07-01-2007, 06:35 PM   #11
WinterRose
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Default Re: Do you say fine when your not?

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Wants2Fly said:
Yes, I do. And I try to really mean it and smile. Because there is always someone who is less fine than I am -- perhaps even the person who just asked.

And research shows that emotion follow thought, not vice versa. So knowing that I was strong and disciplined enough to be pleasant, and not spread my grief around the world, helps me to feel better, at least for that moment and a few moments afterward.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I really admire that. I say I'm fine usually even when I'm not, but then I feel bad afterwards.
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Do you say fine when your not?Do you say fine when your not?
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Old 07-01-2007, 06:39 PM   #12
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Default Re: Do you say fine when your not?

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
tranquility said:
A couple weeks ago I flitted around smiling saying I was fine and then when I shared in the meeting I burst into tears!

A few people came over and asked why I said I was fine when I wasn't and I said cause I didn't want to hear myself complain. But it was also because I don't feel I deserve to ask for help.

Yet when I fell apart all the help in the world was there and I felt a million times better. Now at least when I'm at a meeting I am honest about how I feel.


</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

It is nice that there are some places where you can be sincere and people really want to know. I think I also say fine just to hide so I don't break down when what I really want is for someone to hold me. Just today I tried to tell my sister about something I was struggling with and her reaction in short was to tell me to deal with it and get a grip. So it's nice to have places like PC where people understand and have a sense for when something is really devistating that would not be for other people.
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Do you say fine when your not?Do you say fine when your not?
~~~~~
“The individual who is always adjusted is one who does not develop himself...” (Dabrowski, Kawczak, & Piechowski, 1970)

“Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.” (Oliver Wendell Holms, Sr.)
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Old 07-01-2007, 06:41 PM   #13
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Default Re: Do you say fine when your not?

It's such an automatic question and it always hits me when I'm asked, especially when I'm not fine. It makes me sad because usually they don't want to know they're just being social. It's not their fault - just a social norm like a call and response - both sides are usually automatic. But still it can hurt. Sometimes I say so/so and they might ask a little more, but it can get akward for the other person.

My pdoc recently asked how are you on the phone and I said it depends on the hour and he replied, dumb question (meaning his). LOL It's even automatic for him.
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Do you say fine when your not?Do you say fine when your not?
~~~~~
“The individual who is always adjusted is one who does not develop himself...” (Dabrowski, Kawczak, & Piechowski, 1970)

“Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.” (Oliver Wendell Holms, Sr.)
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Old 07-01-2007, 08:15 PM   #14
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Default Re: Do you say fine when your not?

sadly, I put on a good face but usually im terrified to death of social situations.
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Old 07-02-2007, 04:36 AM   #15
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Default Re: Do you say fine when your not?

if its a hi, how are u thing
i just say hello how are u
and never actually answer them - in verbal convo

in chats yeah all the time i say fine

like what was said its sometimes given as a greeting and the speaker is not intending on listening to the answer

as for drs and T i tell them its a silly question to ask cos if everything was fine i woodnt be there
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Old 07-02-2007, 12:33 PM   #16
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Default Re: Do you say fine when your not?

I always say I'm fine - even when I'm not.
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Old 07-03-2007, 01:26 AM   #17
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Tranquility... omg, I do this all the time. well first of all, i work as a cashier at a store, so part of my job is to ask how people are and they usually reply and ask me how I'm doing, I always say fine, but Im never fine due to my depression. obviously they dont want to hear that your life sucks. but I do this most of the time to just everyone even not at work. Unless its my closest family or friends. I'll usually tell them, but not always. yes, i feel like when I am out, people expect me to say that Im doing fine. yeah. i know what you mean definatly.
Do you say fine when your not?
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Old 07-03-2007, 01:54 PM   #18
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Default Re: Do you say fine when your not?

I always say I'm fine, when someone asks me. I do believe
it is a common practice to ask that question. Although I
really want to tell someone how I feel, but I don't want to be
judged, and I also don't trust alot of people.

If it is a very good friend or a family member, then I will
let them know what's going on.
The other thing that I have noticed people do, is when they
get on an elevator, everyone looks down,or straight ahead.
No one speaks on the elevator.
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Old 07-03-2007, 07:28 PM   #19
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Default Re: Do you say fine when your not?

im fine........... !!!!! , 2 words so easy to say, they stop others from worrying.............. but mean nothing at all.
yes i tell those close to me that im fine, even when im scared, in pain or anything........ i have been doing it so long now that i say it now without thinking................( i reply to each question with IM FINE...)
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Old 07-03-2007, 09:23 PM   #20
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Default Re: Do you say fine when your not?

True - it is a knee jerk reaction to say "Fine" in response. I find myself uttering the word even before I register it - all the while feeling like I wish they were really asking.
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Do you say fine when your not?Do you say fine when your not?
~~~~~
“The individual who is always adjusted is one who does not develop himself...” (Dabrowski, Kawczak, & Piechowski, 1970)

“Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.” (Oliver Wendell Holms, Sr.)
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