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Old 04-17-2005, 04:43 AM   #21
openspace
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Default Re: How easily do you trust?

I tend to be overly trusting in my romantic relationships, believing my partner's story over my own reality. This has been very difficult for me as I seem to be attracted to unstable people with attachment problems. It's as if I won't see the affair until they admit it to me, which they never do. I have this faulty instinct where I give instant trust and admiration to people who can't quite do it. Outside of romance, my instincts are much better, yet still err on the same side.

In therapy, however, it took a long time for me to open up. Partly this was because I was so infatuated with my therapist. It was hard to show vulnerability and emotion. It took three years for me to cry in front of her, despite regular tears outside therapy.

Over 4 years, I have established a deep trust in her - the deepest I have experienced. I see her actions, words, and consistency, but also feel the changes she has inspired. The fact that I give her so much power to "mold" me, yet I become more and more my"self" is fascinating and comforting.
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Old 04-17-2005, 08:39 PM   #22
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Default Re: How easily do you trust?

when i was young i used to trust everyone, a lot of things happened to change that. my mother left us when i was 9 and a lot of bad things happened in my childhood as a result of that. for the longest time it was women that i could not trust. being around or being friends with other women made me think of the feeling of being abandoned by my mother, having no control over my life because i was a child. i always felt more comfortable with men, more trusting, my best friend was a guy. but thats gone too now washed away because of hubby. i dont trust men at all anymore. if i could build a house in the middle of the woods and close everything in around me, just me and my kids i would be the happiest person in the world. the only thing is they would not be happy.
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Old 04-18-2005, 08:19 PM   #23
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Default Re: How easily do you trust?

I think it depends. Sometimes I think it's easy for me to trust because I always want to beleive the best in someone and never beleive that they are out to hurt or betray me. On the other hand, I get scared to trust to easily for fear of leaving myself wide open for hurt and disapointment. This questiona is not black and white for me.
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Old 04-19-2005, 07:36 PM   #24
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Default Re: How easily do you trust?

Hello there,

Trust : interesting subject for me today. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt that I can trust them. Then they show me that they can't be trusted, I will then go awhile not trusting them. I am learning that I trust too fast and too easily. It does change your personaility when you stop trusting others in your life, it makes the unknown more scary at times. I believe trust and respect go together, they are both earned.

Take care,
Leslie
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Old 04-19-2005, 09:17 PM   #25
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I tend to trust too much and too soon, but once that trust has been abused I have big trouble believing in the person again
Angie
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Old 04-19-2005, 09:22 PM   #26
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I don't trust at all. I've been with my therapist for almost 3 years and I don't trust him to be confidential with what I say. I had a therapist that while I was at the window making a new appointment and paying he went and told my mom I was still drinking and that I needed to get it under control or else. I found out the or else was no longer being able to use their services but I felt extremely betrayed and let him have it when I had calmed down somewhat. I was an adult and he had no reason to talk to my mom about what I had told him. He is no longer a therapist but a drug rep so I guess that's good. But it will take a long time before I trust anyone in that capacity again. I don't trust my mom because when I do something bad she runs and tells my sister and I don't like that because me and my sister have a wierd relationship anyway I don't need mom to add fuel to her fire...so I guess now that I have rambled on and on I will stop.

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Old 04-20-2005, 01:39 AM   #27
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Default Re: How easily do you trust?

I don't trust that people like me, as they pretend to. I don't know what other types of trust you meant . . . I probably would trust someone if I was in a relationship to not cheat on me . . . I don't know.

Chris.
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Old 04-20-2005, 09:59 AM   #28
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Default Re: How easily do you trust?

this is a weird one for me. i often trust people i want to be friends with ridiculously easily. but then i start doubting them, my trust in them, their motives and i start going weird towards them, closing down, ignoring them etc - this is usually due to being angry with myself for trusting them and letting myself be taken in. i have a few friends for life but some of them i will only see in certain circumstances, i don't tell them anything of import and as such they are just passing through.

on the other hand i very very rarely trust potential partners. part of it is an esteem thing i think, but part of it is not wanting to get messed about - if i don't let them get too close i'll be ok. this may be why i have only very very short relationships, i get bored easily but maybe i also don't want to not get bored.

the biggest mistrust for me is on a global level - i'm a politics student and as far as i can see everyone in the world is out to exploit someone. this applies to my friends too - even thought i like being friends with people, at the end of the day is "trust no one, not even yourself" and also i believe that when it comes to the crunch, you're on your own, you have to look out for yourself because no one else will.
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Old 04-20-2005, 10:53 AM   #29
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Default Re: How easily do you trust?

Too easily. I don't really know I've trusted someone until they betray me. It seems trust comes easily to me but i don't really know it. Does that make sense?
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Old 04-20-2005, 11:24 PM   #30
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Default Re: How easily do you trust?

I totally understand all of that dogtanian
I do it too. Any ideas as to why we do these things?
(((dogtanian)))
Tina
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