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Old 03-23-2019, 04:57 AM #11
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Default Re: Love in therapy

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Originally Posted by Elio View Post
I would agree with you that a form of the intense feelings of love and distress that might come from it (and the separation from your T) comes from infant and early childhood level of needs and attunement.

Do you feel like you've addressed whatever led to that type of attachment with your T1 and T2; therefore, possibly not having the needs that come from that space or have you "ran" from and "avoided" those topics? If you have addressed it, how were you able to address them without the activation of early childhood or infant emotional needs?

As for me, yep, I have dealt with this type of love. Yes it has been intense and distressing at times. It has also been beautiful and uplifting at other times. Right now it seems to be gone and I'm mourning the loss of it as I grapple with negative transference (lots of feelings of hate towards her) and frustrations with the real interactions/relationship. I mostly now feel like the disgruntled teen. Ah, the joys of therapy. FYI - I've been with my current T for a bit over 3 yrs now with increasing sessions pretty much annually so been going 3 x week for almost a year now.
I donít think Iíve ran from my needs. I think Iím addressing those needs with my T, maybe a difference is that she meets my needs (not always straight away), so Iím not getting stuck.
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Old 03-23-2019, 04:59 AM #12
Wild at heart Wild at heart is offline
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Default Re: Love in therapy

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Originally Posted by nottrustin View Post
I saw T1 for about 10 years. We had a very close relationship and crossed a lot of boundaries. I depended on her a lot. My mother had died a few years before leaving a huge whole in my life. T was only a few years younger than my mom so I said I didnt see her as a mom figure more like an aunt or friend. When T passed away suddenly I realized she did play a motherly role for me and it crushed me. It was like I lost my mom all over again. Thankfully I had started Emdr about 10 months before Ts passing. She helped me figure out and deal with the loss. Endr T is 5 years younger which is a lot different for me but we e arr making it work.
I too felt intense pain when my T died.
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