Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX - Page 44 - Forums at Psych Central


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Old 03-21-2019, 05:57 PM #431
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

Dear ex-MC,
Watching March Madness is making me think of you, especially because your school was in the tournament (though already eliminated). If this was, say, 6 months ago, maybe I'd have emailed you or something. But not now. In 2 weeks, it will be a year since I've seen you. I'm not going to say anything about that either. Only here. And I want to tell you that I'm really working on the alcohol thing now, and that T is helping me and being supportive instead of judgmental. But I won't.
That doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt like hell that I can't. But I won't. Because I can't.

LT
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Old 03-21-2019, 06:11 PM #432
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

Dear T,

What a nutso session today! It's definitely time for me to find a new t. I will talk to my psychiatrist tomorrow as you suggested but I really feel my meds are working okay at this point and I just need a new t.

Grr,
Butterfly
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Old 03-21-2019, 06:55 PM #433
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

T, we are on the homeward stretch ! I didnít bug you while you were away... yes, I know, I wouldnít have bothered you... you want me to be able to reach out when I need to... blah, blah, blah... but you still appreciate it! Ha!
Got to spend time with H today. He honestly does not seem to understand his influence on our current mess. He also seems totally oblivious to the fact that I have told him why things happen with me. I hope he will come with me to see you some day and you can help us communicate better. You really arenít that scary.
I ate twice today! Weíll blame the rainbow cupcake couch for making me hungry. The first time wasnít very healthy for me but it wasnít horrible. The second time was healthier.
I wonder what you would do Monday if I just ran up and hugged you when you came down the stairs ... you know, in that millisecond between when you say my name and when you are half way back up stairs. I think you would laugh at me... especially this week... I think you would just have a good laugh. I would have to be waiting at the foot of the stairs to catch you fast enough.
I realized today that more than likely your car is less than a mile from my house and I have been driving past it like every day. Kinda creeped me out knowing that you were/are/will be that close to my house.
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Last edited by Omers; 03-21-2019 at 07:08 PM.
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Old 03-21-2019, 07:54 PM #434
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

Dear T,
Possible trigger:

Love,

LT
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Old 03-21-2019, 08:28 PM #435
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

By the time I see you next Wednesday it will have been three weeks. But Iíve sent you several melodramatic emails since then. Iím feeling really exposed by that now and wish I could just crawl back under a rock.
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Old 03-21-2019, 08:37 PM #436
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

Dear T,

Roar, still mad at you.

-Butterfly
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Old 03-21-2019, 09:05 PM #437
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

Dear T,
OK, I think I can get through tonight without doing any of those things, including emailing you. Maybe I just had to type it all out. And, I don't know, think about you reading it. Like, how you'd feel reading that first part. And that helped me realize how screwed up my thinking is at the moment. Plus I'm really tired. I think I mostly need sleep. If I still feel really bad in the morning, maybe I'll consider emailing you then, I don't know. But I at least need to try to get through it on my own first.
Love you,
LT
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Old 03-21-2019, 10:25 PM #438
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

Pdoc, I miss you SO much, and I just kinda disappeared on you before you could fire me for not having a T. I donít need meds but I want to start seeing you again... is that bad? I think you would find it more agreeable than me wanting meds but not wanting to see a T. I have a T now. I miss your smile and the abundant hugs and all the goofy stuff on your desk... and. Just you. I miss YOU. You are pretty awesome (and remarkably sane) for a Pdoc. T doesnít want me to see you because he doesnít want me on meds... but thatís OK... I donít need meds... I just want more hugs.
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Old 03-21-2019, 11:40 PM #439
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

Dear T,
Maybe this isnít about Ex-MC so much at all. Maybe itís your suggestion that I could see backup T about addiction stuff instead of you Monday thatís really triggering me. I know youíre likely just trying to help. But it feels a bit like youíre pawning me off. Like Iím too much. Why canít you just ask her one or two of those questions and get back to me? I donít want to see her instead of you. I need your support right now, not that of someone I talked to on the phone once. I mean, if you were going to be away, then sure. But youíre not, at least not next week, because we already have those appointments on the books. I think maybe this is a paternal thing, which I rarely get with you, so that may have been why I jumped to him, especially with the basketball. But I think itís more that this feels a bit like rejection. Which you might not understand. Or maybe you would. I donít know, I just know it hurts. No matter how good your intentions are.
LT
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Old 03-22-2019, 12:20 AM #440
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

I canceled the second appointment that I agreed to an hour before. I know that I'll be just fine.
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