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Old 01-14-2019, 05:01 PM   #1
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Default What your Therapists want you to know about therapy

I read this interesting article about what your therapist may be secretly hoping you will find out about therapy. Here are a few excerpts. Link Here

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Therapy is an investment, and it can be hard work.
Sessions might be painful or uncomfortable, and the experience might be frustrating at times. Therapy is not about avoiding pain, it is about learning how to deal with it. The good news is that you no longer have to shoulder it alone. Your therapist is there to help.

It is important to realize too that healing and/or progress arenít linear. Therapy and recovery is a process, and the road from problem to solution isnít always smooth and straightforward. Clients often get aggravated when it seems like change is slow, or after a lot of work they still slip-up and engage in old unhelpful behaviors.

Healing often requires reorienting oneself in the face of a setback, but all the hard work will pay off. Each step forward, even if itís overshadowed by steps backward, creates new pathways in the brain for lasting change.

The therapistís job is to help you help yourself.
Our role is to guide you, but therapists cannot do the work for you. We can help motivate you towards change, assist you in gaining insight into whatís holding you back, aid you in adjusting your perspective, teach you skills to cope, etc., but the bulk of the work must be done by you, the client.

Similarly, your therapist cannot make decisions for you. We can help you figure out what you want or what makes the most sense for you to do, but it isnít your therapistís job to tell you what to do. We simply do not have all the answers, and weíre only privy to whatever information you share with us. Unfortunately, we are not all-knowing or all-powerful, but your therapist brings an objective view and professional perspective.

We can perceive patterns and symptomology, which can help make sense of what youíre going through. If you arenít sure what is important to mention in session or have a hard time remembering what happens from week to week, it might be a good idea for you to jot things down as they happen or to keep a journal throughout the week. This further enables you to help your therapist help you.
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Old 01-14-2019, 09:04 PM   #2
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Default Re: What your Therapists want you to know about therapy

This is wildly patronizing, even for a therapist. Condescending to people in this way indicates low self-awareness and insight, which completely contradicts the major selling points of therapy.
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Old 01-14-2019, 10:11 PM   #3
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Default Re: What your Therapists want you to know about therapy

I find the whole article to be utter nonsense. Basically the whole subtext is "therapists don't do anything but we will blame you and convince you to blame yourself if therapy is not useful."

Why on earth don't those people just give clients this information instead of "secretly hoping" clients find out. What an odd way of conducting business.
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Old 01-14-2019, 11:17 PM   #4
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Default Re: What your Therapists want you to know about therapy

Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
Why on earth don't those people just give clients this information instead of "secretly hoping" clients find out. What an odd way of conducting business.
At first I thought you were being sarcastic, but this a really good point. Why the need to 'wish' understanding rather than simply state the words and explain to promote understanding?

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What Your Therapist Wishes You Knew About Therapy
This reminds me of another post where recently it was noted that therapists seem to wrongly conclude the client wants to be friends with the T, but it is really the Ts fantasy or assumption that all these clients want a friendship while the client expects a professional service.

Come to think of it, I've seen a number of Ts, most just for 1 or a few sessions, but none have shared these 'secrets'. In this day and age, don't people expect more? That's a serious question.

Maybe the article is helpful to you or others. It led me to feel irritated.

I agree to think about discussing with your T.
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Old 01-14-2019, 11:38 PM   #5
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Default Re: What your Therapists want you to know about therapy

Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
I find the whole article to be utter nonsense. Basically the whole subtext is "therapists don't do anything but we will blame you and convince you to blame yourself if therapy is not useful."

Why on earth don't those people just give clients this information instead of "secretly hoping" clients find out. What an odd way of conducting business.
The website is a site for online therapy I believe, so it seems somewhat logical that an online therapy site would dispense this information online to an audience of prospective online clients.
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Old 01-15-2019, 06:21 AM   #6
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Default Re: What your Therapists want you to know about therapy

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins View Post
The website is a site for online therapy I believe, so it seems somewhat logical that an online therapy site would dispense this information online to an audience of prospective online clients.
Seems right. And the audience determines what the content is, and the title click-baits people who would be interested in the information it promises to contain. I don't see any problem with the content, but I don't experience the article as some kind of "ah hah" moment that explains all the mysteries of therapy. Distilled down, it feels like what I either already know about therapy or something where it's so general that an application to my specific therapy would be needed.

Just because a therapist writes an article for a consumer audience, doesn't mean that other therapists don't raise these issues with their clients, if clients themselves ask to talk about it. If my therapist tried to broach the content with me, "let's talk about what I think about therapy and what I want you to know," my reaction would be, let's not. I'm not interested in what he wants me to know, and I'm not interested in having some global discussion about how therapy *might* work better or what I'm *supposed" to do in therapy. I prefer to set the agenda for my therapy and having my therapist respond to my issues.
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Old 01-15-2019, 12:39 PM   #7
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Default Re: What your Therapists want you to know about therapy

My T, frequently talked about all of this. In our first appointment she talked about how often in therapy because we are digging up painful memories it frequently gets worse before it gets better, she is not a mind reader so talk to her about issues, what would happen if we ran onto each other in public, if I felt like not coming please reach out to her as often that is the most important time to attend, and if I just stopped coming she would be concerned and wonder if everything is okay but she won't chase people. She would likely call if I missed an appointment to check to make sure there wasnt a communication error but will call once.

At some point we talked about her degree didnt give her a magic wand to fix everything. She wished it did as she would gladly fix my past but couldnt.
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Old 01-15-2019, 12:54 PM   #8
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Default Re: What your Therapists want you to know about therapy

Quote:
Originally Posted by nottrustin View Post
My T, frequently talked about all of this. In our first appointment she talked about how often in therapy because we are digging up painful memories it frequently get worse before it gets better, she is not a mind reader so talk to about issues, what would happen if we ran onto each other in public, if I felt like not coming please reach out to her as often that is the most important time to attend, and if I just stopped coming she would be concerned and wonder if everything is okay but she won't chase people. She would likely call if I missed an appointment to check to make sure there wasnt a communication error but will call once.

At some point we talked about her degree disnt give her a manic wand to fix everything. She wished it did as she would gladly fix my past but couldnt.
What your T said, sounds a lot like what my former T said. Kit
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Old 01-15-2019, 01:14 PM   #9
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Default Re: What your Therapists want you to know about therapy

I would find that part about a magic wand so condescending.
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Old 01-15-2019, 01:36 PM   #10
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Default Re: What your Therapists want you to know about therapy

why would they secretly hope you find out
I mean wouldn't it be more beneficial to say these things to a client
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