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Old 02-22-2019, 05:31 PM   #881
Anastasia~
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My Mood: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVIII

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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVIII

I can't figure out what I have done to deserve you. You are such a wonderful, caring person, and you consistently make me feel like a human being. I think that being so kind, generous, forgiving, is who you are. And it makes me want to be like you. I don't expect perfection --you really have made me a better, happier, more whole person and I am eternally grateful for you.

I am not devastated by today. I asked you for help with the meeting and then they asked about today, and I thought I would be okay. I felt really good about it, about wanting to go back. And because I felt so good it didn't occur to me to beware. But, after when I figured out that the outcome wasn't great, my thought was not of failure, but it was one of that I have a really good skill set in what I do specifically and I thought I can talk to HR and figure out what my choices are. I don't want to work with people like that anyway. I was surprised that I wasn't devastated. I wasn't, though. I believed in myself, in who I am, in what I can do, and so I'm not rock bottom. I am okay at the moment.

Thank you T for being you.

Last edited by Anastasia~; 02-22-2019 at 05:45 PM..
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Old 02-22-2019, 07:46 PM   #882
LonesomeTonight
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My Mood: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVIII

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Dear T,
Still miss you...tonight I've had further conflicts with H. I'm not sure what part of "can we please not talk about this right now?" he didn't understand...that required me to repeat it multiple times. I'm going to have a mile-long list to talk with you about Monday, though we can carry it onto Thursday and beyond if needed. On the plus side, I'll be meeting a friend in person for the first time tomorrow. See--using the support network!
And now H is yelling at D, so that's awesome...

Love you and miss you--it feels like you've been away forever,
LT


ETA: I feel so awful...I want to ask you for help but have no idea what time zone you're in even...

Last edited by LonesomeTonight; 02-22-2019 at 08:01 PM..
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Old 02-22-2019, 08:20 PM   #883
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My Mood: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVIII

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I wanna call you and schedule some of that time 'as needed'. It's needed, and I think it's time. If I could just get outta my way and do it.
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Old 02-22-2019, 08:36 PM   #884
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Dear Info,

Iím kind of flipping out. I donít usually use food as a soother, rather exercise, but the past few days itís been the opposite. Which is probably adding to the flipout.

I just canít seem to get out of the trough Iím in now. It feels like a foxholeóa place of minimal safety, but better than whatís outside it.

ATAT
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Old 02-22-2019, 08:43 PM   #885
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Dear T,
It was great to finally see you today even though I struggled to form a coherent thought. I'm just glad to see you are still a solid person and not just a figment of my imagination....
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Old 02-22-2019, 09:50 PM   #886
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVIII

Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
Dear Info,



I just canít seem to get out of the trough Iím in now. It feels like a foxholeóa place of minimal safety, but better than whatís outside it.

ATAT
i feel ya on this. iím sorry you are feeling that way.
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Old 02-22-2019, 10:10 PM   #887
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M.

Well. I did it and sent you the proof.

I wrestled with how to do it and I prayed about it. That way was the best for all concerned.

Last night talking with you about it is so fragmented and so scary! I was in a daze driving home. In that daze I knew I had no choice.

That little one is not going to pay the price for an adults poor choices and horrible decisions.

Thank you for being truth and honest in a very vulnerable place for me.

Trail
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Old 02-22-2019, 11:59 PM   #888
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVIII

T, I really think I should stop therapy. If only I had the strength. You only care about me because I pay. Itís not special with us at all.
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Old 02-23-2019, 12:32 AM   #889
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVIII

I miss you and that scares me. I thought I could handle this but maybe I canít. The pattern repeats and repeats abd repeats and Iím weak and maybe I should just give in and die.
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Old 02-23-2019, 01:00 AM   #890
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVIII

Thanks for today. Too bad I triggered myself in session... my fault, obviously... I won't tell you but if I did, in theory, I hope you wouldn't be disappointed in me. It's okay if you are, though.
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