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Old 01-15-2019, 09:40 PM   #521
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P.S. This is apropos...My highest COPE score was Problem-focused coping- 75%

I got 91% in Active Coping: The process of taking active steps to try to remove or circumvent the stressor or to ameliorate its effects.

Time to go bleach more of the things and put food in jars.
i got 0% in active coping not any surprise, but most avoidant, at 48%
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Old 01-16-2019, 12:15 AM   #522
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Ugh.

I have been wanting to find time to clean my pantry, but have barely been home...canceled my evening errands to clean because there was a mouse in the pantry last night. I was sure the pantry was unassailable. I think someone let the door open. BLEAH. Tiny sneaky little...critters is the first word that pops to mind that won't get *** out, and it took a few words to get to this one.

And right after a Couch discussion about mice, too. SheHulk, you're not alone in bleaching all the things.

In completely and wholly unrelated news (heh), Costco has sets of glass Mason jar canisters for about $20. At least my pantry will finally look as organized as it is.
Ugh I'm not glad that I'm not the only one with bleaching all the things. I think we've caught 12-15 of those little fers in the last week. I haven't seen any today thankfully. *Shudders*
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Old 01-16-2019, 02:08 AM   #523
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Bonus: The pantry is cleaned and organized, so thatís off my plate, and all of the random plastic baskets and ziplocs have been replaced by shiny glass jars and bins with lids.

feralkittymom, I hadnít known to use mint to repel mice. I soaked cotton balls in peppermint and put them in the pantry, so now it smells lovely too. Thanks for the Couch tip.
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Old 01-16-2019, 03:34 AM   #524
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Hi couchies,

Saw some messages on my profile wall hoping if I'm OK since I sorta disappeared. Couldn't find a button to reply on mobile, so hey.

I've been OK therapy-wise but T's caseload has gotten much heavier again, and appointments are being spaced out a month or more. Again. This happened for 1 year some time back, if some of you remember. After the "1 year of once a month appointments", I'd talked to her about the negative impact on me and she really tried hard and succeeded in giving me once a fortnight / once every three weeks sessions.

Now that it's happening again, I feel terribly guilty once again... For similar reasons like I'm high functioning etc. I know she made room for me, adjusting "more flexible" (her words) patients who didn't have similar scheduling restrictions due to work.

Again I want to emphasize how grateful and fortunate I am that my current boss has continued to allow me to take time off during the work day for therapy with some reasonable restrictions... And I still can't afford private practice fees, T is still in public healthcare and I'm doing trauma work with T now...

I also was recently sexually assaulted by someone I greatly trust and love and dissociated hard trying to tell T in session. I reached out to a sexual assault center and they'll see me end of this month to answer questions I have and options available to me. T says I told her (T) because part of me knows what happened is wrong and is a violation and wanted support. I am literally dissociated from my feelings on the sexual assault.

T might also be leaving her current job. Some of you may remember I've an acquaintance (S) who also sees her. She told S her mandated bond with the clinic ends in March and she might be leaving the clinic in August or September. She has NOT told me anything about that, and obviously I don't want to tell her I know because S wasn't supposed to tell me.

I'm also job hunting again, though of course, the same barriers I face remain since it's legal to discriminate against people with mental illness and job forms regularly ask.
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Old 01-16-2019, 07:10 AM   #525
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Hi couchies,

Saw some messages on my profile wall hoping if I'm OK since I sorta disappeared. Couldn't find a button to reply on mobile, so hey.

I've been OK therapy-wise but T's caseload has gotten much heavier again, and appointments are being spaced out a month or more. Again. This happened for 1 year some time back, if some of you remember. After the "1 year of once a month appointments", I'd talked to her about the negative impact on me and she really tried hard and succeeded in giving me once a fortnight / once every three weeks sessions.

Now that it's happening again, I feel terribly guilty once again... For similar reasons like I'm high functioning etc. I know she made room for me, adjusting "more flexible" (her words) patients who didn't have similar scheduling restrictions due to work.

Again I want to emphasize how grateful and fortunate I am that my current boss has continued to allow me to take time off during the work day for therapy with some reasonable restrictions... And I still can't afford private practice fees, T is still in public healthcare and I'm doing trauma work with T now...

I also was recently sexually assaulted by someone I greatly trust and love and dissociated hard trying to tell T in session. I reached out to a sexual assault center and they'll see me end of this month to answer questions I have and options available to me. T says I told her (T) because part of me knows what happened is wrong and is a violation and wanted support. I am literally dissociated from my feelings on the sexual assault.

T might also be leaving her current job. Some of you may remember I've an acquaintance (S) who also sees her. She told S her mandated bond with the clinic ends in March and she might be leaving the clinic in August or September. She has NOT told me anything about that, and obviously I don't want to tell her I know because S wasn't supposed to tell me.

I'm also job hunting again, though of course, the same barriers I face remain since it's legal to discriminate against people with mental illness and job forms regularly ask.


QM it's nice to get an update, but I'm sorry you're going through so much. Is it possible to another T in conjunction with current T. Once a month therapy doesn't sound like adequate support for you right now especially with the assault.
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Old 01-16-2019, 07:22 AM   #526
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I am angry with myself that I didnít do anything about my ex earlier and leave, but I was terrified and somehow he convinced me that I could not survive without him. Maybe the girls wouldnít have had these struggles if I had.


BMC you did the best that you could at the time.If you could have done better you would have done better. It might be easy for some people to say "why doesn't she just leave?" But leaving an abusive relationship is never easy. It's not the same thing, but the very first guy I was totally in love with treated me badly. We were very up and down and he'd tell me horrible things but I kept going back again and again and again. Growing up I never learnt what a healthy relationship looked like and I believed that it wasn't the real him, and that he was better than that.

It takes courage to leave which you did and your girls will know the truth and see how strong their mother was.
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Old 01-16-2019, 07:27 AM   #527
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Holy carp. You guys just want my life insurance. Youre gonna end up like Elaine with her stroked out bf, feeding me navy bean soup.


You question the affections of my heart an think I'm just a gold digger!? I found out about your "connections" afterwards. I like this quote from the prohibition documentary I was watching:

"The history of the United States can be told in 11 words, Columbus, Washington, Lincoln, Volstead, two flights up and ask for Gus".
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Old 01-16-2019, 07:30 AM   #528
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Im fixated on 1996 everest, idk why. This is my 4th book. At least Beck isnt a big hole like the other guys i read. He has the greatest sense of humor. Or a great ghost writer. Could be the ghost writer, he does have a written with. But at least it makes it more palatable.
I wrote it down on my sticky note. I might try it if I can find an audiobook version of it!
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Old 01-16-2019, 07:31 AM   #529
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Bonus: The pantry is cleaned and organized, so thatís off my plate, and all of the random plastic baskets and ziplocs have been replaced by shiny glass jars and bins with lids.
Yay!

Well done for getting it all done.

You might also like the insagram page called homeedit- It's an organizers dream.

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Old 01-16-2019, 07:33 AM   #530
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Hugs, QM...I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of that. Could you get any sort of additional therapy through the assault center? If they don't offer it, maybe they would know of low-cost options. As once a month doesn't seem like enough when you're struggling with something like that (or enough in general).
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