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Old 01-10-2019, 07:45 PM   #1
piggy momma
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Default Thinking about termination...

I've been thinking a lot lately about termination. Not because I'm ready. Not because I've reached my goals. Not because I'm not making progress. Not because I don't like him. But because the days between each session are absolute agony...they feel like a million years, so maybe it'd be easier just to not have days between sessions.

The obvious thing to do would be to talk to him about this, but he'll just say "ok well let's start the termination process then." I don't WANT to terminate, but waiting between sessions is agonizing and he won't agree to an extra session each week.

He does go away from May-September every year, so I guess I can use that break to gauge what to do when he returns in September, without having to actually terminate. I need therapy. There's no question. That's not even up for debate.

Has anyone terminated for reasons other than you were ready?
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Old 01-10-2019, 09:07 PM   #2
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Default Re: Thinking about termination...

goodness, he goes away for FOUR months every year? sheesh. what if you brought up how the waiting in between is agony, and you don't know what to do about it? not necessarily bring up termination, but you could say "it is so stressful that i even think about ending therapy because of it," where it isn't you blatantly saying you want to terminate.

either way, he shouldnt just be like "welp, lets start that process!"
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Old 01-10-2019, 09:19 PM   #3
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Default Re: Thinking about termination...

Quote:
Originally Posted by velcro003 View Post
goodness, he goes away for FOUR months every year? sheesh. what if you brought up how the waiting in between is agony, and you don't know what to do about it? not necessarily bring up termination, but you could say "it is so stressful that i even think about ending therapy because of it," where it isn't you blatantly saying you want to terminate.

either way, he shouldnt just be like "welp, lets start that process!"
Ya he's gone every year from May to September. I knew that going in, because I've known him for 15 years, I just didn't think it would be so hard.

I like your suggestion - I may go with that . I've told him that I want an extra session because I really only get eight out of the 12 months of the year, but so far he hasn't agreed, and commented once that he doesn't think I even need once a week. I guess I'll see how things go on Tuesday.
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Old 01-11-2019, 03:54 PM   #4
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Default Re: Thinking about termination...

[\trigger]I think part of the reason I want to terminate is so that he wonít be affected if I ever decided to end my life. I think it would be easier on him to just get an email saying I wonít be back for reasons Iím unable to divulge and leave it at that.. [trigger]
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Old 01-11-2019, 04:00 PM   #5
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Piggy_Momma, if you are feeling like sui you definitely need to talk to your T or go to the hospital.
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Try and be nice and kind to yourself and take it easy. HUGS if welcome, Kit
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Old 01-11-2019, 05:16 PM   #6
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Default Re: Thinking about termination...

Trigger warning


Quote:
Originally Posted by piggy momma View Post
[\trigger]I think part of the reason I want to terminate is so that he wonít be affected if I ever decided to end my life. I think it would be easier on him to just get an email saying I wonít be back for reasons Iím unable to divulge and leave it at that.. [trigger]
I think he will have just as hard a time with it, since you've known each other so long, whether you are still his client or not.

Don't terminate for him, because your therapy isn't about him. If you want to terminate, do so for your own reasons. I'd encourage you to keep going until May, when you have to take a break, because I think you can get some good stuff done before that.
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:55 PM   #7
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Old 01-12-2019, 07:12 AM   #8
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Default Re: Thinking about termination...

Do we actually need to use the word 'termination'? It feels so negative to me. Perhaps I am just alone in this. Using "termination" connotes to me that everything was an utter failure and that one is leaving their therapist's office on an extremely bad and difficult note. It connotes hate to me too.

Can't we simply state instead that one is 'moving on' or going forward in their care? Do all ceasations of care have to be so utterly horrible? I would rather leave on a positive note myself. Just me though.

Has your therapist suggested anything you can do in between sessions to alleviate the difficulty? Can you ask him about this? Some therapists don't mind or even encourage maintaining contact outside of sessions. Perhaps your own would be agreeable to this. Perhaps you might be able to, as a little bit of homework persay, start or end each day with a journal entry you can share with him a an email or something.
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Old 01-12-2019, 09:19 AM   #9
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Wishful


1000% agree with you. I HATE that term as well.
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Old 01-12-2019, 09:28 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66 View Post
Do we actually need to use the word 'termination'? It feels so negative to me. Perhaps I am just alone in this. Using "termination" connotes to me that everything was an utter failure and that one is leaving their therapist's office on an extremely bad and difficult note. It connotes hate to me too.

Can't we simply state instead that one is 'moving on' or going forward in their care? Do all ceasations of care have to be so utterly horrible? I would rather leave on a positive note myself. Just me though.

.
Termination is their word for it. For example:
Therapy Termination: The Transformation of Therapist & Patient
By Katrina Wood, Ph.D.

MOVING TOWARD TERMINATION OF THERAPY - School of Education - Syracuse University

Essential Skills in Family Therapy, Third Edition: From the First Interview to Termination
by JoEllen Patterson and Lee Williams

Ending Therapy: The Meaning of Termination
by Terry A. Kupers

Terminating Therapy
by Denise D. Davis

Termination in Psychotherapy - Joyce, Piper, Klein
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