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Old 12-26-2018, 06:43 PM   #11
LonesomeTonight
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Default Re: T is pregnant

Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel View Post
Nope. No contact for at least 6 months. No phone calls, texts, emails, nothing. She starts maternity leave in April.

Ugh, I'm sorry. Will she at least let you see her more often than monthly until then? And it seems like it would be good to find another T for those 6 months if possible.
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Old 12-26-2018, 06:45 PM   #12
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Trig Re: T is pregnant

Guys, I'm so depressed. I've been crying ever since she told me...the last 2 hours and 10 mins. Like bawling; not just crying. I'm losing everything! No baby, going to lose the house, and now I'm definitely losing my T. And my meds haven't kicked in yet, so I'm super depressed.
Possible trigger:
I said in my other thread I live for my T. Well, now she's going to be gone.
Possible trigger:
I really need help!
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Last edited by Turtleboy; 12-27-2018 at 12:13 PM.. Reason: Bring within guidelines
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Old 12-26-2018, 06:49 PM   #13
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Default Re: T is pregnant

Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
Ugh, I'm sorry. Will she at least let you see her more often than monthly until then? And it seems like it would be good to find another T for those 6 months if possible.
I don't know how often I'll be able to see her until then. Right now I'm at once a week due to how bad my depression already is. This last 6 days, I've called het 4 times! The deal is that I call her if I feel suicidal or like cutting. Sucks, this session and last I left feeling suicidal and like cutting.

She said she wants me to find another T while she's away. She said she'll help and maybe we can even have a joint session before she leaves. But I don't want another T!
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Old 12-26-2018, 06:49 PM   #14
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Default Re: T is pregnant

If you are suicidal, you need to get to an ER.
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Old 12-26-2018, 09:44 PM   #15
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Default Re: T is pregnant

I just called the crisis line. Of course they were of no help. And yes I told them I'm suicidal.

My dad overhead me on the phone and came in to check on me. He suggested we go out. So we went out to a new age shop. While there, H called. He was freaking out because he got a new phone today and it didn't connect with his car. He needed a key card and couldn't find it. Yes, he knew about T BEFORE deciding to get a new phone and he knew he wasn't going to be home when I came home. Then I got yelled at and lectured about losing the key card and how I shouldn't worry about T and everything's going to be okay. So not helpful.
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Old 12-26-2018, 09:53 PM   #16
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Oh, Scarlet...

I can't imagine how you must feel, especially given everything you're going through with your own family at present. My heart aches for you, and I cried for you when I read this. I'm not surprised that the crisis line wasn't helpful. Please take care of yourself right now.
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Old 12-26-2018, 10:20 PM   #17
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Default Re: T is pregnant

H just left me again. This time he's going out Lyft'ing. He doesn't care.
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Old 12-26-2018, 10:41 PM   #18
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Default Re: T is pregnant

Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel View Post
H just left me again. This time he's going out Lyft'ing. He doesn't care.
Or, itís his way of trying to help. Bringing is some income to help since money is a stress he thinks he can try to help with.
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Old 12-26-2018, 10:46 PM   #19
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Default Re: T is pregnant

Called crisis line again. This time it helped. The lady actually talked to me and acknowledged my feelings and reassured me they're normal. She told me to plan out my next session with T, so I can express everything I want to. I have a headache from crying so much. I think I'm going to sleep for a while.
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Old 12-26-2018, 11:06 PM   #20
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Default Re: T is pregnant

Oh no, I'm so sorry , Scarlet. I've been through this. It's awful and triggers every single abandonment trigger you could possibly have. HANG IN THERE! These feelings are going to pass!!
My T went on maternity leave over a year ago and hasn't returned yet. I am doing okay with the T I transferred to though, so its okay now, but it was SO. HARD. in the beginning. I was genuinely happy for my T and genuinely devastated for me.


What I did to make it easier was see my new T while I was still seeing T. I visited new T for 15 minutes at a time at first and then worked up to alternating weeks between them. I didn't really want to do that but I knew I had to create that safety net for myself because I wasn't coping with the change.

You have time to work on your safety net. Do your best to create a strong one. 6 month will go by so fast, while at the same time feeling like forever. Just plug up those gaps with a stop gap T to tide you over the rough times.

You can do this. You can support yourself through this. I know how devastating it feels. But you can find ways to carry yourself through that devastation. It probably isn't going to feel good, but you can make it "good enough" to carry you through. You just have to survive this period of time. Anything else you may get out of it is a bonus. But you can make it good enough to get you to the other side.
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