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Old 12-12-2018, 05:12 PM   #31
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I'm trying to distract myself from distressing thoughts by watching the apprentice honest subtitles
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Old 12-12-2018, 05:13 PM   #32
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I hate OCD sometimes. OK, much of the time. In response to my request, my T offered me a session tomorrow 11:30 or Friday 12:30 (would be second of week), and I'm agonizing over which one to take...
Is that what it is? I dont think thats what it is. I think we are so used to being TOLD what we want (which is, whatever the asker really wants), that when we are ASKED what we want, and the asker didnt state a preference AS THEY USUALLY DO, we are at a loss as to what to do. Most of our usual askers are aware they do this - they know they play puppet-master.

Sorry, i dont mean to put my stuff on you! This is strictly how i feel in this kind of situation. My t learned not to give me choices if he didnt want to wait all day!
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Old 12-12-2018, 05:16 PM   #33
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I understand this. It makes me think of what I was trying to describe to my T yesterday where I'd felt a particular connection to him when we discussed stuff with my D's autism. I said he just seemed different in those conversations but didn't know how to explain it. In terms of the stuff with personal life, I've at times noted sadness in the eyes. I remember telling ex-T that I noticed sadness in the eyes of ex-MC, and she said I was very observant (I later learned his wife was dying...) I feel I've noticed some sadness with current T lately but feel weird bringing it up because he's fairly private about his personal life. And just saying "you seem sad" or "You seem kind of darker lately," I don't know how he'd take that. So it's an awkward situation. Just attempting to say I understand what you're talking about.
My T is very private too. The other day i did learn that a member of his immediate family had a serious health scare earlier in the year so that was probably it. My T looked sad was distracted, was visibly tired, rubbing his face. I really feel he should have just taken time off as i felt my sessions about that ime were wasted and even told him that and he got a bit defensive. Thats when i thought i might see someone else. Thanks for understanding.
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Old 12-12-2018, 05:20 PM   #34
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Is that what it is? I dont think thats what it is. I think we are so used to being TOLD what we want (which is, whatever the asker really wants), that when we are ASKED what we want, and the asker didnt state a preference AS THEY USUALLY DO, we are at a loss as to what to do. Most of our usual askers are aware they do this - they know they play puppet-master.

Sorry, i dont mean to put my stuff on you! This is strictly how i feel in this kind of situation. My t learned not to give me choices if he didnt want to wait all day!
I am like that. My T once rang and asked if i would swap a session and me being the peopel pleaser i am said yes, but later changed my mind, so we agreed that he would not ask me to change sessions anymore
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Old 12-12-2018, 05:27 PM   #35
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Is that what it is? I dont think thats what it is. I think we are so used to being TOLD what we want (which is, whatever the asker really wants), that when we are ASKED what we want, and the asker didnt state a preference AS THEY USUALLY DO, we are at a loss as to what to do. Most of our usual askers are aware they do this - they know they play puppet-master.

Sorry, i dont mean to put my stuff on you! This is strictly how i feel in this kind of situation. My t learned not to give me choices if he didnt want to wait all day!
I don't know for sure if that's what it is. I know my mind goes back and forth like, "Well, if I go tomorrow, then I can get the thoughts out then, especially since I'm supposed to meet a friend for coffee Friday morning. And I see T for regular session Monday anyway." Brain: "But then, what if ex-MC writes back Thursday night? Or I'm in a bad place then for other reasons. Should I wait till Friday?"

But you're right, it could be, I'm used to someone (my parents, etc.) saying what they want or prefer. And T actually included "Either one is OK" just to make it more difficult! I'm just horribly indecisive in general, partly due to anxiety, and worry about making the wrong choice. If he'd suggested a slight preference, I'd have gone with that of course. But I don't know. So I told him tomorrow.
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Old 12-12-2018, 05:29 PM   #36
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I am like that. My T once rang and asked if i would swap a session and me being the peopel pleaser i am said yes, but later changed my mind, so we agreed that he would not ask me to change sessions anymore

This has happened to me, too. I work freelance from home, so am generally flexible. And I've made changes before if my T has asked (usually just a shift of an hour or two). But the one time, fairly recently, he asked, and it really would have been kind of inconvenient for me. So I said I'd rather not, and he worked it out, letting me keep my scheduled time.
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Old 12-12-2018, 05:30 PM   #37
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I'm trying to distract myself from distressing thoughts by watching the apprentice honest subtitles
Hope you're okay Whispershadow Kit
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Old 12-12-2018, 05:34 PM   #38
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Thanks for the new couch una!
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Old 12-12-2018, 05:35 PM   #39
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CE no the accident was not near a bank. Anyway most of banks are in shopping centres now.
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Old 12-12-2018, 05:43 PM   #40
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So if I cry in response to what's basically a scheduling email, with the addition of a pleasantry, "Hope you've had an OK couple of days," that's probably a sign I'm not in a very good place...Seeing T tomorrow. (Normally, he'd just say "confirmed" possibly "confirmed, see you tomorrow.")
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