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Old 12-11-2018, 10:44 PM   #1
Miss P
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Has anyone else's therapist ever gone out of their way, to ensure you receive the best of care? Well, yesterday was my last session, with my therapist. It was a good, mutual decision. So, anyways, I'm having some health issues. I was talking about them in session. My therapist encouraged me to go and get checked out....taking me to a+e personally (she knows I don't drive!) .... and making herself late for her next client. I'm so touched, by generosity. She even contacted me last night, to ask how it went. I had to share experience
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Old 12-11-2018, 11:47 PM   #2
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That's amazing. How kind of her to do that!!

I don't have any experiences nearly as good as that, but I have to say that my therapist is pretty good to me overall. I'm very grateful to have him.
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Old 12-12-2018, 12:04 AM   #3
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My therapist encouraged me to go and get checked out....taking me to a+e personally (she knows I don't drive!) .... and making herself late for her next client.
That's a perfect summary of one of the issues involved in a therapist going "above and beyond". What about her client who was left waiting? I wonder how they felt? Deprioritised, ignored, inconvenient, the list could go on. "Above and beyond" is a euphemism for crossing boundaries and when this happens it is always at someone's expense.
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Old 12-12-2018, 12:11 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by SorryOozit View Post
That's a perfect summary of one of the issues involved in a therapist going "above and beyond". What about her client who was left waiting? I wonder how they felt? Deprioritised, ignored, inconvenient, the list could go on. "Above and beyond" is a euphemism for crossing boundaries and when this happens it is always at someone's expense.
I disagree. My therapist has gone above and beyond for me and it wasn't at anyone else's expense, and I don't think he would do it and I wouldn't want him to at someone else's expense. No boundaries were crossed.
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Old 12-12-2018, 12:21 AM   #5
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I disagree. My therapist has gone above and beyond for me and it wasn't at anyone else's expense, and I don't think he would do it and I wouldn't want him to at someone else's expense. No boundaries were crossed.
What was he going above and beyond if not the expectations of his role? By definition that is a boundary breach. I can understand that you don't consider his actions to have been at your expense, but you don't know that it wasn't at the expense of his or others. Of course, that is not your responsibility to consider, it is his and another reason why fulfilling the role and no more is important.
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Old 12-12-2018, 12:29 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by SorryOozit View Post
That's a perfect summary of one of the issues involved in a therapist going "above and beyond". What about her client who was left waiting? I wonder how they felt? Deprioritised, ignored, inconvenient, the list could go on. "Above and beyond" is a euphemism for crossing boundaries and when this happens it is always at someone's expense.
If my therapist had to cancel or be really late because he was helping someone else out with an emergency, I'd be totally fine with it, because it probably means that if I were in a similar situation he'd help me out, too.

When you're in the helping professions, sometimes there are emergencies. I don't see any boundaries crossed here.
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Old 12-12-2018, 12:35 AM   #7
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What was he going above and beyond if not the expectations of his role? By definition that is a boundary breach. I can understand that you don't consider his actions to have been at your expense, but you don't know that it wasn't at the expense of his or others. Of course, that is not your responsibility to consider, it is his and another reason why fulfilling the role and no more is important.
He came in to see me on a Saturday, a day he doesn't normally work, because I was in a crisis. No other clients were affected. It was his decision to offer to see me and I paid him, so it wasn't at his expense. Just trying to point out that it's not always at someone else's expense when they go above and beyond.

He also came in to see me the day after my father died. He died on a Friday night and he offered to come in on the Saturday morning. Again, at no one's expense.

In my opinion, these weren't required of him, hence above and beyond. And I'm grateful. I'd probably be dead if he hadn't seen me on the first instance above.
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Old 12-12-2018, 12:54 AM   #8
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If my therapist had to cancel or be really late because he was helping someone else out with an emergency, I'd be totally fine with it, because it probably means that if I were in a similar situation he'd help me out, too.

When you're in the helping professions, sometimes there are emergencies. I don't see any boundaries crossed here.
You might be fine with it, but I can imagine lots of clients wouldn't be, including many who post here. There are emergency services to deal with emergencies if needed.
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Old 12-12-2018, 12:59 AM   #9
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I would guess that going above and beyond can sit anywhere on that spectrum of boundary crossings, from being harmful to no-one to being harmful to many. I would also guess that many "going above and beyond" incidences are not at either extreme of the spectrum but fall somewhere in the middle.

I for sure know that as a client although I "understand" when the therapist is running late because of an emergency with someone else it does not lessen the harm it causes to me when I am also struggling to "hold on".
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Old 12-12-2018, 01:00 AM   #10
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He came in to see me on a Saturday, a day he doesn't normally work, because I was in a crisis. No other clients were affected. It was his decision to offer to see me and I paid him, so it wasn't at his expense. Just trying to point out that it's not always at someone else's expense when they go above and beyond.

He also came in to see me the day after my father died. He died on a Friday night and he offered to come in on the Saturday morning. Again, at no one's expense.

In my opinion, these weren't required of him, hence above and beyond. And I'm grateful. I'd probably be dead if he hadn't seen me on the first instance above.
Could your therapist do these things for all his clients on a weekly basis? The reality of therapy is that clients will always have many needs, it is not the therapist's job to meet all of them. If your life depends on whether you see your therapist on a specific occasion, I think something is being mismanaged.

I will dip out now because this boundary stuff makes me angry.
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