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Old 12-12-2018, 01:25 AM   #11
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Default Re: Terrible Session

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What you are studying shouldn't affect how she practices or any expectations she might (mistakenly) hold about you. This attitude would piss me off big time.
I think I get what he's saying though. I'm a psych major, and my therapist is also my prof. I know he has HUGE lofty expectations of me, because he's told me so. I think he also marks me harder because he's trying to push me more. I don't mind it, I actually appreciate it, but I can see the flip side where it could become distressful (and I did have a meltdown over it a few weeks ago when I told him that he needs to understand that I'm not nearly as smart as he thinks I am). That got me booked for an intelligence test in two weeks .

Hopefully the T will reply to his messages before next session. There's nothing worse than feeling left in limbo. At least you'll have lots to talk about.
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Old 12-12-2018, 01:50 AM   #12
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Default Re: Terrible Session

Ugh, terrible sessions are so hard to deal with. I had a doozy of one a couple weeks ago.

These feelings are going to pass. It helps me if I let the feelings be what they need to be, without getting caught up in wanting to rage quit, feeling like its going to be like this forever and I might as well give up on everything now etc. When I am able to let myself ride them out they have usually eased way back by the time my next session rolls around and I can address the things more calmly.

She will answer your emails. I know its an anxious wait. She will get there. These feelings are hard but they will pass... all feelings do.
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Old 12-12-2018, 01:51 AM   #13
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How high should a therapist's expectations be when they are working with an electrician or a roadworker? Someone's job, or potential job in the case of study, should be irrelevant.
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Old 12-12-2018, 03:09 AM   #14
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I may have sent drunken emails to both T and exT....probably going to get reprimanded for that at some point, but I donít care. Good. I deserve whatever lectures I get about this.
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Old 12-12-2018, 03:43 AM   #15
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MRT, Did she write back? That feeling of a bad session, for me evokes what Bion called "Nameless Dread". I feel like the world is ending, but I also know the feeling is out of proportion to the situation. I hope she wrote back to you, and put some quietude int the rest of your night and the wait between sessions.
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Old 12-12-2018, 04:24 AM   #16
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Therapy is full of these moments.
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Old 12-12-2018, 03:59 PM   #17
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She hasnít written back or called all day. I guess I was successful in pushing her away finally. I sent an email at 1 to both T and exT apologizing for last nightís drunken rambles. I hate myself. Why would she tell me to let her know how the week goes if sheís just going to ghost me? Doesnít she realize this is making everything worse?
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Old 12-12-2018, 04:50 PM   #18
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Default Re: Terrible Session

Quote:
Originally Posted by MRT6211 View Post
She hasnít written back or called all day. I guess I was successful in pushing her away finally. I sent an email at 1 to both T and exT apologizing for last nightís drunken rambles. I hate myself. Why would she tell me to let her know how the week goes if sheís just going to ghost me? Doesnít she realize this is making everything worse?
If I understand correctly, it hasn't even been 24 hours since your email. In my world, that's not "ghosting." That's I have a lot on my plate and maybe the multiple emails make it difficult to know how to respond, so I'm waiting until I have a few minutes free to call or write a thoughtful response.

I doubt your over interpretation "pushing her away" is accurate and your expectation that she will drop everything to respond to you immediately and that she should "know" anything, are pretty good distortions of what I'd consider normal email response times. I respond to very few people within 24 hours and very few people respond to me within 24 hours and yes, I'm a busy professional as are most of the people I communicate with.
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Old 12-12-2018, 04:50 PM   #19
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Seriously, ***** her, this is why I push people away, because when I depend on them, all they do is abandon and/or hurt me.
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Old 12-12-2018, 10:36 PM   #20
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I'm so sorry that you're going through this MRT. I had a bad session this week too. It's a special kind of awful, isn't it?

I hope you hear back from your T soon, and get some resolution.
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