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Old 12-09-2018, 04:01 PM   #1
LostOnTheTrail
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Default Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

Anything you would like to say to your T, big or small...post it here.
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Old 12-09-2018, 04:04 PM   #2
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Dear Info,

I want to go home. The problem is home no longer exists.

ATAT
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Old 12-09-2018, 04:19 PM   #3
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I'm afraid I'll forget you. I went by your office again yesterday. It hurt, but it didn't hurt as much as it did a month ago. That terrifies me. I like the pain. The pain makes me feel close to you. It's all I have left. I'm afraid that one day I'll lose that too.
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Old 12-09-2018, 05:40 PM   #4
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You acknowledged that there's part of me that would want to lash out and hurt that child.
What about you? Would you? Is there part of you that wants to hurt the child who went through that?
It would be understandable.
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Old 12-09-2018, 06:13 PM   #5
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

I am going to fail your exam tomorrow. And I think Iím doing it to prove to you that Iím not as smart as you think I am. And, I feel like nothing I ever do is good enough, so why even try in the first place? Also, after this exam is over I never want to speak of it again. Ever.
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Old 12-09-2018, 06:24 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RaineD View Post
I'm afraid I'll forget you. I went by your office again yesterday. It hurt, but it didn't hurt as much as it did a month ago. That terrifies me. I like the pain. The pain makes me feel close to you. It's all I have left. I'm afraid that one day I'll lose that too.
Twine I have just like that and attribute the pain to caring. If the pain stops then I will stop caring. Then I reminduself they when the constant pain stops it means I will remember her fondly and be able to laugh and enjoy the memories. Right now memories cause so much pain. I dont know when the pain will stop. I am far from that point.
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Old 12-09-2018, 06:35 PM   #7
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Dear T,
I canceled tomorrow because of seeing you Friday...but I hadn't considered that tomorrow was the anniversary to the ex-MC phone call/rupture. Part of me wants to see if you have availability before Wed. (and then I'd cancel Wed./not schedule for rest of week), but part of me thinks I should just keep it as is.
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Old 12-09-2018, 06:47 PM   #8
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I've never dreaded seeing you until this week. i want to see you tomorrow but I also don't. It's the last time before the official "end" session. I am not sure how I can handle this week. Christmas is hard enough and your BS made it harder. I know you needed to get something better but I wish you considered clients a bit more in your choice. Holidays are hard for many.

I hope you are prepared for a sobbing mess when I read your goodbye letter. I can't believe this is all real.
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Old 12-09-2018, 06:58 PM   #9
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Twine I have just like that and attribute the pain to caring. If the pain stops then I will stop caring. Then I reminduself they when the constant pain stops it means I will remember her fondly and be able to laugh and enjoy the memories. Right now memories cause so much pain. I dont know when the pain will stop. I am far from that point.
It sounds cliche, but I've found with grief that the pain never stops, it just becomes more bearable (at least for me, ymmv)
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Old 12-09-2018, 06:59 PM   #10
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I've never dreaded seeing you until this week. i want to see you tomorrow but I also don't. It's the last time before the official "end" session. I am not sure how I can handle this week. Christmas is hard enough and your BS made it harder. I know you needed to get something better but I wish you considered clients a bit more in your choice. Holidays are hard for many.

I hope you are prepared for a sobbing mess when I read your goodbye letter. I can't believe this is all real.

Hugs...I agree that the timing sucks.
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