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Old 01-11-2019, 10:17 AM   #921
Echos Myron redux
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I've decided that every time I feel a pang of missing you, I will remember my younger self, and the sadness she carried, and acknowledge that this sadness is for her. And it's okay.
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Old 01-11-2019, 10:29 AM   #922
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I don't feel well at all just burnt out and low.

The other T I emailed replied, saying he could do thursday.
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Old 01-11-2019, 10:52 AM   #923
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My Mood: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

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I feel betrayed by you when you ask C if you should stop talking to me. Who the **** made her lord and master?
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Old 01-11-2019, 01:07 PM   #924
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My Mood: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

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My adult wants to distance from you from my horribleness.
My child part is horrified. My horribleness is a master in disguise and it hijacks me even when I am trying to be mindful. I am in complete chaos. Is this just me wanting attention or seeking intensity? I don't think so because otherwise I wouldn't feel so fragmented and afraid. Is this real? This is so devastating to me to figure out that this is a part of me. I can't get away from me. I don't know if I am delusional. I don't know what to do. I am so ****ing confused. I am such a disappointment to me. I do not know what to do.
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Old 01-11-2019, 02:17 PM   #925
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My Mood: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

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omigosh u just came in the store with baby t and baby t smiled at meeeeeeeeee

so cute
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Old 01-11-2019, 02:17 PM   #926
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and you introduced us!!!!!
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Old 01-11-2019, 02:32 PM   #927
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

When you sent me that email saying not to take your class because youíre tired of my drama, that hurt a LOT. Iím glad we got past it, but it hurt. I donít even want to live right now and I canít tell you how much Iím hurting.
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Old 01-11-2019, 02:46 PM   #928
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My Mood: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

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Dear T, seven days to go...Kit
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Old 01-11-2019, 02:49 PM   #929
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When we talk about this, do you remember that I mean you?
What I'm telling you implies that I literally fantasize about being held by you.
How could you not feel violated by that? How could you not be absolutely disgusted?
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Old 01-11-2019, 04:43 PM   #930
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You asked me why I was rushing with my exams and trying to take them all early and in January.

The answer is you. If I'm done by the end of this month I can have around 2 weeks off before second semester starts. I just want to be around you. I want to see you in real life instead of just up on screen.

I know all of this isn't really about you, but all of this hurts, the pining and longing for you seems so cruel...

I don't know if I'm making a mistake arranging to see another T, but I don't see myself getting over this any time soon.

Nick drake said it best "oh so weak in this need for you".
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