Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII - Page 91 - Forums at Psych Central


Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-10-2019, 02:09 PM #901
imnotbroken imnotbroken is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: World
Posts: 170
imnotbroken imnotbroken is offline
Member
imnotbroken has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: World
Posts: 170

29 hugs
given
Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

Can't wait to see you on Tuesday, after a whole month without seeing you.Got so much to talk about.
imnotbroken is offline  
Old 01-10-2019, 02:14 PM #902
Elio Elio is offline
...............
 
Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: in my head
Posts: 2,373
Elio Elio is offline
...............
Elio is not home, please leave a message at the beep.... ... ... ...
 
Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: in my head
Posts: 2,373

10 yr Member
7,432 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

Can you please talk to the parts that show up today in the way they need and not as if they are me (adult me)?

I wonder if this is part of the issue.
Elio is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-10-2019, 04:42 PM #903
Cantfindthewords Cantfindthewords is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Uk
Posts: 118
Cantfindthewords Cantfindthewords is offline
Member
Cantfindthewords Feeling loved
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Uk
Posts: 118

59 hugs
given
Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

Your reply to my email was ****ing ****. I lost my baby, you have no ****ing idea how much Im hurting. You dont give a ****! Back to your own happy world....
Cantfindthewords is offline  
Old 01-10-2019, 04:54 PM #904
UglyDucky UglyDucky is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2015
Location: Home
Posts: 613
UglyDucky UglyDucky is offline
Veteran Member
UglyDucky has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2015
Location: Home
Posts: 613

3 yr Member
245 hugs
given
Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

Dear Dr. B~~I miss you. You're here, but I don't feel your presence now. I told you I wasn't ready for you to be gone through two appts., three weeks total, but we didn't discuss what I was feeling or why. You just left me and came back not understanding why I told you I'd come to therapy on a weekly basis - no long-term commitment; that if seeing you was too painful, I would call and tell you I wouldn't be back...no termination period.


You let go of me.
__________________
~~Ugly Ducky

UglyDucky is offline  
Old 01-10-2019, 07:03 PM #905
Anastasia~'s Avatar
Anastasia~ Anastasia~ is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 991
Anastasia~ Anastasia~ is offline
Grand Member
Anastasia~'s Avatar
Anastasia~ has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 991

4,968 hugs
given
Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

Trigger Warning **************************

















I DESPISE myself, I have NO Idea what is wrong with me. I am trying to get better, am making progress, however, I am unable to be mindful enough to ****ing stop myself. I am NOT doing this for attention. I ****ing hate whatever is happening to me. This ego state seems like a master of disguise, as to me, when I say things it seems like I am just saying things with no bad intentions. However, I sometime leave and realize my ****ed upedness. I DESPISE this part of me. I am trying so hard to try to understand what is going but I don't know. IF I knew and understood, I would be much better to maybe control it.

Here is my dream from last night, I rarely remember my dreams and it is even more rare when I share them because I don't know what it means. I had my hand on a pillow next to me (in reality and in my dream) and was sleeping. All of a sudden, a crab walked on my pillow and pinched me.

I am trying to gather all of the resources within me to make it through all of this, and I am failing miserably. At the time I really thought it was Tuesday. I had to leave quickly because I had to drive to get something to eat and go to school for a school function. I am so ashamed of who I am.

Anger is warranted towards me, so feel free. Feel free to reject me. I don't deserve to be around humans. Because I'm not one. I don't understand.
__________________


Last edited by Anastasia~; 01-10-2019 at 08:53 PM.
Anastasia~ is offline  
Old 01-10-2019, 08:23 PM #906
Lemoncake's Avatar
Lemoncake Lemoncake is offline
Luna's offical mini me.
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 4,764
Lemoncake Lemoncake is offline
Luna's offical mini me.
Lemoncake's Avatar
Lemoncake will be good.
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 4,764 (SuperPoster!)

4,403 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

[trigger]
__________________
"Love, like life, flows
Through the heart.
Feel the thrill of the flow
And say nothing."

Lemoncake is offline  
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-10-2019, 08:47 PM #907
Anastasia~'s Avatar
Anastasia~ Anastasia~ is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 991
Anastasia~ Anastasia~ is offline
Grand Member
Anastasia~'s Avatar
Anastasia~ has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 991

4,968 hugs
given
Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

Trigger Warning -
















Dear T,

Thank you for responding. I am in so much agony. I don't know if anything I think is real, which horrifies me. I wish that I could see another therapist for one or two sessions.


My adult part - refuses to let you in on anything, refuses to tell you anything. It is protecting you, or trying to. It believes that the only way is to terminate with you. It is trying so diligently to be mindful, and I don't get this, but I just can't help it. My horribleness has a mind of its own. I don't understand.



My child part - this part is causing me so much pain. It is horrified of the following: abandonment by you, intense anger by you. This is nothing new. same dependency things.


Horrible part - horribleness that is intrusive, massive, negative, I really don't know what else to say. Is this really happening to me?
__________________

Anastasia~ is offline  
Old 01-10-2019, 08:57 PM #908
velcro003's Avatar
velcro003 velcro003 is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,922
velcro003 velcro003 is offline
Elder
velcro003's Avatar
velcro003 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,922

10 yr Member
26 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

hi t. i had a bad day today, and yet again, didn't do yoga this evening. not that you know i am trying to do yoga at home. i was very irritable and wanted to run away from the children, and also at our weekly meeting, my fears came true. ugh.
velcro003 is offline  
Old 01-10-2019, 09:38 PM #909
DP_2017's Avatar
DP_2017 DP_2017 is online now
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,206
DP_2017 DP_2017 is online now
Grand Magnate
DP_2017's Avatar
DP_2017 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,206 (SuperPoster!)

646 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

Today has been terrible, I wish I could text you something funny... I wish I was still good enough
__________________
Grief is the price you pay for love.
DP_2017 is online now  
Old 01-10-2019, 10:04 PM #910
Anastasia~'s Avatar
Anastasia~ Anastasia~ is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 991
Anastasia~ Anastasia~ is offline
Grand Member
Anastasia~'s Avatar
Anastasia~ has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 991

4,968 hugs
given
Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

I am grounded now and am able to see different perspectives. I am seriously contemplating taking off until after we go on vacation. I need to somehow collect myself and stop focusing on myself. This means I would start again on Feb. 6th, Wed., I think it is. I told my general practitioner about my issue with memory (especially thinking it was Tuesday and that I see you tomorrow) Unfortunately, even in my grounded state, I can say that this horrible part of me is, in fact, real. Thus far, I have been unable to ascertain whether this if real, or a delusion. I generally am not psychotic (in my opinion). Something physical might be going on. I hope I feel this strong tomorrow, but really, I have no idea. I just don't make sense. I don't understand and would like to. In any event, at this moment, I think taking a vacation from therapy is a good idea. I reserve the right to change my mind. Thank you for your support. This is all just confusing. Hope all is well.
__________________

Anastasia~ is offline  
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:57 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.