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Old 08-10-2018, 04:10 AM   #671
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New T was okay- despite the fact I don't like women (which says a lot about me). The earliest session she could give me was on monday at 3pm as she's still on holiday right now and it's the weekend. She tried to be more comforting and reassuring which was different with all the I'm doing a good job kind of thing, that she was sorry for what I had gone through. (umm okay). Two sessions a week was intense and that I had worked hard.

Then that I would be a good doctor because I would understand and connect with my patients better. She was more open which I found different, when I mentioned trauma- she mentioned also working at

Possible trigger:


I asked her two questions at the end.

1 policy on out of session contact- if I texted she would call me back. she didn't answer on the weekends. if it was an emergency and 2am she would want me to call Samaritans.

2. if she was in supervision- yes at the moment she was seeing three and she also gave me their names and how often she saw them.

I feel so discombobulated.
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Old 08-10-2018, 04:17 AM   #672
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I devoured "Journey Through Trauma: A Trail Guide to the 5-Phase Cycle of Healing Repeated Trauma". Quoting pages of it in my journal to T. I also bought a bunch of books recommended on r/CPTSD. Especially looking forward to "First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A New Story about Anxiety". Book Depository seems slightly cheaper than Amazon for me, since ur gas free worldwide shipping unlike Amazon.
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Old 08-10-2018, 05:28 AM   #673
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For the doggy people we do this most mornings.
So adorable!
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Old 08-10-2018, 07:12 AM   #674
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I wrote R an email- the same as my dear t post- I delayed sending it until 12am on monday.

I wish I wasn't so hung up on this but I am. I feel so obsessed with him. I wish I never emailed in the first place. It's been 3 days of just pain.


EDIT:I tried to delete it now- there's nothing in my outbox so I assume that's okay and it won't be sent?

Last edited by Lemoncake; 08-10-2018 at 07:30 AM..
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Old 08-10-2018, 07:14 AM   #675
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I devoured "Journey Through Trauma: A Trail Guide to the 5-Phase Cycle of Healing Repeated Trauma". Quoting pages of it in my journal to T. I also bought a bunch of books recommended on r/CPTSD. Especially looking forward to "First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A New Story about Anxiety". Book Depository seems slightly cheaper than Amazon for me, since ur gas free worldwide shipping unlike Amazon.
Oooo I googled the first book- it looks good.
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Old 08-10-2018, 07:51 AM   #676
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemoncake View Post
I wrote R an email- the same as my dear t post- I delayed sending it until 12am on monday.

I wish I wasn't so hung up on this but I am. I feel so obsessed with him. I wish I never emailed in the first place. It's been 3 days of just pain.


EDIT:I tried to delete it now- there's nothing in my outbox so I assume that's okay and it won't be sent?

Did you catch it before it actually went out? See if it's in your sent mail.
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Old 08-10-2018, 07:53 AM   #677
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The doggy pic reminded me--for some reason, in session yesterday, when I gave an example a few times of how I wouldn't be using my twice weekly sessions wisely, I was like, "If I just came in and talked about puppies, say." And then later I said, "I mean, I'm not just sitting here talking about puppies." I have no idea why I used that example!
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Old 08-10-2018, 08:01 AM   #678
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Lemon

I relate to the women issues.... I am glad you are ok with the New T even if it is a woman.

As for the email, I also get that..... I HATED no contact when my T was gone, was the hardest part but at the same time, it was good for me, because there was no temptation. It can be tough, it's why I have to set my own contact boundaries. I don't wanna become too dependent or obsessed etc....

Hugs to you.
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Old 08-10-2018, 08:05 AM   #679
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LT

Who says puppies are not a wise topic choice? Yes I get it though, with 2x a week, it is important to use them therapeutically the best you can.... the downside, as I know very well from my T of casual chit chat, is nothing really changes... you "waste" time just discussing things you could tell a friend or whatever. However having a few light moments isn't bad.
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Old 08-10-2018, 08:11 AM   #680
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Quote:
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Oooo I googled the first book- it looks good.
I super recommend it. The second book I mentioned has mixed reviews.
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