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Old 02-13-2018, 11:23 AM   #21
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Default Re: In session t vs real life t

I'm unfortunate enough to be in a creative group with a real life therapist. She's one of the most boastful, vainglorious human beings I've ever known, preening and domineering. As I imagine she does in sessions, she acts like she has magical powers to heal for simply being within range of her ethereal aura. She told me that many people in the group think she's brilliant, though she's made no effort to get training in the craft we share. She's non-stop self-promoter around her very thin resume. She tried to give me therapy unsolicited. (She doesn't know about my blog.)

I can't imagine how she is with clients, but I hope she brings the hubris down a few notches. But she has to think she's the smartest person in the room, operating in the delusional bubble she's amazing without actually doing very much.

I will assume she's not typical of the therapist at large, since I've never known another human being like this.
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Old 02-13-2018, 11:27 AM   #22
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Default Re: In session t vs real life t

I don't know much about his normal persona, he doesn't really share that, and I don't really care. However, I am pretty sure that nobody would fake negative qualities (if they have nothing to do with therapy). I guess I know about how his mind works too, i.e. what he thinks is important vs what not, I don't assume that changes much outside of sessions.

Other than that, I know he has to be a very caring/thoughtful parent, since he spends a lot of time looking after his kids.
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Old 02-13-2018, 11:31 AM   #23
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Default Re: In session t vs real life t

I have seen my T's real side a few times. I know he has a temper from observing his reactions sometimes to things that don't work as intending such as the printer, etc.
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Old 02-13-2018, 12:33 PM   #24
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Default Re: In session t vs real life t

I think it's a less muted version of what I see in session. She is probably a lot more emotional and caring than she shows me. She is uncharactersically empathetic and caring about someone I barely know who has cancer--like, infinitely more so than anything to do with me, even though this is someone on the outer fringes of my life. She is always making sure I don't do or say anything to upset this person, which I most certainly do not--and that makes me think she and/or someone close to her has dealt with cancer. It sometimes makes me feel like a non person when I see that caring side of her and it's for someone she hasn't even met and that I barely know. On the other end of things, I have seen flashes of her anger, although she calls it being frustrated. And she gets triggered around a topic I try to bring up around sexual orientation, so there is something there that pisses her off about me, but she won't say what, just that I don't know everything. So yeah...I think she is just more herself in lots of ways and not as modulated and toned down as she is in session.
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Old 02-13-2018, 02:31 PM   #25
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Default Re: In session t vs real life t

My therapist is Mr. Blank Slate professionaI. I have only caught a glimpse of my 'true' therapist a couple of times.

Once was a couple months into our sessions, when I was talking about how therapy is a bit creepy because you can never actually know who you are talking to. We went back and forth until I finally blurted out, "Like, who are you REALLY, S??" He looked beyond uncomfortable, then said, "Well, like you, I try to be a good person." When I stared at him blankly, he bobbed his head like a shy teenager, hunched his shoulders, put a downright bashful look on his face, pointed to his bookshelf of Freud and poetry and said, "Ummm... I like to reeeeaaaad." I realised right then and there that my therapist wasn't just academic--he was a giant dweeb.

I also suspect he's someone who's not totally comfortable with physical touch/affection. He
gestures for me to come in to his home in an awkward, shy sort of way. He got really flustered when I asked to shake his hand and then hug him. He struggles with eye contact when I'm talking about difficult things. He never looks completely comfortable in his own skin. But in a way, that makes me respect him even more as a therapist.

Other suspicions are that he's calm, highly introspective,
a bit of a hippy, methodical, and a bit boring!
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Old 02-13-2018, 02:34 PM   #26
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Default Re: In session t vs real life t

When I was in therapy I saw her as a real person when she was having some peri menopausal symptoms. She started breathing heavy and I asked her what was wrong. She said ďJersey open the window, Iím ready to pass out from hot flashes. Menopause sucksĒ Thatís probably the best example I have of her being real.
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Old 02-13-2018, 02:42 PM   #27
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Default Re: In session t vs real life t

My T is very smart, and I get the good part of that : insight, perception. Once in a while though, he makes a snarky or dismissive comment ( not towards me) about a topic, and I can see that he might have a know-it-all side. The other thing is he tries to teach me to be more assertive, and I can tell in glimmers it would suck to argue with him- he would be a bulldog lol. He is the kind of person to whom an ultimatum would be like a double dog dare to do the opposite . I do think I prefer him as my T!
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Old 02-13-2018, 02:50 PM   #28
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Default Re: In session t vs real life t

I really don't know what he is like outside of therapy. I'm not sure I want to know too much either. There's a lot that could ruin the illusion. I suspect he is a bit shy. I also suspect that he was into sports in high school. He tried to use a car analogy on me one time and I looked at him like he had gone completely insane. So maybe he likes cars. I doubt he yells very often. He has a very quiet voice with me and with the secretary.
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Old 02-13-2018, 04:23 PM   #29
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Default Re: In session t vs real life t

I have gotten to know my (former) T a bit more after sessions ended. From what I found online, put together with bits and pieces of personal stuff she mentioned in passing, and now having access to her Facebook feed I have concluded that she's had some messy moments in life both happening to her and perhaps some of her own making, but come through them really well. I admire her all the more for it.

We have a mutual friend in common and that person "hypothetically" asked me if it would make me feel better or worse if I knew a therapist was a "a litte ****ed up". I said, "Better!" because it humanizes them. Only, of course, if that T is willing and honest to admit that they're all too human which My T always was. I loved that about her.
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Old 02-13-2018, 05:02 PM   #30
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Default Re: In session t vs real life t

I have seen my t at a music festival he plays at and besides the dancing, socially he seems to be much the same as in session , open but reserved, friendly and jovial. I suspect his family would see another side altogether the tired cross frustrated t. Actually i have seen him at the parkwith his very young children he had his head resting on his arms on a picnic table and his wife was patting his back
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