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Old 11-14-2017, 01:55 PM   #1
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Default Double booking by T and feelings of abandonment

So after my last session with my T i wasnít trying to justify reasons why i should keep my appointment this week. I realized that itís where I get to vent the most. I canít vent 100% because sometimes she will cut me off while venting. Other times itís a problem with disclosure for me. I decided to go.

Here i am running a few minutes late and so i texted her. She calls me back which then that was a major red flag. First thing i thought was that I screwed up the day. She informed me that she double booked for the same time. This is twice already since Iíve been seeing her in the 5 years. Itís not a bad number of times in 5 years but Iím not sure how that happens being that she rights it in a book in front of me as we are setting the time. As it was she gave away my wed without verifying earlier with me. Thatís why she then gave me a choice of Monday or Tuesday instead. She was sorry and she told me that she would move her 1pm but thatís not fair to that client. Then now we are set for next week. I told her that it was okay and that sheís human even though it bothered me due to feeling like Iím always last on the list. She knew i was having issues and I did verify with her a few days ago that I was seeing her today. Now I feel like cancelling next week or maybe even going on break. How would you handle this?

The timing was exceptionally wrong and i feel like i always bite the bullet. I prefer to take the hit than another client and have them feel what i feel plus itís not fair to them for her to cancel on them. I also want to seem rationale and understanding to her but Iím really upset. Itís so much more than a cancellation. I really needed todayís session. My coping skills are sub par even though I told her otherwise. I told her that Iíll be okay. Now i become destructive. Iím not sure how to handle this. She said that she didnít want a text later telling her that Iím angry at her being that i wouldnít let her cancel her 1pm. Itís just not right.

i understand that sheís human but this is not the first with me and Iíve heard her speak of a similar issue with another client. She writes things down. Especially in her profession I think you have to be extra cautious not to double book. That was a 40 min drive there and back for me that i couldíve been doing something else.
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Old 11-14-2017, 02:21 PM   #2
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Default Re: Double booking by T and feelings of abandonment

That would make me really angry. Double-booking is not acceptable at all, unless there was some confusion about whether you were keeping your appointment. Is there any way she can get you in later this week?

I'm also curious about why she won't let you vent, and this:
Quote:
She said that she didn’t want a text later telling her that I’m angry at her
That seems really belittling and like she doesn't have much space for your feelings.
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Old 11-14-2017, 02:24 PM   #3
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Default Re: Double booking by T and feelings of abandonment

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Originally Posted by Salmon77 View Post
That would make me really angry. Double-booking is not acceptable at all, unless there was some confusion about whether you were keeping your appointment. Is there any way she can get you in later this week?

I'm also curious about why she won't let you vent, and this:
That seems really belittling and like she doesn't have much space for your feelings.
Yes that part about "don't go complaining to me because you wouldn't let me cancel on my other client" would really bother me, too. And the double booking (I think that's happened to me once, with T1, and I think the other client offered to leave).
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Old 11-14-2017, 02:37 PM   #4
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Default Double booking by T and feelings of abandonment

I have never understood how double booking is even possible, given all of mine used either a scheduling app or a big leather appointment book. They look right at the appointment. When I end up having to be two places at once, itís because I didnít check...but they have it right in front of them.

Sure, theyíre human. But you are human too, so you have a right to be angry or hurt and you should be allowed to express that.

Last edited by atisketatasket; 11-14-2017 at 03:17 PM..
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Old 11-14-2017, 02:41 PM   #5
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Default Re: Double booking by T and feelings of abandonment

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Originally Posted by Salmon77 View Post
That would make me really angry. Double-booking is not acceptable at all, unless there was some confusion about whether you were keeping your appointment. Is there any way she can get you in later this week?

I'm also curious about why she won't let you vent, and this:
That seems really belittling and like she doesn't have much space for your feelings.
I donít get it because she writes it down. Iím tjinking unless the other client wasnít able to make any other time and she erased mine and forgot to notify me. I donít know.

The only reason why i think that she wonít let me vent is because she gave me the option of cancelling another client at 1 in order to place me in. How fair is that to that client???? i wouldnít want to be that client receiving that news. It becomes a domino effect for something that shouldíve never happened. I figured that i would take the hit since the issue was on my time and let the others get their time in. Now would I be wrong if I cancelled next week or went on a break. She offered to buy me lunch next week which is what we used to do for my eating disorder and i told her that if she has noticed that we havenít done that for some time and that i let the subject drop. She remained quiet. I said to her no big deal but i was so highly upset.
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Old 11-14-2017, 02:45 PM   #6
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Default Re: Double booking by T and feelings of abandonment

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Yes that part about "don't go complaining to me because you wouldn't let me cancel on my other client" would really bother me, too. And the double booking (I think that's happened to me once, with T1, and I think the other client offered to leave).
Thatís a sticky situation especially when two clients go out of their way to make an appt. It becomes awkward for the clients Iím guessing. How can the T choose who she sees because that would be picking favorites.

Iím glad that she told me when i was a few blocks away because if she told me there that wouldnít have gone well at all.
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Old 11-14-2017, 02:47 PM   #7
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Default Re: Double booking by T and feelings of abandonment

I would feel so upset too. I understand people are human and make mistakes, but if it’s an honest mistake and she feels really bad, I think she should be seriously apologizing and offer you 2 free sessions since she double booked you and you drove out twice
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Old 11-14-2017, 02:51 PM   #8
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Default Re: Double booking by T and feelings of abandonment

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I have never understood how double booking us even possible, given all of mine used either a scheduling app or a big leather appointment book. They look right at the appointment. When I end up having to be two places at once, itís because I didnít check...but they have it right in front of them.

Sure, theyíre human. But you are human too, so you have a right to be angry or hurt and you should be allowed to express that.
I really donít get it. She never books an appointment in the years i know her with her looking at her book. That would only lead me to think that she did it on purpose or erased my name to place someone else in and then forgot to contact me. I reminded her of it this past weekend.

She doesnít like to take fault for things. Somehow she always throws it back on my diagnosis or whatever she can find. This limits blame on her and i guess makes her feel better. It was definitely the wrong timing. i tried to be ďadultĒ about it but it was tough. I was faking it so badly.
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Old 11-14-2017, 02:58 PM   #9
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Default Re: Double booking by T and feelings of abandonment

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I would feel so upset too. I understand people are human and make mistakes, but if itís an honest mistake and she feels really bad, I think she should be seriously apologizing and offer you 2 free sessions since she double booked you and you drove out twice
The best thing is that i was a few blocks away. She then asked me if i was close. I said yes. Once i saw her number i knew it was bad. It was awkward and i was the one trying to make it seem like it was okay. She should know me better. Whenever she reschedules me I work with her. At that point if i were her i would make time during the week. She knows Iím on vacation all week. Even if it was a session via phone but no. She knew that i was having issues. Now itís even worse.
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Old 11-14-2017, 03:16 PM   #10
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Default Re: Double booking by T and feelings of abandonment

Unfortunate that your therapist double booked, but it happens at times with therapist and with other professionals. I have seen three therapist in the last six years and every single one of them over booked me at one point and usually they were exceptionally good about things like that. Though it feels bad, twice in five years is not a bad record. It can be as simple as looking at the wrong week or month or not focusing on what they are doing at that moment.

When it happened to me it was based on who made the appointment first is how they did it. I chose in two instances to allow the other person to have it and rebook.
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