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View Poll Results: Does your T charge for outside contact?
My T doesn't charge at all for any type/length of outside contact 49 68.06%
My T charges for any time of outside contact (phone, e-mail, text) 3 4.17%
My T charges for outside contact that takes longer than 15 minutes (or some similar amount) 2 2.78%
My T charges for phone calls, but not e-mails/texts 1 1.39%
My T has a policy that they could technically charge if it got excessive, but hasn't generally charged me 5 6.94%
My T doesn't allow outside contact 12 16.67%
Voters: 72. You may not vote on this poll

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Unread 10-12-2017, 08:09 AM   #51
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Default Re: Do your T's charge for outside contact?

Hey LT, you get to set boundaries, too. Working out where yours are might bring you more stability and peace than working out where/how others' are constantly shifting. It moves your center back to yourself, instead of outside yourself.
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Unread 10-12-2017, 10:12 AM   #52
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Default Re: Do your T's charge for outside contact?

My T does not charge for emails, but he is not obligated to read or respond to them.

He charges for text conversations/phone calls lasting longer than 5 minutes at his normal hourly rate.
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Unread 10-12-2017, 12:52 PM   #53
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Default Re: Do your T's charge for outside contact?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
Part of why I thought T2's e-mail boundaries might be good is that it would help me break my e-mail/text habit, too. MC doesn't really have any boundaries about my contacting him, except to say that he can't guarantee how quickly he could read and/or respond.

He knows part of why I'm seeing him is transference for/attachment to MC and about his fairly loose boundaries. So it's possible he's trying to make sure that doesn't happen in this case. I mean, of course he can't fully avoid my becoming attached, but since some issues were caused by loose boundaries with both MC and T1, it makes sense that T2 would want to make things different with me.
These are good observations. This is my thinking as well - that he's doing this deliberately to help you, not hurt you. It doesn't mean it won't hurt in the short term, but you will also grow from it.
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Unread 10-12-2017, 02:56 PM   #54
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Default Re: Do your T's charge for outside contact?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElectricManatee View Post
Sometimes if I have had an emotional session or have shared something big, my T will say something like, "We have about five [or ten] minutes left. I just want to check in with how you feel about what you shared today." So that makes me stop and think about whether I feel too vulnerable or worried that she is judging me or totally fine or pleased or whatever. If I'm upset or overly uncomfortable, she will often say something helpful or reassuring that makes me feel more secure and less anxious when I start to reflect on the session afterwards. It helps reduce that "booted out the door while crying" feeling.
I think that's great that your T checks in with you before you leave. For the past 2 weeks, I've left there feeling a little uncomfortable with what she has said or with how the session went. It would be great if she would do this OR I need to tell her that something about our interaction is bothering me WHEN it happens, and not replay it over and over and over until it consumes me.
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Unread 10-12-2017, 03:34 PM   #55
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Default Re: Do your T's charge for outside contact?

Brief update copied from couch (may share more later):
Mini session (which actually ended up being like 35 minutes...) went pretty well. Would have preferred a more official apology for e-mail thing, but he gave a viable explanation for the misunderstanding and credited the money, while also saying my memory of it was probably more accurate than his (so no gaslighting!) Clarified some other stuff around e-mail/outside contact. Much of it ended up being like a regular session, discussing things like abandonment fears (in general, not about him), etc. Some good insights in there. And a bit of preemptive reassurance in the vein of MC in there. So...T2 is forgiven, and I'll be staying with him for now at least!
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Unread 10-13-2017, 05:20 AM   #56
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Default Re: Do your T's charge for outside contact?

Sounds pretty ridiculous to me! My T doesn't charge or has mentioned a charge, but I never email or call just some texting.
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Unread 10-13-2017, 07:55 AM   #57
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Default Re: Do your T's charge for outside contact?

Yesterday, he did explain his rationale for charging. He said if a client felt the need to e-mail instead of waiting for session, then he should take the time to read it, think about it, and respond thoroughly to it. He said it's not just like dashing off an e-mail to a friend. He also said that he prefers not to use e-mail because of the risk of misinterpretation, as there's no tone of voice or body language behind it. So perhaps the charge is actually to discourage people from using it, especially since it's the same cost as a phone call or seeing him in person. Plus I can't submit the e-mail charge to my insurance, while I can definitely submit in person and maybe a phone call. My 30-minute session yesterday actually cost me less out of pocket than the e-mail would have, and I certainly got more out of the in-person session.

He also seems to have more boundaries set around his personal time--I asked him about how he'd want me to handle a crisis-type situation (not quite ER-worthy, but borderline). He said if it's between 7 am and 10 pm, it's OK to call him, and he'd get back to me within the hour (assuming he didn't answer in the first place). But between 10 and 7, he doesn't respond to outside contact, so I should contact a crisis line. He did ask if MC answered the phone during those hours, and I was like, "Well, yeah...though I've only called him once in the middle of the night, and I was in a really bad place."

I actually feel like it could be a good thing that he has those boundaries in place, because it shows he's practicing good self-care. I sometimes feel like MC tries to be all things to all people--his clients, his family--and he spreads himself too thin.
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Unread 10-13-2017, 07:58 AM   #58
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Default Re: Do your T's charge for outside contact?

Honestly, this therapist sounds very professional seems to have healthy boundaries. Yes, he's different from MC, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
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Unread 10-13-2017, 08:07 AM   #59
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Default Re: Do your T's charge for outside contact?

I have never been charged for outside contact, emails or phone calls. Neither did texting. With my last two therapists I had written more than 1,500 emails and got many responses. They both were willing to do therapy by email, but one did it more than the other.
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Unread 10-13-2017, 08:34 AM   #60
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Default Re: Do your T's charge for outside contact?

Quote:
Originally Posted by lolagrace View Post
Honestly, this therapist sounds very professional seems to have healthy boundaries. Yes, he's different from MC, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
I agree on all of those points.

He also feels very present in the room with me, like he's really paying attention to and thinking about what I'm saying. He asks good questions and has had some really good insights, especially considering he's only known me for a month. Like, I'd been seeing T1 for 6 years and certain things he's brought up or noticed either never came up with her, or else not for a long time. His technique seems a bit different, too, from either T1's or MC's. Like he seems to lead the session a bit more, ask more questions. I think the different style and perspective are helping me, at least so far.
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