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Unread 06-19-2017, 01:28 PM   #51
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Guys, I don't know what I'm feeling about that session. What am I feeling?
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Unread 06-19-2017, 01:38 PM   #52
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- Relief
- Anxiety
- Anger (still)
- A deep, very physical longing (again)
- A kind of... flirtatious... mischievousness?

Except I'm not feeling them in any distinct way. It's like they're all rolled up into a ball of weirdness.

Stupid feelings.
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Unread 06-19-2017, 01:46 PM   #53
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lucozader View Post
- Relief
- Anxiety
- Anger (still)
- A deep, very physical longing (again)
- A kind of... flirtatious... mischievousness?

Except I'm not feeling them in any distinct way. It's like they're all rolled up into a ball of weirdness.

Stupid feelings.


Relieved that you don't have to fire him - and at the same time angry for the same reason because keeping him means that he can still hurt you?
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Unread 06-19-2017, 01:50 PM   #54
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Default Re: Couch 144: The contact-miked cactus couch

I'm in your pocket ellahme

It'll be fine
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Unread 06-19-2017, 01:54 PM   #55
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Relieved that you don't have to fire him - and at the same time angry for the same reason because keeping him means that he can still hurt you?
Hmmm. Yes, maybe.

In fact - yes, definitely.

...and angry because he didn't perfectly say all the things that I wanted to say. Which all the more infuriatingly is something that he did say. That no-one is good enough for me. But maybe he isn't good enough for me.

I don't know.

It's like I still kind of hate him but also I want him with every fibre of my being.
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Unread 06-19-2017, 01:58 PM   #56
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Default Couch 144: The contact-miked cactus couch

Quote:
Originally Posted by lucozader View Post
Hmmm. Yes, maybe.



In fact - yes, definitely.



...and angry because he didn't perfectly say all the things that I wanted to say. Which all the more infuriatingly is something that he did say. That no-one is good enough for me. But maybe he isn't good enough for me.



I don't know.



It's like I still kind of hate him but also I want him with every fibre of my being.


Well... what would be a good enough T for you? (Uhh... that isn't meant as mean as it sounds!)
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Unread 06-19-2017, 02:05 PM   #57
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Well... what would be a good enough T for you? (Uhh... that isn't meant as mean as it sounds!)
I don't know.

It's hard to imagine any other T because I love him so fiercely.

Maybe he's fine how he is.

Maybe I'm fine with him being a total dickhead sometimes.

Ugh! What am I feeling?!
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Unread 06-19-2017, 02:07 PM   #58
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Default Re: Couch 144: The contact-miked cactus couch

((Luc))

Sometimes feelings take a while to settle.
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Unread 06-19-2017, 02:11 PM   #59
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Default Re: Couch 144: The contact-miked cactus couch

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I don't know.



It's hard to imagine any other T because I love him so fiercely.



Maybe he's fine how he is.



Maybe I'm fine with him being a total dickhead sometimes.



Ugh! What am I feeling?!


Who isn't a dickhead at times? I guess you'll have to be patient and figure out if you're ok with his weaknesses over time...

Hm. You could try to draw your feeling, if you like drawing!
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Unread 06-19-2017, 02:13 PM   #60
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Default Re: Couch 144: The contact-miked cactus couch

Thanks Argo

Yeah. I think this is going to be one of those ones where I'm lying in bed at 3am on Friday morning and suddenly I get slapped in the face with remembering something that was said and a bunch of feelings and insights follow along.

I feel okay, anyway, really. This could be worse.

I was worried it would be worse.

ETA: and thanks Munie! I'm not usually a fan of drawing... I find it frustrating because I can never seem to express myself as well as I would like to. I might try it though...
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