Finally sought help but what's next? - Forums at Psych Central


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Old 12-20-2015, 08:40 AM #1
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Default Finally sought help but what's next?

A little history.

3 years ago Me and my boyfriend of 10 years had our little girl at 28 weeks, I had preeclampsia & was rushed into hospital to have a emergency csection... The following 3 months were a blur & I think I should of sought help sooner.
O (our daughter) was born weighing 1lbs 15oz she had a major operation at just a few weeks old on her bowl, Some time after she suffered brain damage & life would never be the same again...

It's been 3 years of Doctor appointments, hospital appointments, physio appointments, speech and language, home visits, blood tests, brain scans, eeg tests, I've finally admitted I'm not ok and I can't keep pretending to be ok.

I've recently had our second baby, I'm not sure weather it's noticing now how much hard work our older daughter is, the difference between our girls or that my beautiful girl will never have a "normal," life that upsets me more.

Some days I wake up exhausted, I get up because I have to not because I want to. I'm more than happy for somebody to have our girls for a few nights and drink a bottle of wine so I can sleep better. I'm sick of dreaming about everything that happened and crying multiple times a day. I'm sick of my boyfriend asking me why I'm so miserable. I'm sick of not feeling like me and isolating myself at home.

So I spoke to my Dr who agreed it was postpartum depression she prescribed me some anti depressants (I've not yet filled the prescription) and few contact numbers, but what happens now? Am I supposed to ring when I feel low? How can I explain how I'm feeling to my boyfriend?

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Old 12-20-2015, 11:43 AM #2
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Default Re: Finally sought help but what's next?

Hi Petal7 . Welcome to Psych Central. So sorry you are suffering from so challenges with PostPartum Depression. It is good your doctor prescribed meds. They can help stabilize emotions. Check the med sheet that comes with the prescription. Many antidepressants recommend not using alcohol with them.

Partners often do not know how to handle the intensity of depression - many people find a therapist or peer to peer support like here at Psych Central are better places to share their process. If the partner really wants to know they will beg you to tell them. Accepting that they are probably not able to process the illness in its full, giving them limited info can actually put less pressure on a relationship.

Many people here at PC find they can share these feelings and what they are going through with the confidence that people go through similar things and can empathize. So many forums are offered as well as Chatrooms (after you have 5 posts or comments on others posts). Depression chat meets on Thursday night at 9pm EST and Anxiety Friday at 8PM.

You can also be an active member in other ways like supporting others in their questions, reading articles and posts http://forums.psychcentral.com that are applicable to your area of concern.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

For me lifestyle changes fit big in my recovery hopes.

I have to watch what I eat because foods I eat can stabilize my moods or exaggerate them. A high protein low carb diet with snacks or meals every 3-4 hours will over time reduce my swings. I also avoid alcohol and recreational drugs because those can really increase depression.

Other lifestyle changes that help me are doing yoga, exercises, mindfulness, calm music, and being active on Psych Central.
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Old 12-20-2015, 11:45 AM #3
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Default Re: Finally sought help but what's next?

Hey Petal Welcome to Psych Central

I'm so sorry for what happened to your little girl and your depression

I think you should sit down with your boyfriend and have a very quite chat with him, and make sure you build up for it very well, in a way that he'll be ready, and ask him that you simply want him to listen and understandably validate your feelings, and not to give you unsolicited advices. I think if he really saw what you're going through, there won't be much need to always call your doctor

You can also write a letter to your boyfriend. Don't write it in a way that would offend him or show that you believe that he doesn't care, just tell him calmly about your feelings. Tell him you love him too, I think that will trigger his good masculine instincts, and then he will hopefully do his best to help you

All the very best!
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Old 12-20-2015, 07:59 PM #4
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Default Re: Finally sought help but what's next?



Hello dear Petal and please may I offer you a big WARM WELCOME from all of here at PC .......................
I can only imagine how horrible it must be to have a new baby, another challenging child and do all of the tasks you as a Mum need to do. I've always admired women who manage a family life and suffer mental illnesses. I suffer ordinary type depression and it makes soooooooooooooo very tired, I spend a lot of time sleeping, so how you've managed all this time without medical help I don't know!!

Its great news that you've reached out to your Dr at last, you need help and guidance, so if it's there, take it.
I think Psych Central will be a very good place for you, it's really helped me out big time, especially when I've felt suicidal. Making friends is a welcome side effect!!
Please come back and let us know how you've gotton along!! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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Old 12-21-2015, 10:12 AM #5
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Default Re: Finally sought help but what's next?

Thank you so much for replying, it make take me a while as I'm super busy around the holidays because my boyfriend is self employed he works a lot so I barely get any me time...



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Old 12-21-2015, 10:18 AM #6
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Default Re: Finally sought help but what's next?

Thank you I wil check the sheet I'm going to put it in tomorrow as I don't want to be left feeling rubbish over Christmas and new year.
I'm starting to warm to the idea of a therapist I know I need to get out everything I've been holding in... My partner will ask me but I'm not a very out spoken person and feel a bit silly like I shouldn't be feeling this way so it makes it hard to tell him. I know he gets really frustrated with me and it can end up in a argument not heated or anything but still puts me right off.

Thanks for the heads up for the chat rooms appreciate it.

We've already agreed January we will join a gym and have a hobby together as I feel like we've become a bit distant. I find myself turning to alcohol quite easily I won't drink until he gets home but I wait very impatiently which isn't good I know.

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Old 12-22-2015, 03:55 PM #7
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Default Re: Finally sought help but what's next?

Welcome Petal I like the idea of joining a gym together, and also of therapy. Maybe a therapist could also help you to decide how to talk with your boyfriend. Wish you and your family all the best
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Old 12-22-2015, 04:58 PM #8
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Default Re: Finally sought help but what's next?

Sounds like you have positive plans. Just keep those in play and other options will appear.

Have a wonderful holiday. If you are in the area on Christmas Day we are having a Christmas Party in the chat room. (do any 2 more posts or replies to posts by then, need 5 total to enter chat room) 8PM-10PM London time. BYOF (bring your own food)
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