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Old 03-08-2019, 04:52 PM #1
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Default Therapy

I have a therapist that I feel very comfortable with in most ways. I decided at the spur of the moment in our last session to describe the event that is behind my PTSD diagnosis. She knew of the event, but I have never discussed it beyond indicating it happened. She listened, didn't ask me to elaborate on anything, and her comments were about understanding an injury I have as a result now making total sense.
First, I don't know what possessed me to just come out with it like that.
Second, I am fine with her comments and have no specific desires about what I think she should have said.
Third, now I feel like I never want to see her again now that she knows the details. I feel like I opened up by mistake. I don't want to keep talking about it. Talking about it didn't help at all. It only made me feel ripped open and emotional.
I don't want to feel like I never want to see her again. She is a wonderful therapist. I don't understand why I feel all these negative things.
I know you all will say I should talk to her about how I'm feeling. I don't want to do that either. I just want to act like I never brought it up and talk about other things next session.
Anyone else felt like this? What did you do?
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Old 03-08-2019, 04:54 PM #2
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Default Re: Therapy

I canít help but wonder if this is so difficult because you ripped off the bandage without treating the wound, and now itís exposed in all itís ugliness. It needs to be treated. You can put another bandage on it, or you can apply some first aid...
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Old 03-08-2019, 06:27 PM #3
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Default Re: Therapy

I'm in a similar situation as you -- I am very comfortable with my therapist and trust him. I recently have been having intrusive thoughts about things I've blocked away in my mind so I can't see them, if that makes any sense. They're coming to the front and well, I expressed my concern with remembering them and the situations. Now I feel like I should never have said anything and the guilt and pain from telling are a lot to handle.


I plan on continuing to see my therapist-- I don't think what we experienced is all the uncommon, it's part of the processing of the trauma. They are trained professionals who know how to help us through it-- talking was the first step. My therapist gave me the advice of journaling about the events to get them out of my head. It isn't easy, but I do find some comfort in it.
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Old 03-10-2019, 04:49 PM #4
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Default Re: Therapy

Quote:
Third, now I feel like I never want to see her again now that she knows the details.
I have felt this, I even feel this when I share my own challenges. I think it depends on what it is too. Some of this is due to how abusers threaten "if you tell" or "no one will believe you" or "bad things will happen to you if you tell". There can also be an embarrassed feeling of "I should have been able to resolve this myself" and depending on what happened it can feel wrong to share it.

However, I can tell you that therapists DO hear a lot of bad things. They don't judge like the average "unknowing" person would either. They understand more than you think and they don't push you for details, they know you will share when your ready or if you have a need to share.

The other reason for regrets like this is because "if" we say it that makes it real, that it really happened, and a lot of people try to push things aside so they can work on thinking something bad never happened. Its a denial in an effort to subconsciously not give it so much importance.

Please make sure you keep going to therapy, you need to experience that it's ok to talk about things and your relationship with your therapist can still be safe.

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Old 03-10-2019, 07:11 PM #5
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Default Re: Therapy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
I have felt this, I even feel this when I share my own challenges. I think it depends on what it is too. Some of this is due to how abusers threaten "if you tell" or "no one will believe you" or "bad things will happen to you if you tell". There can also be an embarrassed feeling of "I should have been able to resolve this myself" and depending on what happened it can feel wrong to share it.



However, I can tell you that therapists DO hear a lot of bad things. They don't judge like the average "unknowing" person would either. They understand more than you think and they don't push you for details, they know you will share when your ready or if you have a need to share.



The other reason for regrets like this is because "if" we say it that makes it real, that it really happened, and a lot of people try to push things aside so they can work on thinking something bad never happened. Its a denial in an effort to subconsciously not give it so much importance.



Please make sure you keep going to therapy, you need to experience that it's ok to talk about things and your relationship with your therapist can still be safe.



Thank you.
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Old 03-10-2019, 07:15 PM #6
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Default Re: Therapy

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Originally Posted by Brentus View Post
I'm in a similar situation as you -- I am very comfortable with my therapist and trust him. I recently have been having intrusive thoughts about things I've blocked away in my mind so I can't see them, if that makes any sense. They're coming to the front and well, I expressed my concern with remembering them and the situations. Now I feel like I should never have said anything and the guilt and pain from telling are a lot to handle.


I plan on continuing to see my therapist-- I don't think what we experienced is all the uncommon, it's part of the processing of the trauma. They are trained professionals who know how to help us through it-- talking was the first step. My therapist gave me the advice of journaling about the events to get them out of my head. It isn't easy, but I do find some comfort in it.
Thanks. I think talking made the intrusive more intrusive. I don't know what I expected, but I didn't expect to feel this intense. I will just keep trusting the process...I guess it can't make things any worse than they are.
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Old 03-10-2019, 07:16 PM #7
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Default Re: Therapy

Quote:
Originally Posted by piggy momma View Post
I canít help but wonder if this is so difficult because you ripped off the bandage without treating the wound, and now itís exposed in all itís ugliness. It needs to be treated. You can put another bandage on it, or you can apply some first aid...
Your point is well taken. Thank you.
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