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Old 12-10-2018, 06:38 AM   #1
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PTSD Projection | PTSD Reenactment | PTSD Depression

I read this and I thought uh oh. It lists 5 types of projections and then asks you which one are you.

I identify with the first one. I had an abusive mother and a neglectful father and currently my childhood wounds have been blown wide open by being discarded by the one I love. I wasnít able to tell him I love him and he never took time out of his busy schedule to see me but tossed me aside in favor of new people/experiences. I had no idea I still had these deep wounds inside of me. Iíve had years of therapy, cbt, dbt, took medication, took time off work to raise my daughter on my own and now I find myself reduced to a child who was abandoned by her daddy in a zoo. I am lost and confused and trying to find my way back home. I canít sleep. If this continues Iím going to have to talk my doctor about ambien and maybe go see a psychiatrist again. My therapist wasnít really helping me, my psychiatrist pointed this out to me, but heís expensive so Iíve been trying to handle this on my own. Even my psychiatrist triggers me because he reminds me of the profound failings of my father towards me as a daughter which is why I stay away from him. Iím a freaking mess and need help. Ptsd projection
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Old 12-10-2018, 07:39 AM   #2
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(((leomama))), the fact that this article helped you realize things that challenged you too isn't such a bad thing. The first step in healing is being able to identify the injury or injuries you have that you simply did not realize. The thing about reaching out for therapy is that there is only so much a therapist can do when the therapist doesn't know what your injuries are.

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and now I find myself reduced to a child who was abandoned by her daddy in a zoo. I am lost and confused and trying to find my way back home. I canít sleep.
It's ok leomama, as someone goes through life and experiences life there are times where a person realizes some things that were missing for them. This can make a person feel "vulnerable". That doesn't mean you are a failure as a human being.
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Old 12-10-2018, 07:47 AM   #3
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(((leomama))), the fact that this article helped you realize things that challenged you too isn't such a bad thing. The first step in healing is being able to identify the injury or injuries you have that you simply did not realize. The thing about reaching out for therapy is that there is only so much a therapist can do when the therapist doesn't know what your injuries are.







It's ok leomama, as someone goes through life and experiences life there are times where a person realizes some things that were missing for them. This can make a person feel "vulnerable". That doesn't mean you are a failure as a human being.


This wasnít so much about a therapist as it was the loss of a relationship and what itís done to me. Previously I had ended the relationship because it wasnít healthy do to a complication on the other personís part but that complication is gone now and Iím ready to resume but heís gone. He may say I pushed him away but I will say I tried to reach out to him and he couldnít or wouldnít meet where Iím at. Iím devastated by the loss of the relationship. I kept trying to communicate him but I kept getting his voicemail and then nothing. He got upset with me because I disconnected our calendars but I was getting upset by being notified where he was but getting voice mail every time I called and constantly inviting him out without any acceptance.
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Old 12-10-2018, 10:40 AM   #4
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I am sorry for what is happening with the relationship and the other person isn't willing to talk to you. I can see how that can be very triggering for you considering what you have shared. The fact that you can now see that you pushed him away and how that is part of what you do when you struggle because of your past, is not such a bad thing in that you are realizing that part of the problem is your behavior. Even though you can't reach this person it's not all bad in that it gives you more time to understand it AND have time to eventually explain it better to the other person rather than getting a response that might only trigger you again and possibly send him yet another confusing message. Also, this individual may not be the right person for you and that might be something "time" can also help you realize.

If your father abandoned you, that never meant you were unworthy, it meant that your father was lacking in the ability to function as a healthy parent. This often leaves someone wanting to be loved but also may pick the wrong partner that once again lacks in having healthy relationship skills. That is also what this article is explaining. The reason the relationship forum is THE most active forum is because a lot of people genuinely don't know what a healthy relationship is supposed to be and a lot of that comes from how they were raised where they genuinely did not get to see what a healthy relationship looks like.
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Old 12-10-2018, 11:00 AM   #5
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I am sorry for what is happening with the relationship and the other person isn't willing to talk to you. I can see how that can be very triggering for you considering what you have shared. The fact that you can now see that you pushed him away and how that is part of what you do when you struggle because of your past, is not such a bad thing in that you are realizing that part of the problem is your behavior. Even though you can't reach this person it's not all bad in that it gives you more time to understand it AND have time to eventually explain it better to the other person rather than getting a response that might only trigger you again and possibly send him yet another confusing message. Also, this individual may not be the right person for you and that might be something "time" can also help you realize.



If your father abandoned you, that never meant you were unworthy, it meant that your father was lacking in the ability to function as a healthy parent. This often leaves someone wanting to be loved but also may pick the wrong partner that once again lacks in having healthy relationship skills. That is also what this article is explaining. The reason the relationship forum is THE most active forum is because a lot of people genuinely don't know what a healthy relationship is supposed to be and a lot of that comes from how they were raised where they genuinely did not get to see what a healthy relationship looks like.


I donít want anyone other then my fiancť.
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Old 12-10-2018, 01:16 PM   #6
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What a challenging emotional hand. Neglect can be as powerful as physical and other forms of violence. You are taking steps in the right direction and should feel empowered from the choices you've made for yourself.

After taking care of your physical and emotional well being, treating your inability to sleep should be your first priority. If your therapist isn't helping, maybe try a different plan, different therapist, or take a break from therapy with intention and possible scheduled return (ex. one month, rather then every week).

PTS is best overcome in a short amount time. I am not sure why that is suggested. I believe this is suggested to alleviate symptoms and work through emotional pain as quickly as possible. Re-visiting the same issue every month may leave a painful chapter of your life open. That is what was suggested to me, and I couldn't do that. I worked through one issue over two years. In that two years, we only focused on the painful events for moments at a time. A more intensive treatment would have been more effective. After a traumatic experience, take as much time as you need. Check in with someone. Talk about your day. Person to person contact is valuable.
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Old 12-10-2018, 02:07 PM   #7
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What a challenging emotional hand. Neglect can be as powerful as physical and other forms of violence. You are taking steps in the right direction and should feel empowered from the choices you've made for yourself.

After taking care of your physical and emotional well being, treating your inability to sleep should be your first priority. If your therapist isn't helping, maybe try a different plan, different therapist, or take a break from therapy with intention and possible scheduled return (ex. one month, rather then every week).

PTS is best overcome in a short amount time. I am not sure why that is suggested. I believe this is suggested to alleviate symptoms and work through emotional pain as quickly as possible. Re-visiting the same issue every month may leave a painful chapter of your life open. That is what was suggested to me, and I couldn't do that. I worked through one issue over two years. In that two years, we only focused on the painful events for moments at a time. A more intensive treatment would have been more effective. After a traumatic experience, take as much time as you need. Check in with someone. Talk about your day. Person to person contact is valuable.
Well I just found out what someone thought of me second hand, coupled with the phone being turned off and the emails and messages being ignored, I feel like dung. Its not ptsd,its a current situation.
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Old 12-10-2018, 10:18 PM   #8
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Sorry if I made you feel bad, leomama. I am grateful for your recent threads. I don't know where else to explore my thoughts on this subject. I feel like every time I drive on the highway, in the left lane, someone will enter and hit me from the on ramp. There is no one there, I checked, and checked again, but still it feels like I didn't look hard enough or in the right place. Should I slow down? Should I continue? Will my hesitance cause an accident? Maybe I should share my feeling with those closer to me, or maybe I shouldn't drive at all. One minute everything is normal, the next day, my life will never be the same. Sorry to exaggerate here. The accident was only a fender bender.
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Old 12-10-2018, 10:20 PM   #9
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Sorry if I made you feel bad, leomama. I am grateful for your recent threads. I don't know where else to explore my thoughts on this subject. I feel like every time I drive on the highway, in the left lane, someone will enter and hit me from the on ramp. There is no one there, I checked, and checked again, but still it feels like I didn't look hard enough or in the right place. Should I slow down? Should I continue? Will my hesitance cause an accident? Maybe I should share my feeling with those closer to me, or maybe I shouldn't drive at all. One minute everything is normal, the next day, my life will never be the same. Sorry to exaggerate here. The accident was only a fender bender.


You didnít make me feel bad! Itís the discard and the ripping open of the old wound that is agonizing. Right now Iím ok. I donít know how to drive so I canít advise. Ptsd projection
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Old 12-11-2018, 12:31 PM   #10
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How is it that you don't know how to drive? That makes you dependent on someone else driving you. You can still take drivers ed and learn how to drive leomama.
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