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Old 12-06-2018, 11:07 AM   #1
raging vortex
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Default it's all your fault

is litirally the worst phrase anyone can say to me

when people say it, I don't just get angry and triggered, I litirally want to

Possible trigger:


I wish I didn't feel that way- I wish I could cope with that statement in a better way, but I can't.

that's the one thing I can not cope with and it actually embarrasses me
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Old 12-06-2018, 01:15 PM   #2
Open Eyes
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I am sorry that triggers you so much raging vortex, unfortunately a person can experience a lot of traumas and emotional abuse from individuals who always DEFEND their dysfunctional toxic behaviors by saying to their victim "it's your fault" .

When someone has been traumatized so much where they genuinely struggle, they already struggle with guilt and shame and often feeling depressed and sensitive the last thing they need is someone making negative statements and telling them it's their fault. Often the reaction is what you have described, total frustration and anger even though the person struggling doesn't want to experience that anger.

Criticism doesn't help someone who struggles with PTSD, it's just that simple. Instead when someone is struggling they need a lot of reassurance and help with problem solving based on THEIR personal challenges which requires actually LISTENING to them instead of listening for something that can be picked apart and criticized.

The therapist that helped me the most actually knew how to LISTEN and I don't ever remember him telling me not to "feel" and NEVER told me things were my fault either, in fact what he actually did do is he noticed by listening to me how whenever I talked about something very upsetting, I tended to talk and cry at the same time instead of actually feeling safe to talk about something sad or traumatic and being allowed to "sit" with my feelings.

Are you seeing a therapist right now raging vortex? It's not easy to find a good one, I have been looking myself and because I experienced ones that did not help me, and one that helped me a lot, I want to find someone that can pick up where the one that helped me left off as he retired.

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Old 12-09-2018, 11:20 AM   #3
88Butterfly88
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It's certainly not your fault.
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Old 12-10-2018, 07:22 AM   #4
leomama
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
is litirally the worst phrase anyone can say to me



when people say it, I don't just get angry and triggered, I litirally want to



Possible trigger:




I wish I didn't feel that way- I wish I could cope with that statement in a better way, but I can't.



that's the one thing I can not cope with and it actually embarrasses me


Yeah I feel like Iím being blamed and it looks like Iím being blamed for the breakdown of a relationship and itís def making me feel more self destructive then Iíve felt in a long time. If I talk about it to other ppl they will say Iím being blamed and if I talk about it to the other person I will be told it is because of me the relationship broke down . Iím stuck!
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