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Old 07-28-2018, 02:40 PM   #11
Wild Coyote
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Old 07-28-2018, 08:57 PM   #12
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This is my younger brother's response when I told him they were together again...

"what you are saying is absurd! I am quite sure that is just incorrect information put on the internet by mistake, there is incorrect information every where about every body. I just had to correct about 5 different things on my credit report, one was my son was listed as an AKA. Also they had a phone number listed that I never had! This sort of thing is rampant in information on the internet! Mom was at my house for three weeks selling her house in Bedford, she brought her cat so the cat would not be alone at her house in Colorado Springs. It is just bogus information that you saw on the internet and nothing else! They were married at one time so it is just bad info!"

It's about what I expected, actually. My older brother was not surprised but like me won't have anything to do with her anymore.
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You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. ~ Robin Williams

Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? ~ Pink Floyd

'Cause my monsters are real, and they're trained how to kill
And there's no coming back and they just laugh at how I feel
And my monsters can fly, and they never say die
And there's no going back, if I get trapped I'll never heal
Yeah, my monsters are real. ~ Shinedown
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Old 07-29-2018, 03:45 PM   #13
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Old 07-31-2018, 04:43 AM   #14
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Dear Werewoman.

There is a very simple reason why you are labouring in constructing an appropriate letter to your Mother....The reason is that there simply are no words to convey that kind of disgust. Please be the human voice of reason here...please don't write anything. Please don't allow those creatures anything more of yourself. They took your innocence and your trust, don't give them insight into what's in your mind...That belongs to you and you alone.

My best advice on this is for you to galvanise your resolve, and stride forward into the world...a world where you get to choose how to become the hero of your own life story.

Werewoman, I wish you joy and peace and all the very best moving into a brighter future.
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Old 07-31-2018, 12:18 PM   #15
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Here's what I'm thinking. I believe that your mother is self-destructive because she hates herself. I believe that she hates herself because she is profoundly emotionally sick and doesn't want to make the necessary changes to be healthier - in part because she doesn't feel that she deserves a better life.

Unfortunately, you have been caught in the web of her sickness. If I were you, I would work on taking the focus off her - and off the jerk who molested you - and truly focus on your own well-being. It's not easy, but I suggest that you stop giving those people any attention. If they "haunt" you, or if you dream about them, see it solely as a path to bringing you back to yourself. To put it simply: let go of that old story and create a new, healthier story.
Best of luck to you.

Last edited by *Laurie*; 07-31-2018 at 12:30 PM..
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Old 07-31-2018, 08:46 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Laurie* View Post
Here's what I'm thinking. I believe that your mother is self-destructive because she hates herself. I believe that she hates herself because she is profoundly emotionally sick and doesn't want to make the necessary changes to be healthier - in part because she doesn't feel that she deserves a better life.

Unfortunately, you have been caught in the web of her sickness. If I were you, I would work on taking the focus off her - and off the jerk who molested you - and truly focus on your own well-being. It's not easy, but I suggest that you stop giving those people any attention. If they "haunt" you, or if you dream about them, see it solely as a path to bringing you back to yourself. To put it simply: let go of that old story and create a new, healthier story.
Best of luck to you.
Oh, I agree with you wholeheartedly. I know she hates herself and she projects that hatred onto me - that I've known for a long time. And I don't mean to sound defensive, but I took the focus off of her a long time ago, it's just that finding out they were together again ripped open some very old scars.
The letter was really to give a voice to my 'others'. They are not alters in the true sense, but they have their own emotions and they are, frankly, very irrational. I never let them 'out' because of this, but they needed to have their say and I'm glad I gave it to them.
As to any fallout, there won't be any. I didn't tell anyone I sent it (except for the hundreds of people who have read this ), but if anyone brings it up, like if she tells my brother, I will make it very clear that no one is to speak of her in my presence again. If they do, I will simply leave, hang up, delete...whatever. You get the idea.

For what it's worth, I've been married for 27 years, most of them good or great , I wrote my own story with a happy ending.

WW
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You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. ~ Robin Williams

Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? ~ Pink Floyd

'Cause my monsters are real, and they're trained how to kill
And there's no coming back and they just laugh at how I feel
And my monsters can fly, and they never say die
And there's no going back, if I get trapped I'll never heal
Yeah, my monsters are real. ~ Shinedown
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Old 08-01-2018, 08:22 PM   #17
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Congratulations on your marriage! 27 years is truly a success. And I apologize sincerely if I came off as condescending. I didn't intend to be. I'm an intense person and it seems that intensity comes out strangely sometimes. I'm genuinely sorry about your mom. I grew up with a very challenging mother who was, at times, abusive to me. Even worse was how horribly she treated herself. Sad, sad.
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Old 08-01-2018, 10:25 PM   #18
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Congratulations on your marriage! 27 years is truly a success. And I apologize sincerely if I came off as condescending. I didn't intend to be. I'm an intense person and it seems that intensity comes out strangely sometimes. I'm genuinely sorry about your mom. I grew up with a very challenging mother who was, at times, abusive to me. Even worse was how horribly she treated herself. Sad, sad.
Intense is okay. It's a very intense topic. No apology needed.

Yeah, she's not kind to herself at all either.
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You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. ~ Robin Williams

Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? ~ Pink Floyd

'Cause my monsters are real, and they're trained how to kill
And there's no coming back and they just laugh at how I feel
And my monsters can fly, and they never say die
And there's no going back, if I get trapped I'll never heal
Yeah, my monsters are real. ~ Shinedown
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Old 08-02-2018, 05:03 AM   #19
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I don't have your anger. I wish I did.

My mother still lives with my father. She never left him.

I wish I could find anger within me. All I have is self hatred.
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Old 08-03-2018, 08:11 AM   #20
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Quote:
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I don't have your anger. I wish I did.

My mother still lives with my father. She never left him.

I wish I could find anger within me. All I have is self hatred.
So did I at one time. The anger comes after you realize none of it is your fault. When you stop blaming yourself, you'll stop hating yourself. Or at least that's the way it went with me.
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You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. ~ Robin Williams

Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? ~ Pink Floyd

'Cause my monsters are real, and they're trained how to kill
And there's no coming back and they just laugh at how I feel
And my monsters can fly, and they never say die
And there's no going back, if I get trapped I'll never heal
Yeah, my monsters are real. ~ Shinedown
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