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Old 10-03-2018, 10:33 AM   #1
Fuzzybear
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People, parental units and others, who give “love” to others but not to fuzzy bear.

Are these people fur real? What is this “love” they speak of.

Why does fuzzy bear “deserve” to be corrected, reprimanded, then ignored and disliked... and not loved.

Rhetorical question only.

(Not about anyone on pc)
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Old 10-05-2018, 02:52 PM   #2
Skeezyks
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Old 10-07-2018, 10:08 AM   #3
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Fuzzy, I identify a lot with your post.

I'm making my way through some of it. . .with great difficulty.

Here's something that happened recently that gave me a bit of help, maybe.

I have 2 adult children. The relationships, especially the one with my daughter, are somewhat strained. I have done "my best" and despite many attempts at "changing", doing better, etc., at this point it kinda is what it is, probably.

15+ years ago a stray cat entered my life and then brought 5 kittens into the world, here in my house. One died before he was 1 but the others I have known for 15 years. They are "people" to me and I believe I am a "people" to them, whatever that is for a cat. The mom I love but it's different.

One of the former kittens died recently and. . .my grief has been unbearable. It tells me, in a way, that I loved that cat without question.

I love my kids, too. . .but it's different. There were and have been expectations that I had about them. The "love" I received growing up was conditional, too. That's what I knew, behaviourally, even though I tried my best to do things differently. And, the kids are both doing OK. So between me and the husband I "chose" we did OK. I guess.

Nevertheless, the loss of that cat and the unconditional love that I know I feel for him, still, tell me something about love that somehow I kinda never knew before.

I didn't get that kind of love growing up. My somewhat "weird" husband and I did love each other. But we lived kinda in our own bubble. When he died it was like a part of me died, too, and the grief was. . .unfeelable. In order to let my "love" be real in the rest of the world it now feels like I have to let go of my family of origin and what they have meant to me -- positive and negative. It makes me want to cry and I often feel that I can't do it. "I need my family to survive" or some impulse/response like that, maybe.

We have to "love" each other, maybe? Even if that's . . .well, is it possible? We don't know each other well, we live on 2 different sides of the world. I do feel like I understand something about your pain and struggle, though.
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